After a long day of working in that stupid accounting building, I was ready to go home, eat some cereal, and take a long ass nap. I park in my driveway and walk up the steps to my front door. After struggling to get my keys out of my pocket and into the keyhole, I finally opened the door. What I saw next caused me to drop my bag and my coffee.

“What the fu-”

My words were drowned out by the incoherent crying of a large man clad in black pajamas. He had pitch-black hair and blood-red eyes along with small horns protruding from his temples and large black wings folded to his back. My spaz-out of a cat, Joe, was sitting in his lap, purring loudly while the man pet him. I quickly pulled out my phone and began to dial 911. Then I stopped and thought for a moment.

What the hell would I tell the police? “Oh hey, I just came home to a demon looking thing sitting in the middle of my living room petting my cat! Please come save me!” They’d probably think I was on drugs and take me away instead. Yeah, no thanks.

I called my best friend instead.

“Dude, I’m not even kidding you right now. I can’t believe you don’t hear it’s yelling and crying. It’s literally almost deafening at this point.”

……..

“I’ll send you a picture for proof, then.”

I put her on speaker and went to my camera. Looking at the screen, all I saw was an empty space where the crying demon was sitting. I moved my phone and there he was, still in the same spot. Confused and a bit peeved, I told my friend what was happening. She laughed and told me I was crazy before hanging up.

I took that moment to assess the situation. The demon was crying quite loudly and his eyes didn’t seem focused. Upon further inspection, I saw bandages wrapped around his jaw and came to a realization. This dude just had his wisdom teeth pulled, didn’t he? 

“Uh, hey? Buddy? I see you’ve got those nice bandages on your face...did you get some teeth pulled today?”

He stopped crying for a moment, still petting Joe, and looked at me, nodding. 

“Okay. Well, how about I get you some Aspirin, water, and an ice pack? Yeah?”

“Mhm. Please.” He whimpered out. To me, his voice sounded like that of a child.

I made my way around him to the kitchen and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. Then I filled a cup of water and set both items on the coffee table next to the demon. I quickly went upstairs to the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of Aspirin from the mirror cabinet. I went back downstairs and gave the bottle to him before sitting down on the far end of my sofa.

“Uh, so, open the bottle and take like, four of those with the water and then keep the ice pack on your jaw until it starts to feel better. Okay?”

He nodded and opened the bottle before downing all the pills inside of it, washing them down with the water.

“God dang dude! You’re gonna freakin’ overdose on those damn pills!”

He shook his head and came out of whatever daze he had been in.

“Nah, it’s fine. I take full bottles all the time. Besides, I’m a demon. It’s not like it’ll kill me. Also, thanks for the ice pack. My jaw is in so much pain. It’s not even funny.” Now, his voice was gruff, yet elegant, in a way. That’s the only way to describe it, I think.

“Oh, trust me. I know the feeling, man. So, how’d you get in my house, exactly?”

“Um, I must’ve teleported in here by accident when I was loopy. I guess I never noticed, so I didn’t leave. Sorry if I scared you. Also, your cat is quite lovely.”

“Scared is an understatement. But, it’s cool man. So, how much longer you need to stay? And his name is Joe.”

“Oh, not long. I just need to lose the rest of the loopy effect and then I can poof right outta here. Joe, huh? He doesn’t seem to like that name. Do you, little guy?”

Joe purred loudly and nudged the demon’s hand. I took that as him agreeing.

“He would like to be called Gerard from now on. If you wouldn't mind. Gerard, King of Catnip…?”

“Okay uh, Gerard it is. So, um...wanna watch the game with me? I’ve got popcorn and soda to snack on, too. If your teeth can take it, that is.”

“I’ll pass on the food and drink, but watching the game sounds good.”

I turned the TV onto the football game right as it was starting. We watched and yelled and cussed out the opposing team until the game ended, our team coming out victorious. Then, the demon got up to leave, setting Joe… no, Gerard down on the couch.

“It was lovely staying here for a few. Thank you for having me, but I must return to my duties now.”

“Okay. Yeah, this was fun. Oh, I’m Ronan, by the way.”

The demon turned and tipped his head towards me,

“Pleasure to have met you, Ronan. The name’s Lucifer.”

And then away he poofed, leaving me standing with my mouth agape, staring at the spot the Lord of Hell had just been standing.