Sometimes it rains and sometimes it pours. The lowliest of men has seen better days. Whenever I hope that I will be found, my heart begins to pound furiously with joy and then consciousness comes into play. The evil depression that brings the heart to a complete stop amidst its courageous triumph is something that psychologists will never be able to cure. The feeling that no one knows who I am nor cares whether I die is the most humbling idea that has ever entered into my head. However, it is also my greatest motivation. I have been alone for so long in this God-forsaken land that I can’t help but notice that I have become delusional. I have conversations with myself and it is very difficult to stop him from winning the argument. I wonder what it would be like to be home with my kids and wife and see their kind smiling faces. Then I remind myself that I chose this life. One decision is all it takes to destroy a happy family.
Mosquitoes constantly buzz around picking and biting my flesh. I have become used to the itching and find the creatures my only true companions. I have yet to take the life of any of these beautiful friends and wish that they would linger around a little longer. The cave that I live in is cold but does have some pleasing attributes. Its smooth stones and unique carvings constantly entertain me. Every day I seem to find something new in these pictures and sketches. When I stare at the pictures, sometimes they move, and out of nowhere, a different variation to a sketch is revealed! The sketches were probably made thousands of years ago by some unknown tribe of natives. I can imagine myself living in their time, constantly searching for plants and seeds that will sustain not only me, but also the rest of the village. A feeling of contempt invades me knowing that I am the only one who has seen these beautiful works of art.
Life alone can be very satisfying. I do not need to put forth the energy to satisfy others, I can simply satisfy my own needs and not worry about anyone else. The married life was so stressful. My parents were not there to give me advice and I couldn’t stand the reemerging fear that my wife never loved me. I had to run away. My old life was boring, my job miserable, my kids unappreciative, my wife, unfaithful. My life has been a series of…wait, what was that? I heard a noise coming closer to the front of the cave. But who could have found me? A feeling of despair raced to my chest. I don’t want to return to the normal life!
A man stepped into the entrance holding a tray with a plate full of food. “Here’s your lunch, Will,” stated the stranger. The man dropped the plate and slid it towards my foot. “Stop! Please don’t hurt me,” I shouted. “When are you going to realize that I see you every day,” mused the intruder. I did not know the man nor have I ever seen him before. One thing is certain I will never let him find me again. The stranger left the entrance of the cave and after his shift was over, walked out of the asylum and drove home to his family.