Long ago in an imaginary kingdom that didn’t exist, the letter Y was tried in court for crime against his majesty, King Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. It was the day of Yesterday’s today, the 24th tarotirday in the month of Alisaja when M, the undercover spy walked into the court room.
M
-Y. Did you or did you not rob from the bank of vowels?
Y
-No sir
M
-Sure you did. And while you were at it, you betrayed your loyal vowel-mate: U.
Y
-I didn’t do that sir. It was I. I told me to tell U to take the day off.
M
-Was it not you then that caused it?
Y
-No, it was I
M
-Is I not you?
Y
-No. I is I. I am Y.
M
-But you were there.
Y
-U was not. He left when I told him to.
M
-Did you not just say that you did it. Not I?
Y
-U said nothing. I did do it.
M
-Wait… I’m confused. Did you just say it was you?
Y
-No! U left! It was I!
M
-You? It was you?
Y
-No. It was I. Stop blaming U. He did nothing.
M
-Y-O-U. You!
Y
-Why are you bringing O into this? He was on sick leave!
M
-No, not O.
Y
-Then why did you say it?
M
-Why?
Y
-I’m still here. I didn’t just leave.
M
-What did I do then?
Y
-What? No. You asked “Y?” as in am I still here.
M
-No. I asked “why?” as in why did you do it?
Y
-He didn’t!
M
-Okay. Let me rephrase that. Why did Y do it?
Y
-Don’t talk about me in third person. I’m right here. I can hear you.
M
-What? Is I in the court?
Y
- No. I as in me!
M
-Me left yesterday! What are you talking about?
Y
-U isn’t talking. It’s me.


And it went on and on and eventually, the charges against Y were dropped.