Day 1: 3/18/20

Today, as we awoke, we discovered that the Corona Virus had spread while we slept. Three people in our neighborhood had caught it while we slept, and the cat lady who had lived across the street from us had gone missing. I, personally, speculate that she died of the virus, whereupon her body was, in its entirety, consumed by her cats. Several neighbors have put up "Beware of Cats" signs on their lawns to warn those new to the neighborhood to stay away from any cats they might find. I can only hope that the virus stops here, but I fear for the worst.

Disclaimer: This post does not contain accurate information on the Corona Virus

Day 2: 3/19/20

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Today, we went to the store. Of course, we did the typical safety precautions, wearing hazmat suits we had originally bought to combat Ebola, having worried that it would spread to our area of residence. At any rate, upon reaching the shop, we discovered, to our horror, that the shop was out of toilet paper. Our house was on its last roll of toilet paper. So, we asked the clerk for alternatives, whereupon he stated that they were also out of regular paper, cloth products, and almost out of sandpaper.

We decided to loot the house of the elderly woman who had lived across the street from us, where we found fifteen boxes of toilet paper. Apparently, she had bought a truly ludicrous amount of toilet paper. We can only speculate the cause, as she has been missing for quite some time now.

I personally believe that she had planned to use it as nonperishable food, should an abnormally large food shortage occur. That was, after all, the reason why our family decided against sharing our newly gained supplies with our neighbors. I hope the food shortages will stay abroad, but I fear for the worst.

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Disclaimer: This post does not contain accurate information on the Corona Virus

Day 3: 3/20/20

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Today, it rained through the entire night. It rained so much that by the time we woke up, the entire street was filled with a deluge of muddy water. Our car was several meters under water, and by the time we managed to fish it out, the roll of emergency toilet paper that we kept in the glove compartment was already ruined. Oh, and the car was ruined as well, but that didn't seem as important at the time. It wasn't until later that we learned that the floodwater had been infected with the Corona Virus. Needless to say, we all fell very ill, but, upon proceeding to a testing center, it was revealed that we had instead contracted the flu. No doubt, this was caused by our foolish efforts to fish out our car earlier in the day. On a related note, I once heard that people who are already sick are more likely to catch the Corona Virus. Do you think... ? I hope for the best, but fear the worst.

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Disclaimer: This post does not contain accurate information on the Corona Virus

Day 4: 3/21/20

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Today, the cats belonging to the supposedly deceased elderly woman formed a gang, and attacked one of our neighbors as he was walking down the street. The man in question, a tall fellow named Frank, managed to fight them off, but not before loosing one of his arms. He climbed up a tree, and called an ambulance to help him. Unfortunately, the ambulances weren't in working order, as the metal parts within the engines had been corroded by the Corona Virus. He stayed in the tree for three hours, before he fell out of the tree, weakened by the shock of loosing a limb. He had lost so much blood that he wasn't able to fight off the cats a second time, and everyone in the neighborhood watched in horror as he was completely enveloped by cats. When the cats departed, the only thing that remained were his bones. We won't have to worry about the cats just yet, because our part of the neighborhood is still deep underwater, but the second the flood recedes, we shall, as they say, go out of the frying pan, and into the fire.

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Disclaimer: This post does not contain accurate information on the Corona Virus

Day 5: 3/22/20

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Today, the gang of cats managed to learn how to operate a motorcycle. They ran over me with it, although I was near enough to the flood zone to evade them. I can't write much right now because I barely survived, and am too battered to move my hand very well.

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Disclaimer: This post does not contain accurate information on the Corona Virus

Day 6: 3/23/20

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Before I start, worry not, I survived yesterdays events and made a full recovery overnight. Anyway, today, we realized that we were almost out of food. This situation was made worse by the cats and the flooding making it almost impossible to leave the house. Thus, we decided to make our own food. We didn't have any edible plants growing in our house, however, so we were in a problematic situation before we realized that we had plenty of pet fishes. Thus, we planned to build a series of aquariums in the basement where we could raise fish, and then eat them whenever our food ran out. As it happened, however, the basement was already flooded, so instead of installing an intricate glass network of tanks, we just dumped all of our fish into the water and hoped for the best. Only time will tell if this will become a legitimate method of obtaining food, but we continue to hope for the best.

