“Its all a false image” my mom would say. But how, even though I tried eating less and wearing more makeup, things did not change. I started working out more but all I could hear was a voice inside my head saying “You’re fat and ugly, stop trying.” I cried myself to sleep, I vomited even when I had nothing left, I screamed and hated other people. How come they are prettier, why can’t I be like them, when is this horror going to stop? Why is this happening to me, why can’t someone just love me and tell me how pretty I am. It drives me insane to see people’s beautiful eyes, and golden hair, perfect honey hair. But here I am, with my dark tallowy hair, and my dark circles because I can never sleep, my brain just keeps going and going comparing myself to those other perfect girls. How can I make people notice me? When am I going to have the opportunity to be pretty, to be happy and to feel loved. Why is it that everywhere I go I have to look down or look way up so that nobody sees my dark circles. Why is it that everywhere I go people look at me. Every time I look in the mirror I cry, I scream, I hit myself, I want to die, nobody will notice anyway. There are thousands of girls that are prettier, funnier, happier, why would anybody choose me. I’m just a psycho ugly girl who has nothing but an ugly mind and who people think only bad things about. The problem is not just my brain and my ego, and what other people say about me as well. Why do other people think that I am just a girl seeking for attention, that I am just a freak that doesn’t want anything to do with anybody. It hurts, life hurts, I just want to get out of here. When will it be my time, when will I be able to be in peace. I have dreams you know, I want to be a model, I want to be loved, I want people to notice me and want to be around me, but it is never my chance. There is always someone better. I am sick and tired of being replaced. Whenever I see a person I can hear what they are thinking, sometimes I want to scream at them or just do something to make them love me. It hurts, love hurts ,life hurts. I am not strong enough to deal with all of this, I am not good enough for anyone, I am not smart enough, I am not skinny enough, I am not curvy enough. Nothing that I do is enough, so why do I even exist? It’s my time to go, the only thing that I do here is suffer and hurt others as well as myself. I am tired of not being the person that I want to be, I am tired of hearing things about me all day, things such as someone’s prettier, someone’s skinnier, someone’s better in everything you do. So you know what? I’m leaving, and don’t get yourself wrong  because I’m leaving and I’m never coming back.