Eternal | Teen Ink

Eternal

January 16, 2013
By Def_Leppard_fan120 SILVER, Lake Lorane, Florida
Def_Leppard_fan120 SILVER, Lake Lorane, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you want your dreams to come true, Make them come true. If you want to win, Make it a win. <br /> The only one that is stopping you from accomplish your dreams is YOU.


“Jarrod……..tell…...my little girl….happy…..birthday for me” said David. Those were his last words before the bullet pierced his skull. Jarrod and his brother David were both prisoners of war. It was July 26, 1916. Justin and David were captured by the Japanese. Jarrod and David woke up in a dark room tied to a chair. Out from the darkness came two Japanese soldiers.
“Okay Americans tell us what we want to know and we will let you go” said one of the Japanese soldiers.
“If you fail to cooperate then we will kill you” said the other Japanese soldier. He points his gun to Jarrod. “What are the Americans planning?”
“I am not telling you anything” said Jarrod. Jarrod kicks one of the soldiers in the shin. One of the Japanese soldiers punches him.
“Tell us what the Americans are planning” said the Japanese soldiers.
“NO” yelled Jarrod. One of the soldiers shot Jarrod in the shoulder. Jarrod screams in pain.
“TALK OR THE NEXT BULLET GOES IN YOUR HEAD” screamed one of the soldiers.
The soldiers turned to David. “Maybe you’ll talk” said one of the soldiers. They put their gun on David’s head. “Talk American or die”
“No” said David. David escapes and starts to fight the soldiers. David grabs one of the soldiers and uses him as a shield. The soldier broke free a knocked David on the floor. David quickly sprung to his knees until BANG! David was shot in his kneecap. BANG! David was shot in both of his kneecaps. As David laid there on his knees he turned to Jarrod. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! David was shot four times in the chest. David looks at Jarrod. “Jarrod……..tell…..my little girl….happy…..birthday for me” said David. Then one of the soldiers went up to David and shot him one more time in the head.
Jarrod was struggling to escape. The soldiers pointed their gun at him. “Unless you want to be like that man then you stay where you are” said the soldier.
They carried Jarrod to a cell. Jarrod knew he had to escape. Jarrod couldn’t help but blame himself for David’s death. Jarrod knew this eternal pain will never go away. He knew that his little brother died to help them escape. He knew he had to escape. BOOM! BOOM! Jarrod heard explosions from outside. He looked out the window and saw that the base was being attacked. An explosion knocked down the cell wall. Jarrod took that as an opportunity and ran.
Jarrod escaped from the base. Jarrod is going home. He remembered the promise he made his brother. “I am David’s brother Jarrod. I’m afraid I have some bad news.”
As Jarrod told them what happened. He couldn’t help but feel the eternal pain of losing his brother. When he told David’s wife and daughter what happened he couldn’t help but cry. Jarrod turned to David’s daughter. “Are you Jessica? Your daddy told me to tell you happy birthday.”


The author's comments:
This is my first drama. Leave a comment on how I did.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Aug. 12 2014 at 10:24 pm
Def_Leppard_fan120 SILVER, Lake Lorane, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you want your dreams to come true, Make them come true. If you want to win, Make it a win. <br /> The only one that is stopping you from accomplish your dreams is YOU.

Yeah reading it now i realized it wasn't my best work. Thanks for the advice i'll try to rewrite it and publish it soon

Thalion SILVER said...
on Mar. 12 2014 at 11:19 am
Thalion SILVER, Peoria, Illinois
9 articles 3 photos 53 comments
Intresting... not the best storyline. You need to be careful switching between past and present tense. And repetition. I liked the first line, but you have it twice. Also, the ending could have been drawn out more, to explain a little more what happened. I did like how you tied the begining and conclusion together, though!