Disclaimer | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Fiction
  3. Disclaimer

Disclaimer

September 26, 2009
By LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
More by this author
LucyM BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
90% of my happiness is coming from my pants. <br /> <br /> Alright, alright, sorry, inside joke. Okay how about: &quot;If you give a man a fire, he&#039;ll be warm for a day; if you set a man on fire, he&#039;ll be warm for the rest of his life.&quot; -Terry Pratchett.

View profile

[Note: Between every line, the camera cuts to a different person. Two people are not in the same shot at the same time unless otherwise specified. These shots alternate between WS, MS, and MCU, at the director's digression.]



RYAN: (steps up to frame)Ryan here, star of Action-Tastic 3: Revenge of the baby puncher; I'd like to assure you that no babies were harmed in the making of this film.



NATE: (Brandishing a baby doll) See? It's fake.



ELLY: Punching real babies is a crime.



LAURA: So we at Really Cheesy Productions would like to remind you:



ALL IN UNISON: Never ever punch a baby.



RYAN: Not even a gay baby!



LAURA: Especially not a gay baby!



ELLY: Gay babies are our future.



NATE: They have an evil plot to overthrow us all!



LAURA: That's not actually true.



RYAN: When you feel like directing your anger at a baby, take a deep breath and direct it at cute little animals instead.



NATE: Like this cat! (Nate is holding a cat)



[Cat is flung violently over LAURA and ELLY's horrified heads.]



ELLY: Um, no cats were harmed in the making of this feature?



LAURA:...yeah. It's gonna be okay, right?



[Technical Difficulty bars flash onto screen.]

© David K., Birkenhead, UK

The author's comments:
A two-min-or-less screenplay. Feel free to use, just credit me as the author in the credits, and let me know if you intend to film it!
Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Fiction
Zaid's Adventure
By Anonymous
Fiction
Emilee Sat at Her Desk...
By Anonymous
Fiction
Lollipop
By Anonymous
Fiction
Music Is No Religion
By Anonymous
Fiction
Winter's Spring
By Anonymous
Fiction
Thunder
By Anonymous

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 68 comments.

Boppsta BRONZE said...
on Jun. 18 2010 at 12:54 pm
Boppsta BRONZE, Wantagh, New York
2 articles 2 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;d rather be 9 people&#039;s favorite thing than a hundred people&#039;s ninth favorite thing.&quot; - [title of show]

View profile

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your stuff is awesome!!!!!!!!!!

poetry_addict said...
on Jun. 13 2010 at 5:57 pm
hysterical!!!!
musiclover123 said...
on Jun. 13 2010 at 2:06 pm
musiclover123, ., Other
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony. &lt;3

View profile
HAHAHAHA i SO agree with darkvisions EVEN THO IM A TWILIGHTER i LOVED LOVED LOVED your *movie* and this is ALSO PURE GENIOUS!!!!=)=)=)
We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2010 at 9:18 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.<br /> <br /> Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn&#039;t have any rings

View profile
LOL NO WAIT ROFL NO WAIT DOF Died of laughter, My parents are suing
forgottenpenname GOLD said...
on May. 25 2010 at 4:32 pm
forgottenpenname GOLD, Troy, Michigan
12 articles 0 photos 147 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Carpe diem.&quot;

View profile
That was amazing! XD
darkvisions said...
on May. 25 2010 at 3:49 pm
darkvisions, White Plains, New York
0 articles 0 photos 21 comments
View profile
aaaaaa after reading this, and your sooooo accurate remake of Twilight, I've totally confirmed it...you are a GENIUS!!! XD
xenon333 PLATINUM said...
on May. 22 2010 at 6:19 pm
xenon333 PLATINUM, Billerica, Massachusetts
42 articles 0 photos 150 comments
View profile
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!
BlueInk94 PLATINUM said...
on May. 13 2010 at 5:13 pm
BlueInk94 PLATINUM, Valley Park, Missouri
30 articles 0 photos 75 comments
View profile
THIS IS SOOO FUNNY!
seapenguin said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 8:00 pm
seapenguin, Healdsburg, California
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;m a super hero, but with no powers or motivation.

View profile
Idk, but I think you should probably be a script writer on SNL. Fo reeeeeelz.
Rowan GOLD said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 11:37 am
Rowan GOLD, Roseville, Minnesota
16 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
A Person&#039;s A Person, No Matter How Small<br /> Dr. Suess

View profile
this is really funny. have you ever actually filmed these? do more, i love spoofs!
MarielAntoinette BRONZE said...
on Apr. 25 2010 at 7:47 pm
MarielAntoinette BRONZE, Charlottesville, Virginia
3 articles 2 photos 20 comments
View profile

YOOOUUUU are funny. Quick, taut, nice random flickhere-flickthere wordplay is what is UP.

Please put up more scripts. I know you have them.

thatclarinetgirl said...
on Apr. 9 2010 at 1:26 pm
Your really good at writing scripts. Keep writing!
Sarbear GOLD said...
on Mar. 31 2010 at 7:46 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you&#039;re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.<br /> --When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people&#039;s eyes.

View profile
you do need your own show!! full of funny skits--lol. great job once again!!! lmao
mkgirl395 GOLD said...
on Mar. 20 2010 at 2:43 pm
mkgirl395 GOLD, Coppell, Texas
10 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;My friend, let&#039;s not think of tomorrow, but let&#039;s enjoy this fleeting moment of life.&quot; <br /> -Omar Kyyam

View profile
Your name up in big lights... "The Lucy M. Show!"

Everyone laughing at your plays...

You've got it. Don't forget it.
JeanGrey GOLD said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 2:59 pm
JeanGrey GOLD, Mason City, Iowa
10 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I am so clever that sometimes I don&#039;t understand a single word of what I am saying.&quot;-Oscar Wilde

View profile
Oh that was just HILARIOUS! I deem you future comedic writer!

*takes out the "deem stick" and formally pokes you with it*

Huzzah!
SpecialK BRONZE said...
on Mar. 6 2010 at 2:39 pm
SpecialK BRONZE, Titusville, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don&#039;t tell me the sky&#039;s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

View profile
(Unable to post a decent comment because she is laughing to hard)
musiclover114 SILVER said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 7:37 pm
musiclover114 SILVER, Woodstock, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn&#039;t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.<br /> <br /> born an original, why die a copy?

View profile
i read ur other article and loved it!!!!!! u r unbelievably hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!
K.H.P. BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 3:57 pm
K.H.P. BRONZE, Talala, Oklahoma
4 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What are you?&quot; -- &#039;Agile! Mobile! Hostile!&#039;<br /> &quot;What is pain?&quot; -- &#039;French bread!&#039;<br /> &quot;What is fatigue?&quot; -- &#039;Army clothes!&#039;<br /> &quot;WILL YOU EVER QUIT?!&quot; -- &#039;NO! We want some mo&#039;! We want some mo&#039;!&#039;<br /> -Remember the Titans

View profile
Very nice!!
AmnyR BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 5:57 am
AmnyR BRONZE, Clifton, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 134 comments

Favorite Quote:
To the world, you may be just one person, but to one person, you may be the whole world. ~unknown

View profile
this is so unbeleivably funny!!! ha ha i thought it was hilarious!!!
RiotRave SILVER said...
on Feb. 18 2010 at 4:44 pm
RiotRave SILVER, Earlimart, California
7 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What the frick?!!&quot;<br /> &quot;That&#039;s what she said&quot;

View profile
OH MAN!! This is seriously hilarious!! I can picture the dude tossing the cat. Goodness... You MUST go into the film industry.