Dear James,
By the time you read this, I will be gone from this world, and you will most likely be between spells of anguish and despair. You will not understand my reasons for keeping you in the dark nor forgive me from a betrayal of this magnitude. I hope that one day your resentment and hatred for my actions will reside to help you reveal my intentions. I have only done this out of a twisted need to protect you; a protection from more of the pain we have long suffered from loss. You will curse me for my primitive excuse, but it is the only I can provide.
Every day, I walked through those halls ten feet tall as long as I was side by side with you James, my dear brother, my other half. As a team, we were unstoppable, impervious to any and all confrontation. Together we changed lives for many people with most being random strangers; you might not agree that we bettered anyone’s lives, but you never looked into their eyes as I did. We achieved great things. We could have achieved so much more. My greatest regret is that I will never be by your side to finally achieve the good that would counteract the bad that has filled our lives without mercy.
James, you have no idea what this sickness has done to me; the pain it has forced me to endure, constant, unending, unfathomable. I push through the day with a bright face plastered on covering my agonizing body. I have quietly begged for death the past months to just let it stop until it has finally decided to answer my calls. My very own body wants me dead; it wishes to torture me, playing with me until the very last string that dangles me over an endless pit is finally severed. I can only imagine this all as cosmic revenge for my sins no matter how few you might call them.
I must go now James. I can feel icy fingers gripping my shoulder, numbing me to my misery. I am ready, I fear death no longer. Let it embrace me with serenity and a soothing peace. Stay strong, brother. Never forget what you may achieve, with or without me. Until I see you on the other side, I love you, James. God forgive me.
Dennis