I can hear the sound of the children running throughout the house, the screams of happiness fill the crisp air. I sit out on the cold metal of the tractor staring into the night sky. The wind picks up bringing the cool breeze in from the north. The wind howls and brings the smell of the leaves from trees at the edge of the field. I close my eyes and take it all in. The family seems so happy being together but how can anyone be happy now. I’m left alone now, my wife of 45 years died, I used to come out here and just stare at the night sky with her. I wondered if she could still be watching down over all of us right now. The wind picks up and almost blows me off the side of the tractor and I sit up, Out of the corner of my eye, a flash of white catches my glance. I look around I can’t see it in the distance standing still. I slowly get up as the wind screams in the night. The field is in full harvest at this time of year so it’s hard to see anything. I come up to the edge of the field, there is about a ten-foot space between the field and the woods, it’s completely empty, just the trees swaying back and forth in the winds. CRUNCH! There is a crack of a branch that catches my attention. A white hoof steps out of the woods, followed by antlers and a body. An albino deer walks out of the woods looking directly at me. I stop moving, it’s pure white skin shines in the dark night like snow. It’s red eyes stand out of its white face. It looks directly at me. My father used to tell me stories of how when people die they come back as something albino to say goodbye to their loved one, one more time. I start to take a step forward the deer freezes. I take one more step, the deer is staring right at me, slowly I move closer to it, I’m about three feet away from it now. I reach my hand out, “DAD, are you out here?” A scream comes from the Opposite side of the field, I can hear the footsteps getting closer. I turn around and the deer is gone, I look all around, just trees swaying and the emptiness of the dark woods staring back at me. The woods seemed as dark as the night sky. I hear ruffling in the field behind me and as I turn around my son jumps out at me. “Dad, where have you been we have been looking for you forever.”

“I was just out looking at the night sky,” I say.

“Why did you come all the way out to the woods.”

“I saw an albino deer and was just about to pet it but you came out here.”

“Are you sure you aren’t just imagining grandpas stories about albino animals.”

I knew he wouldn’t believe whatever I told him, he is so different than I was at his age. He never believes in anything anymore, we haven't actually talked for a couple years now, he has moved onto his own life. “I swear I saw it out here, I know it’s her,” I say.

“Let’s just get inside, dad, the wind is picking up it’s supposed to snow tonight”

We start walking in together. I look up to the sky, just thinking of all the stars above and thinking about the deer that seemed so friendly. We get back to the house and my grandchildren jump into my arms. All the excitement of the house comes rushing over me, the hustle and bustle of people moving and trying to get the kids to bed. Everyone gathers in the living room, a booming voice sounds over all the kids, “Hey, everyone listen to grandpa for a second.” That was my other son David, he is a big burly man and commands everyone to listen to him. He was both of our favorite. Everyone stared at me as I stand there. “I know this isn’t the reason we want to be down here but mom would have loved seeing you all here, remember we have a big day tomorrow with the funeral so get some rest it’s going to be a tough day,” I say to everyone. All the grandkids start trouncing up the stairs to the spare bedroom. I thank all my children for being here and tell them I'm going to bed. My age is starting to show as I try and get up the stairs the pain is unbearable, I used to have my sweetheart helping me but now I have no one. I make it up the stairs and into my bedroom, it’s all so empty now with no one on the other side of the bed. I get up to go shut the window, as I look out I see snow falling. The white shines brightly in the night sky and reflects in the light in the backyard. At the far edge of the field, something moves, coming closer and closer. The corn stalks move out of the way like they are being commanded to move. Right on the edge of the yard, the white head pokes out, I look down at it from my window, it’s staring straight back at me. I put my hand up to the glass, it’s as cold as ice, but I feel warm, I feel like something has warmed me up inside. The deer moves about 20 feet away. So close I can see every detail of it. The deer rears up on its hind legs, just standing there, almost human-like. I stare in awe, it finally comes down and starts trotting back into the field.  “I love you, honey,” I say softly. The deer disappears into the endless field. I slowly turn around and walk towards my bed, I sit down and think, all the great times we had all the memories we had. Hopefully, I will be able to see her soon. I lay and turn my lamp off, slowly my eyes close, “Goodnight honey,” I say one last time.