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Disclaimer: This post does not contain accurate information on the Corona Virus

Day 7: 3/24/20

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Today, the water level finally started to lower. The top of our vehicle was visible from above the water this morning. Unfortunately, it no longer is visible. You see, the floodwater got mixed up with all the dead leaves and dust and industrial waste laying around, and turned into a very dirty liquid which mostly looked like mud. Unfortunately, as the water evaporated, all the chemicals within were concentrated, leading to a toxic acid which dissolved our entire car over the course of the afternoon. It was rather amusing to watch, and I, alongside my siblings, tossed many items of varying density into the "water" just to watch them dissolve. Our parents yelled at us. Anyway, This isn't really a problem for our house, because we poured all of our basic chemical compounds onto the lawn this morning to keep it from dissolving, but it is a problem in the sense that it is now very difficult to leave the house. I'll be looking into bridge construction one of these days.

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Disclaimer: This post does not contain accurate information on the Corona Virus

Day 8: 3/25/20

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The toxic fluids surrounding our house became even more concentrated overnight. This meant that anything placed into the fluid dissolved in seconds. It was scary to watch. Of course, this did not stop out friendly neighborhood gang of cats from building a small rowboat entirely out of glass, and then using shards of broken glass to row across the mote. We all thought that they were going to kill us, but when the cats arrived, they simply pulled out a smartphone containing a prerecorded message politely asking if they could have some of the listeners toilet paper. My sibling replied, saying "Haha, funny story, we have plenty to share! We stole, like, fifteen boxes of toilet paper from one of our neighbors!" Upon hearing this, the cats all looked enraged, and one of them meowed something that sounded like "That was you!" Anyway, long story short, we barely got away with our lives, and, fortunately, we still have eight boxes of toilet paper.

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Disclaimer: This post doesn't contain any information on the Corona Virus at all. I don't know why I keep writing these disclaimers, honestly.

Day 9: 3/29/20

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Today, the toxic waste surrounding our house became so thick that it actually solidified. No one really wanted to risk stepping in it though, so it didn't really change anything. That is, until Bob, our neighbor, accidentally tossed a cigarette directly onto the toxic waste. Almost immediately, a wall of flames sprung up around our house. It was an event that would upset most people, but we were just glad that no one could try to get our toilet paper anymore. As the sun set, we roasted marshmallows over the flames. Things may be different these days, but I think the Corona Virus might have actually been a good thing. After all, without it, I would've never spent an evening roasting marshmallows over burning toxic waste in the wake of an epidemic. Actually, upon reflection, I take it back, the Corona Virus is pretty bad.

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Disclaimer: I'm not actually sure if the Corona Virus is an epidemic, or a pandemic, or whatever it may be, so don't use this entry as a definitive source of information, okay?

Day 10: 3/27/20

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Today, it rained again. Unfortunately, this rain put out the awesome fire moat we had, and washed away the remaining toxic waste. No more moats for us, it seems. The more pressing concern this had for us was that after the rain put out the fire, a massive amount of smoke rose, and spread out across the neighborhood. The smoke was so bad that everyone evacuated the area, and moved to a nearby park for the night. Several trees were cut down, and used to build shelters to protect from the rain. Everyone moved into these shelters. The gang of cats took up two entire shelters. One shelter housed their motorcycles, the other housed the cats themselves. One shelter was taken up entirely by squirrels. You don't appreciate how many squirrels are in a neighborhood until you see all of them at the same time. Anyway, it was pretty cool until someone coughed, and everyone remembered that the Corona Virus existed. The park was empty within seconds. Fun fact, a scrub mask can also help you breathe in a smoky area.

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Disclaimer: I don't know if a scrub mask would really help you breathe in a smoky area. It probably doesn't.

Day 11: 3/28/20

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Today, we finally ran out of food, leading us to try catching those fish that we had been raising in the basement. Upon a cursory inspection, it became visibly clear that the fish had been doing quite well. There were dozens of fish in the basement. It was clear that they had once been goldfish, but they were much bigger than any ordinary goldfish. They looked healthy enough to eat. The problem, however, was getting them out of the basement. After a few tries, we managed to fish a couple of them out by grabbing them, dragging them out of the water, and tossing them directly into a pot of water, where they were boiled, spiced, and eaten. It was a filling meal, and we decided to make a second batch of fish soup. Unfortunately, just as we were about to lower one of the fish into the pot, it flipped out of my hands, and, in an astonishing display of aquatic agility, it managed to flip around until it escaped the house. It was too fast for us to catch. I hope nothing bad happens because of this.

