Do I regret | Teen Ink

Do I regret

February 2, 2015
By Anonymous

"I'm tired, i need to rest so lets stop over there" I said
"Im sorry" I said
"Shut up" I yelled "It's not your fault, I wanted to do this, plus all of this is my fault I never should of....
Silence...
"Its not your fault either, it's... the traitors fault" Esmeralda whispered "I'm really grateful for what you have done for us, without you we would of been enslaved by them forever.
I stopped moving after she said that, tears started to come down my eyes, i started remember how my life was changed on my act.
In the year 1998, I was a lieutenant of the soldiers of Guatemala. My men and I was ordered to burn down a small village that was said to of been the rebels hideout. I later found out it was only a group of workers who was whipped and refused to work. But we didn't know... they were all burned alive and it was all because of how stupid i am.
"Hey! Hey! Yelled  Esmeralda "Are you okay? Here's some water, come on drink up."
"Gulp, Gulp" I was awakened from my memories by Esmeralda, but I didn't answer her for a moment. I just lay there looking at the high moon above me. Then I answered her "Yeah im ok, sorry about scaring you like that"
"Lets go" she said " lets travel a bit more before we rest
"Alright I answered. but I actually wanted to stop, I was incredibly exhausted from carrying her all day. She might of seen my expressions because she climb down on me and started walking on her own. She seemed happier now. a lot more than when she was crying on top of me when we first started walking.
She then turned around and yelled "Hurry up." I smiled and started walking towards her, before long we found a place to rest, I stayed up while she slept on the dessert floor. The dessert is an dangerous place, full of wild animals, and the weather changes dramatically between the night and day. I went and found some wood to burn so we could stay warm but, i must put it out when i heard a noise in a distant, i did it because iv'e seen other immagrators like us getting captured by the border patrol and was sent back to their hell hole.
(Morning)
We got up and started walking again, sand got into our eyes, and illusions have come and go. We rested and ran out of water and it was getting dark again. We were dehydrated and was felt like i was about to die soon. But when i looked a over i a small sand mountain i saw an oasis, a small village size pond filled with crystal clear water, at that moment i thought it was a mirage. So i just kept walking until Esmeralda also saw the pond and asked me to go there with her. I didn't want to make her sad by telling her it was only a mirage when we were close to dying so i just went with it.
(Grunting)
  We walked for about 30 minutes towards the oasis and i was right, it was only a mirage of what seemed like a large pond of water from afar but it turned out to be only a pool of water... we are safe! It may not be a whole lot of water that will last us for generations, but it was enough to keep us h\hydrated to get to the north. She and I were happy, she started jumping and yelling and I smiled. I drank some water and told her im gonna head off to find something to burn.
(Fire Chirping)
"hey Juan?" said Esmeralda as she looked up to the moon. "why are we going to the north again?"
"so we can live a better life and escape the traitors."
"but how? Isn't the American life hard for us immigrants?"
" Don't worry, I have a friend who have connection with high authorities"
"Oh, who is your friend? And how did you two meet?"
"his name is will, he and his father came to Guatemala for business, when he was just 8 he was almost but by a snake but I saved him by killing the snake, we spent some time together but mostly he just followed me, but we became real close friend later on"
... she went asleep, I thought to myself "why do i keep her around...?" and after that thought I remembered why, she saved my life.
Back in Guatemala I was again ordered to burn down a village, but this time i didn't want to. My captain and other higher officials also came, they wanted this to be swift and clean. I had no power to stop them I sat back the entire time just watching villagers slaughter and houses burned, and the captured being beheaded.
I give up. I going to give up my life to save them now, when i saw womens being raped, kids being killed without mercy. I holed my gun and held it on top of the governors head. I ordered them to  stop killing and let the people go, and when they did I putted my gun down. I was then strucked down by the governor pistol. I was sure he was going to kill me. But a scout came out of nowhere and whispered to his ear. They ran immediately> Later I found out the rebels have came. They grabbed me and hauled me to their base. I been there for a few weeks, tortured all day and night. They wanted me to spill out the government plans but i couldn't, i cant betray the government. They were done with me, they were going to end me now.  When one of the rebels hold his Sabre up to my neck.
"No" yelled a girl
The women who said that is Esmeralda who was the daughter of the Rebels leader.
"Stop it! This man saved my life. He is not with the army."
"Are you sure Esmeralda?" asked her father
"yes father, he saved me from being raped by those vile humans"
I was released with the leaders command and I spent a few days there. Esmeralda and I started talking and spent some time together, life was getting better, but it ended fast. The Government has found the hideout and started raiding the rebels. Bombing has stared, bullets flying everywhere and the Rebels are losing.
"Run" yelled Esmeralda's father "Juan get her our of here, HURRY!"
"yes sir"
"No! Let go of me! Let go!"
I knocked her out and went through a underground passage i have learned while i spent time at the base and gotten out of there.
(At Night)
We were standing on top of the mountain, the fire of the base lit up the night sky.
"Where are we gonna go Juan?"
"To the North"
"Alright" Esmeralda said as she was sobbing
We started walking in the morning and i was thinking to myself
"Here we are, because of all those incidents, were now in the end of the dessert to the north."
We walked one more day and finally arrived at night. My friend Will was standing there to greet us. He gave me a job later as a leading security guard for him. As for Esmeralda, she and I got married. We are now living in America, and as legal citizens. We had two childrens, a twin one boy and one girl. The boy's name is Pablo and the girls name is Maria. I never regretted saving the people from then on, because if i never did I would never be in America with the 3 people I love most in this wide world.



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