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September 26, 2009
By LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
More by this author
LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
90% of my happiness is coming from my pants. <br /> <br /> Alright, alright, sorry, inside joke. Okay how about: &quot;If you give a man a fire, he&#039;ll be warm for a day; if you set a man on fire, he&#039;ll be warm for the rest of his life.&quot; -Terry Pratchett.

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[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]



RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.



NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.



ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.



LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:



ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.



RYAN: Not even a gay baby!



LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!



ELLY: Gay babies are our future.



NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!



LAURA: That's not actually true.



RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.



NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)



[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]



ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?



LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?



[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]

© David K., Birkenhead, UK

The author's comments:
A two-min-or-less screenplay. Feel free to use, just credit me as the author in the credits, and let me know if you intend to film it!
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This article has 68 comments.

Boppsta BRONZE said...
on Jun. 18 2010 at 12:54 pm
Boppsta BRONZE, Wantagh, New York
2 articles 2 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;d rather be 9 people&#039;s favorite thing than a hundred people&#039;s ninth favorite thing.&quot; - [title of show]

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SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your stuff is awesome!!!!!!!!!!

poetry_addict said...
on Jun. 13 2010 at 5:57 pm
hysterical!!!!
musiclover123 said...
on Jun. 13 2010 at 2:06 pm
musiclover123, ., Other
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony. &lt;3

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HAHAHAHA i SO agree with darkvisions EVEN THO IM A TWILIGHTER i LOVED LOVED LOVED your *movie* and this is ALSO PURE GENIOUS!!!!=)=)=)
We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2010 at 9:18 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.<br /> <br /> Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn&#039;t have any rings

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LOL NO WAIT ROFL NO WAIT DOF Died of laughter, My parents are suing
forgottenpenname GOLD said...
on May. 25 2010 at 4:32 pm
forgottenpenname GOLD, Troy, Michigan
12 articles 0 photos 147 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Carpe diem.&quot;

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That was amazing! XD
darkvisions said...
on May. 25 2010 at 3:49 pm
darkvisions, White Plains, New York
0 articles 0 photos 21 comments
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aaaaaa after reading this, and your sooooo accurate remake of Twilight, I've totally confirmed it...you are a GENIUS!!! XD
xenon333 PLATINUM said...
on May. 22 2010 at 6:19 pm
xenon333 PLATINUM, Billerica, Massachusetts
42 articles 0 photos 150 comments
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!
BlueInk94 PLATINUM said...
on May. 13 2010 at 5:13 pm
BlueInk94 PLATINUM, Valley Park, Missouri
30 articles 0 photos 75 comments
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THIS IS SOOO FUNNY!
seapenguin said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 8:00 pm
seapenguin, Healdsburg, California
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;m a super hero, but with no powers or motivation.

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Idk, but I think you should probably be a script writer on SNL. Fo reeeeeelz.
Rowan GOLD said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 11:37 am
Rowan GOLD, Roseville, Minnesota
16 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
A Person&#039;s A Person, No Matter How Small<br /> Dr. Suess

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this is really funny. have you ever actually filmed these? do more, i love spoofs!
MarielAntoinette BRONZE said...
on Apr. 25 2010 at 7:47 pm
MarielAntoinette BRONZE, Charlottesville, Virginia
3 articles 2 photos 20 comments
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YOOOUUUU are funny. Quick, taut, nice random flickhere-flickthere wordplay is what is UP.

Please put up more scripts. I know you have them.

thatclarinetgirl said...
on Apr. 9 2010 at 1:26 pm
Your really good at writing scripts. Keep writing!
Sarbear GOLD said...
on Mar. 31 2010 at 7:46 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you&#039;re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.<br /> --When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people&#039;s eyes.

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you do need your own show!! full of funny skits--lol. great job once again!!! lmao
mkgirl395 GOLD said...
on Mar. 20 2010 at 2:43 pm
mkgirl395 GOLD, Coppell, Texas
10 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;My friend, let&#039;s not think of tomorrow, but let&#039;s enjoy this fleeting moment of life.&quot; <br /> -Omar Kyyam

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Your name up in big lights... "The Lucy M. Show!"

Everyone laughing at your plays...

You've got it. Don't forget it.
JeanGrey GOLD said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 2:59 pm
JeanGrey GOLD, Mason City, Iowa
10 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I am so clever that sometimes I don&#039;t understand a single word of what I am saying.&quot;-Oscar Wilde

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Oh that was just HILARIOUS! I deem you future comedic writer!

*takes out the "deem stick" and formally pokes you with it*

Huzzah!
SpecialK BRONZE said...
on Mar. 6 2010 at 2:39 pm
SpecialK BRONZE, Titusville, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don&#039;t tell me the sky&#039;s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

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(Unable to post a decent comment because she is laughing to hard)
musiclover114 SILVER said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 7:37 pm
musiclover114 SILVER, Woodstock, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn&#039;t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.<br /> <br /> born an original, why die a copy?

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i read ur other article and loved it!!!!!! u r unbelievably hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!
K.H.P. BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 3:57 pm
K.H.P. BRONZE, Talala, Oklahoma
4 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What are you?&quot; -- &#039;Agile! Mobile! Hostile!&#039;<br /> &quot;What is pain?&quot; -- &#039;French bread!&#039;<br /> &quot;What is fatigue?&quot; -- &#039;Army clothes!&#039;<br /> &quot;WILL YOU EVER QUIT?!&quot; -- &#039;NO! We want some mo&#039;! We want some mo&#039;!&#039;<br /> -Remember the Titans

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Very nice!!
AmnyR BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 5:57 am
AmnyR BRONZE, Clifton, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 134 comments

Favorite Quote:
To the world, you may be just one person, but to one person, you may be the whole world. ~unknown

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this is so unbeleivably funny!!! ha ha i thought it was hilarious!!!
RiotRave SILVER said...
on Feb. 18 2010 at 4:44 pm
RiotRave SILVER, Earlimart, California
7 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What the frick?!!&quot;<br /> &quot;That&#039;s what she said&quot;

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OH MAN!! This is seriously hilarious!! I can picture the dude tossing the cat. Goodness... You MUST go into the film industry.