Seeing my grandpa laying there lifeless hurt me in a way I could never forget. My nana holding me tight. I have never felt this kind of pain before. I felt hurt. I felt sad. I felt angry. My heart was aching from the breaking of my heart.

I looked around the room, seeing the flowery curtains that hung by the door, the white glossy walls, all the machine’s around the room, the big bed that held my grandpa, the small couch that could only hold two people at a time. As I took a deep breath all I could smell was that so clean smell that hospital’s have that it actually stinks. With all this going on around me, the nurse’s and doctor’s in and out of the room. Somehow, all I could think of was the memories. Everything we did together, all the smiles and laughs I shared with him. He was my best friend. The person I could talk too about anything, and I was losing him.

My family was standing around the room. My nana talking to the doctor’s to figure out what is going on. My mom trying to listen and understand it so she can know too. My sister leaning on my dad as she cries. My aunt watching my grandpa lay there. And me, crying, thinking, alone, trying to hear and see everything else going on. All I could feel was hurt throughout my whole body. All anyone could feel. This hurt my family so much, I have never seen them this hurt. The death of my grandpa affected everyone in a way I could never forget.

Time is passing quickly, minutes turning into hours. The machine that was breathing for my grandpa has now been turned off. We all sit there in silence, as we spend our very last moments with him. These moment may not be with while he’s still here, but we all can’t do anything but be thankful to be with him in these final moments.

“Is he gone yet?”, my sister asked as she no longer hears breathing coming from him. My mother shakes her head “yes”, and hugs my sister tightly. The doctor comes in to call the time of death, checking her watch and saying “18:43”. We all stand there with nothing else swarming the room but tears from our eyes We don’t say anything, just cry.

We leave the hospital, with so many feelings in our bodies. So much anger built up from this, the sadness in our bones that we can’t seem to shake, the anxiety that shivers through our whole body. The silence that surrounds us is unbelievable, not a single word is said between any of us. All we do is walk to the car with our heads down.

Days have passed.

As we gather around and do what people typically do at funerals, mourn over their loved ones body laying in a casket, turning to others with tears on their face as they try to talk, the room filled with nothing but tears and pain; we all can’t help but to think of the fun times with him and think to ourselves that is he no longer here to make any more memories. There’s pictures everywhere around the room, loud voices and pain so loud you can hear it, everyone either standing around and talking or sitting in the beautiful blue old looking chairs. This is the last day we will ever see his body.

The day of the barrial has finally arrived and I knew this part was gonna be the hardest. I knew I had to let go for good, I knew I wouldn’t see him anymore and so did everyone else that was standing around watching this. Tears streamed down my face as the lowered him in the ground, all I could feel was my heart breaking within me. I held onto my mom and dad so tight as they cried with me.

This was the most hardest thing I’ve ever had to watch, and I never wanted too again. I never wanted to feel this pain again, I never wanted my cheeks to burn because I have cried too much. All I could tell myself was he was in a better place, he was no longer in pain. All I could say is he will always have a place in my heart, and he will. He will forever be my best friend, and I will always love and miss him.