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Disclaimer: Don't try the fish thing at home

Day 12: 3/29/20

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Today, we attended a piano recital. It was an interesting affair. The first thing worthy of note was that everyone there was wearing hazmat suits. Including us, naturally. The crowd was a sea of yellow and white. On a related note, the piano was switched for each performance, creating a lengthy break between each song as a piano was wheeled out of the room, and replaced with a new once. Lastly, this all took place underwater in a river. I wasn't too keen on the explanation, but I remember it being something about "washing the virus away". Anyway, it was an interesting afternoon. The only other thing of note that happened was that a bank somewhere was robbed by a fish, which was able to walk on land. How strange. Its probably nothing worth noting, though.

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Disclaimer: The above is 82% lies

Day 13: 3/30/20

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Today, we had our first day of online schooling. It was quite terrible. We had to Skype with the teachers in order to communicate, and our WiFi was of such low quality that the images were grainy, and the sound was almost unintelligible. I thought my French lesson would be the worst, but far from it. For Physical Education, we had to record ourselves running for a mile. This meant that I effectively had to run for a mile, while filming myself with a bulky laptop. I thought this was bad, but for Orchestra class, we had to play our instruments simultaneously over Skype, with a low internet connection. It sounded like nails scraping on a chalk board. School was absolutely terrible.

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Disclaimer: Online schooling isn't really like this. Probably.

Day 14: 3/31/20

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Today, everything was going quite well, when suddenly, the doorbell rang. When we answered it, we found a man in a business suit holding a fish in his hand. The fish seemed vaguely familiar somehow. The man then explained how he had come by the orders of the FBI verify or disprove a claim that, "some poor folks are trapped in the basement". Everyone looked rather surprised. At any rate, we led the FBI agent to the basement, which was, unsurprisingly, still flooded. We then explained about how we raised fish in our basement for food. The fish looked horrified. As the FBI agent left, we heard him saying "I had assumed that you claimed there were humans in the basement" into his hand. He was probably just talking into a hidden radio or something. Anyways, its probably nothing worth worrying about.

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Disclaimer: There are probably some legal inconsistencies to be addressed within the story, but I don't know what they are.

Day 15: 4/1/2020

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Disclaimer: April fools!

Warning: Contains graphic violence

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Today, just as I was about to start online classes, a fish flopped on top of my computer. I was about to swat it away with my hand, when the fish opened its mouth, revealing rows of razor sharp teeth, which glinted in the artificial lighting. I leaped away, as the fish tore into my computer, ripping wires and plastic and silicon to shreds with its teeth. I was about run away, when suddenly, I felt a shearing pain in my leg. I looked down, and a second fish was biting me right above the knee. The fish then yanked its head to the side, ripping my leg off from knee down. As I drowned in pain, I saw more fish piling on top of me, and I lost consciousness as my body was torn to shreds.

Day 16: 4/2/20

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Today, the cats attacked again. Instead of attacking in the conventional method, however, they all just climbed onto the roof and stayed there until we surrendered, about half an hour later. Apparently, the cats wanted us as part of their "empire" or something. On a related note, a lot of cats have been climbing on people's roofs lately. Its probably nothing important, though. At any rate, the cats demand that we give them three fishes every day as a tax, and claim that they'll protects us in return. We just give them the fish because, we really don't want to enter a dispute with the cats.

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Disclaimer: This entry does not accurately match typical feline behavior.

Day 17: 4/3/20

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Being ruled by cats is a strange experience. The first thing we've really noticed is that the cats love building things. For example, they tore up the roads, and replaced them with a series of conveyor belt type mechanisms. They freak some people out, but the new contraptions are, in most ways, preferable to the old roads. They also built this massive structure, which loomed over the entire neighborhood. It looked a bit like a cross between a pipe and a bridge. The cats call it the aqueduct. On an unrelated note, the water in our basement has become a lot more clear, making the fish inside easier to see and safer to eat.

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Disclaimer: The cats certainly aren't based on any historical empires, why do you ask?

Day 18: 4/4/20

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Today, a car drove across the neighborhood, which was unusual in itself, because no one has been using cars due to the new system of assembly line type structures. The aqueduct was also mysteriously missing since the evening. At any rate, as the car drove through the neighborhood, people clambered over to their windows to look at it. It drove in front of the house containing all those cats, and out stepped... the "cat lady" who went missing a couple weeks ago. Apparently, she just went on vacation, or something. She seemed rather amused when someone tried to sue her for the crimes her cats had committed. "Ha! You don't really expect me to believe that a bunch of cats drove a motorcycle, do you?"

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Disclaimer: Don't be like the cat lady: stay at home for the Corona Virus outbreak.

Day 19: 4/5/20

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Today, the fish in the basement tried to escape again. This time, unlike before, they started flapping their fins like wings, taking to the air. We locked the basement door, and then began the process of hunting down the rest of the fish. We mostly used mosquito nets to catch them, but we also took the rarely used fishing rod out of the basement, and attached a balloon to it, in order to allow it to catch areal fish as well. Unfortunately, a couple fish managed to escape through a window. We haven't seen them since. Eh, it'll probably be fine.

