Obituary of the Planet Earth | Teen Ink

Obituary of the Planet Earth

May 12, 2013
By Carrington Kirstein BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
Carrington Kirstein BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

After a brief illness, Planet Earth died at the age of 4.54 billion years. She suffered from a high fever. In her lifetime, the Earth became known for many fabulous things including her volcanoes, deserts, forests and lakes. She had a lot to be proud of. Earth’s accomplishments included the Grand Canyon, Mount Everest and the Great Barrier Reef. Unfortunately, these landmarks began to vanish as the temperature of the Earth continued to escalate. The snow on Mount Everest began to melt, and fish and plant species died in the Great Barrier Reef because of desalination and warming waters.

When the Earth was younger, she was never fully healthy for long periods of time. For example, the Earth was sick during the Ice Age multiple times throughout her life. Also, Earth suffered a severe infection after she was cut up from a meteor. However, this was when the Earth was young and strong. The Earth’s immune system grew weaker as she got older and was not tough enough to survive the high fever.
Earth is most famous for its hospitality and giving life to millions of plant and animal species, including humans. Unfortunately, the enormous weight of about seven and a half billion people became too much for Earth to handle. Planet Earth tried to accommodate humans and did not say anything as raw materials and non-renewable resources were used up, temperatures rose, trees were cut down, and her air and water poisoned by increasing levels of pollution. This treatment of the Earth began in the 1750’s, a time called the Industrial Revolution. It is unfortunate that the Earth did not take any antibiotics to try and stop this Industrial Revolution disease from spreading.
Trampled and dumped on by her very own inhabitants, Earth became very weak in her later years. She was diagnosed with global warming. This disease disrupted the balance of Earth’s environment, causing large scale destruction and unfortunately, eventual death.

Doctors are planning on doing a biopsy on Earth to find out whether this global warming disease was passed down through her DNA (a natural occurrence) or an event caused by outside influences, Earth’s inhabitants. Even though the biopsy has not been completed, the scientific evidence gathered so far suggests that the death of the Earth was caused by outside influences.
Please share your condolences with Earth’s family and relatives also found in our solar system. Funeral arrangements are pending.



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