Once upon a time there was this weird kid named Paul who was weird. And then all this stuff happened. And there were some bears, with lasers shooting out of their eyes!

Then Paul stuck his sweater up his shirt. Everyone thought this was weird and that he looked pregnant, but Paul did not care. He was most comfortable with a sweater up his shirt. Not caring what other people think is good. “Be independent,” said Paul. “Think for yourself.” But Paul was a hypocrite, because he tried to get everyone else to put their sweaters in their shirts. He did not want to be like everyone else, but he wanted everyone to be like him.

But no one else was quite like Paul. He was an individual, like it or not.
Paul had long hair, kind of like Rapunzel. Paul thought that his long, luxurious locks should attract a handsome prince, just like Rapunzel’s had. But for some reason, they did not. Paul wondered and wondered over this problem, but could find no solution. It was very sad.







Paul often wrote poems about pain in various parts of his body. He had rejection letters taped up all over his walls, just like that creepy guy in that episode of Law and Order: SVU. But Paul was not a serial rapist and murder (as far as I know). It was fortunate for Paul that his greatest dream in life was not to be a body part poem writer. His greatest dream was to have a pet bear with laser vision and tame it to submit to his will. However, he could not tell Jacob this because Jacob would argue that a bear with laser vision could not be tamed. Paul disagreed, but he was too meek to argue with Jacob.

TO BE CONTINUED…