Recipe for the Worst Birthday Ever | Teen Ink

Recipe for the Worst Birthday Ever

January 6, 2016
By dramanathan98 GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
dramanathan98 GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Ingredients:

1 acre of forgetful family
1 mound of forgetful friends
1-4 flat car tires
A bucket of sleet
A pocketful of tardiness
6 whispers of gossiping “frenemies”
A dash of forgotten lunch
A truckload of quizzes and tests
A vial of forgetting the front door key
A valley of loneliness
8 droplets of arguing parents
An ocean of tears
A lifetime of disappointment (optional)

 

Directions:

1.) In a large saucepan, combine an acre of forgetful family with a mound of forgetful friends. Turn on the heat and warm the mixture.


2.) Next, add in 1-4 flat car tires, to taste. Combine completely.

 

3.) Dump a bucket of sleet into the saucepan, along with a pocketful of tardiness. Bring slowly to a simmer.


4.) In a separate bowl, combine 6 whispers of gossiping “frenemies”, a dash of forgotten lunch, and a truckload of quizzes and tests. Add it to the sauce slowly while stirring. Turn up the heat.


5.) Toss in a vial of forgetting the front door key. Then, fill the saucepan with a valley of loneliness. Taste the sauce to ensure that loneliness has overpowered every other flavor. Allow the liquid to begin boiling.


6.) Add in 8 droplets of arguing parents. The sauce should now be at a rolling boil.

 

7.) Flood the saucepan with an ocean of tears just as it begins to overflow. This will cool it down immediately.

 

8.) Best when served alongside a lifetime of disappointment.



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