On the Top | Teen Ink

On the Top MAG

June 27, 2008
By Aliza Gans BRONZE, Woodbridge, Connecticut
Aliza Gans BRONZE, Woodbridge, Connecticut
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The man with the raisined face and a blue glass eye straps us into the seats and we’re off, circling around the flashing spokes of the Ferris wheel. It’s early September, and it feels like what Howie calls “naked weather” – you can take all your clothes off and feel just fine.

It’s speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down as the glass-eyed man loads more boyfriends and girlfriends, parents and children, and boys carrying overstuffed teddy bears into the cold, metal cars. Howie’s wearing those tattered Birkenstock clogs that I hate. He keeps saying he’s going to drop them on one of the cars below us. When we’re slowing down, Howie wriggles his toes like squirming cocktail hot dogs so the shoe balances on the tip of his foot. He laughs and then slinks the clog back on.

“Your expression is priceless,” he tells me.

“I can make that same expression without you bugging the crap out of me,” I tell him, slinking toward the other side of the seat where the metal is cold.

There’s something smeared on Howie’s cheek. It’s probably a splash of marinara sauce from the meatball grinders we ate earlier. I want to tell him to wipe the tomato scab off his cheek, but then I’d have to play “hot, cold” the food-on-face edition. Where is it? To the left … no, more. Did I get it? No, it’s still there. I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand to see if Howie failed to notice any grinder sauce spots on my face. My hand wipes off clean.

The newlyweds in the car below ours argue about putting their collie to sleep. She’s been in doggie hospice for over a week. And three cars up, a four-year-old and his older brother are having a belching contest. Yours is louder, but mine smells worse … like onion rings.

A girl with skimpy shorts and her boyfriend with long, greasy hair are making out in the car above us. I look up to see a tangle of stringy hair and stringy legs kicking in air. The leggy girl’s bra strap snaps, and she giggles. I decide to close my eyes.

I spread my arms in front of Howie like a bird dipping and rising through warm air. The wheel stops rising. Howie smiles in my ear and whispers: “We’re on the top,” so I open my eyes. Below us, the white-capped tents leak sweet-smelling steam. The carnival scene looks like an exaggeration of the sky above us. Lots of flashing, twinkling, shooting, and spinning.

Howie reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights one.

“Where did you get those? You don’t smoke.”

“I do at a time like this.”

Howie takes a drag, and the ashes dance from the glowing tip like gray confetti. I cough. He finishes it and flicks it over the edge of the car. I wait for the shriek of a burn victim or the smell of singed hair.

The wind blows away the tobacco-laced air. I’m watching a flock of migrating geese honk southward until they disappear into dark sky. Howie starts to rock the car. I’m so scared that I scream, holding onto the sides. Howie is laughing wildly and making a great time out of it, but I feel as if these steel bars will split and I’ll plunge to the ground like a kamikaze pilot.

“Cut it out! We’re not on the Zipper. We can fall right out!”

“This is fun,” he laughs. “Katie loved this.”

I look at him hard.

“Oh, Jesus, Jenna. I’m sorry,” he whimpers.

“Don’t say anything. You’re just stupid … stupid as a clam ….”

“Really, Jenna, you just have to lighten up a little sometimes, that’s all.”

“… and you have a big-a** splotch of marinara on your face. Why can’t you eat right, Howie? Didn’t your mother teach you anything?”

I reach over and scratch the spot of sauce off his face. It looks cleaner now, but raw and fresh. Watery red rushes to fill its place.

“Christ, Jenna! That’s a scab!”

“I’m sorry. I thought it was from the grinder ….”

“I cut myself shaving with my grandpa’s old razor this morning. Now I’m bleeding again.”

I wipe off the blood with my finger and stick it in my mouth.

“Taste any good?” Howie asks. I shrug.

“It tastes like metal.”

It’s a safe, solid flavor. Now, I have a part of him and he doesn’t have a part of me. The spokes start to rotate again, and even though we’re not on the top anymore, the swinging car has slowed down to swaying, and I feel like a baby being rocked to sleep.



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This article has 13 comments.


on Mar. 28 2010 at 9:41 pm
Charlotte_Bukowski SILVER, Austin, Texas
6 articles 2 photos 4 comments

I love that things are left ambiguous to the human imagination, and all we get is a piece mealed little moment of Jenna and Howie's lives in a Ferris wheel car. Very simple, but very brilliant. 

P.S. You're my favorite author on TeenInk so far. And I'm very, very picky.


Bex24 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 3 2010 at 5:27 pm
Bex24 BRONZE, Toronto, Other
3 articles 21 photos 79 comments
Loved this! The style is so effortless and fresh. Your descriptions are perfect - enough to make us feel the atmosphere but not overbearing. Also, your dialogue is FANTASTIC. Not many can create realistic dialogue like that. Amazing job!

on Jul. 6 2009 at 1:59 am
Hay_Wire PLATINUM, Independence, Missouri
42 articles 0 photos 219 comments
id say thats one of the best things ive read on this site. and as to other comments, writing doesnt have to have a point ,although for me, this speaks loud and clear. i love it.

on Jul. 2 2009 at 8:49 pm
Xinwen PLATINUM, Brossard, Other
44 articles 0 photos 25 comments
Very nice snapshot of a real life situation. Great capture of personality, and I like your style.



Nice work.

on Jun. 28 2009 at 1:05 am
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

Very awesome!

lesliee said...
on Jun. 27 2009 at 6:19 pm
lesliee, Tampa, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I love the references and illusions you make. Such a unique idea. Is this part of a bigger story?

bookaddict said...
on Jun. 17 2009 at 10:54 pm
I like it alot, but i'm confused, the confusion between katie and jenna...? Was she a past girl friend or what, but over all it's nice...

on Jun. 15 2009 at 9:49 pm
Elle Thompson BRONZE, Livonia, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 39 comments
i dont get the point. can you clear this up for me?

Ryan M. said...
on May. 29 2009 at 7:55 pm
GREAT

ahhhhh said...
on May. 19 2009 at 12:42 am
ahhhhh, Los Angeles, California
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i really like this!

its awesome lol

on May. 12 2009 at 5:09 pm
Rose Wolf SILVER, Boise, Idaho
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments
very good!

Band-aid said...
on Aug. 12 2008 at 9:01 pm
I approve of this.

Sarah G. said...
on Aug. 11 2008 at 1:53 am
A great short story, witty, real, and very personable. You captured the characters' personalities very well in a short passage.