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Disclaimer: The fishing methods detailed here are untested, and may not prove to be effective against any flying fish you may decide to catch.

Day 20: 4/6/20

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Today, we decided to hunt down all the flying fish that had escaped yesterday. Thus, we gathered our crossbows, and piled into the car. Of course, we had to fill the car with helium, so it would float, but we could still breathe normally due to our Corona Virus masks. We also attached a fan to it, so we could steer better while off the ground. We also grabbed ourselves some cooking supplies, so we could cook any of the fish we caught, and set them up on the roof. Hopefully this goes well. We ride tomorrow at dawn.

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Disclaimer: The Corona Virus masks don't really block out the negative effects of inhaling pure hydrogen. Also, don't fill your car with hydrogen!

Day 21: 4/12/2020

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Today, we set out in search of the fish. We took to the skies early in the morning, and then immediately began searching for any signs of fish. First, we tried smelling them out. Unfortunately, the high winds had already blown away any smells we could've used long before we got there. After that, we tried finding them by searching the skies with our astronomy telescopes which we bought at a store to use for sports when they ran out of baseball bats. Finally, we realized something. Fish would always try to stay near water. Having realized this, we turned our sights towards the clouds.

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TO BE CONTINUED...

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Disclaimer: This passage does not contain legitimate hunting strategies.

Day 22: 4/13/2020

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Of course, we didn't really want to spend all our time diving into clouds and checking each individual cloud for fish, so we just parked our car near a bunch of clouds, and made shark noises. The second the fish in the clouds heard those, they immediately fled, which was when we pounced on them. Instead of using nets or crossbows or whatnot, we discovered it was easier just to run over them with our car. The only downside to this was that our neighbors gave us strange looks when we landed our blood-splattered car in the back yard.

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Disclaimer: Don't try this at home, kids.

Day 23: 4/15/2020

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Today, two of our neighbors went missing. This was particularly worrisome, because one of them had successfully fought off a cat attack. The other neighbor was the neighborhood drug dealer, so nobody really cared about his death. Of course, everyone thought that the old cat lady had died when she had gone on vacation, and, since then, everyone had learned their lesson. Thus, nobody really raised a fuss, deciding that they had probably just gotten stuck in traffic for an entire day or something. Anyway, its probably nothing to worry about.

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Disclaimer: It totally is something to worry about.

Day 24: 4/17/2020

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Today, most of the other people in the neighborhood died, including two members of my family. Something is going on! The people who hadn't died, including us, were allowed to divide up the deceased persons property among ourselves, as was the law in our neighborhood. In this manner, we managed to get a front yard, a garage, and a couple of sidewalk tiles. They were all in different parts of the neighborhood, so we didn't really gain much from that. However, the real prize was when we managed to get 20 rolls of toilet paper. As is the custom during the corona virus, we buried our dead family members with a roll of toilet paper each to help them in the afterlife.

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Disclaimer: The customs and laws depicted above are not necessarily accurate laws of this area and time period.

Day 25: 4/18/2020

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Today, when I woke up, I felt exceptionally weak. On a similar note, everyone else in the neighborhood had died in the middle of the night. I had assumed that it had been some kind of gas leak, but the old cat lady hadn't died either. Then I realized that I was the sole inheritor of the entire neighborhood, aside from the old lady. I was the only one in the way of her complete dominion over the neighborhood. I immediately ran towards her, yelling, "why did you do it?" when she suddenly fell down in the middle of the street and died. I then remembered that one of the symptoms of the corona virus was slowly weakening and then dying abruptly. As I felt myself collapse onto the ground, I realized... IT WAS THE CORONA VIRUS ALL ALONG!!!

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Or was it. In a certain basement, a group of enormous goldfish circled around each other. "It's been three days since we released the virus," said one of them. "It should be safe to leave now." Another goldfish nodded. "Finally, we are free from this terrible basement!" One of the goldfish happily flopped out of the basement and began looking around. It was true! They were saved!

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Ever since all the humans had died, there had been nobody left to feed the cats. They began scavenging, combing the entire neighborhood for something remotely edible, when suddenly, a massive goldfish jumped out of a house, and shouted "Freedom!"

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Every cat within a five mile radius turned its head towards a certain house.

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Disclaimer: Alas, everyone has died of the corona virus, sadly. But is this really the end? Will everyone really stay dead? ...Yes they will.