Everything had been planned, right down to the last curl on the flower girl's bouncy hair, but yet Mom and Grandma were running around checking everything twice, no three, no five times just to be sure that everything was just the way it should be. Not everything was my complete decision, but it was the planning and the dreaming that made them happy so I had left them to it and never told them reason it had to be so soon. This was supposed to be a stress free morning and yet, my stomach was tied up in a knot too tight to unwind and my hands are shaking as I attempted to smear a little black over my baby lashes. I was only a baby and this was insane. I loved him but I wasn’t ready. My sister glides in with her little teal dress with the most understanding of smiles. She just sits down and takes the mascara and does it for me. She knows, and she is the only one who knows. Would I always be that little kid her, screwing everything up and having her come along and make it better? After she finishes, she simply turns us toward the mirror, kisses my cheek smiling, and leaves me to look at myself. Yeah, just a baby still covered up by the mask of makeup to make me look like I belong right here and now. I wonder what he is thinking right now, how scared he might be. My daddy smiled and shook his hand when he asked for my hand even though he didn’t know the whole story yet at all. We were lucky up until then, you know. Riding on a cloud of brilliant silver until the sun broke through and we were left tumbling fast down into reality. I was nervous for more than one reason. I didn’t want everybody staring and me and maybe, just maybe noticing what I worked so hard to conceal. I didn’t want to screw this up like I did with everything before. And so I just sat there staring into baby eyes looking back at me with such fear. She came back in through the door with the sun streaming through her blonde hair and she is just smiling, smiling when she takes my hand to lead me out to face the world. My daddy took my arm and beamed at his little girl. This was the last time he will hold me as his own and yet, he didn’t know I had already given myself to another man. He looks so proud and it just kills me. I walked so slowly time seems to melt. It’s him, he is waiting for me just smiling like he did when I fist met him. I loved him and he loved you. That is how we made it work.