Forever longing to grasp the light that lingers above, to hold it in my hand and call it mine. To escape, out of the fiery pit with a name; but then what? They say only angels go to the place where the light meets the sky, and the feeling is there, and there are people, and grass, and trees, and all sorts of things; the things that belong there. As for me, I suppose I don’t really belong anywhere. But, why? Why do I exist? What purpose do I have, rotting away in this eternal pit? Why was I created? To forever guard this tomb they call darkness? TO BOW DOWN BEFORE HIM, OR SHIVER WHEN HIS NAME IS HEARD? So, what? Am I forever dammed to this fiery pit with a name?

If I had wings to fly away, up and up I’d go, up past the sky, and I’d touch the sun, or my wings be made of wax, so that they may melt, and I’ll come crashing back down. The guilt I feel would fade away, and no longer would I have that sickening feeling when I hear her name. In another life, in another time, when I had a name, and a face, and a soul, they called mine; a faint memory, all left behind-.

So, why?  Why can’t I take a single step? The churning despair approaching, louder, and louder, faster, and faster, and I see it. Standing before me. Why, can’t I move? My feet are glued, every inch of my hollow carcass, shallow, and still. So, why? Why didn’t I run? Why didn’t I hide?

I begin to feel it, a sizzling feeling, the feeling of burning from the inside out. I knew this feeling. Of course, I’d felt it before. In a past life perhaps? And suddenly, memories, all the memories, came flooding back, as if I was drowning in all my past regrets.

I tried----I tried, I tried. The tears were streaming down my face,and my voice quivered becoming more shallow with each passing second. I tried to yell her name, but there was no sound. I couldn’t save her.

There are some memories I haven’t forgotten, some that I wish I had, and she was the latter. When I had a name, and a face, and a soul, they called mine. It was HIM who stripped me body and soul, beared my flesh for all to see. And when it was time to be consumed, I disagreed, so I lost, I lost her.

So, as I stand paralyzed, frozen in time, sweat, blood, and tears, streamed down face; my body began to go numb; my fingers, cold to the touch. However--I was ready this time, for HIM to swallow me whole, so that I may never see the light of day. For she was my cage, and HE was the key. And now the cage is open, and I finally knew what it was. I finally knew the name of this feeling, this feeling---- is death...