I woke up with a start. This was not my bed. This was not my room. This was not my house. Standing up, I felt as if I had aged fifty years overnight. Proceeding to the nearest door I threw it open, greeted by an expansive closet filled with suits. Nothing seemed peculiar until I took a closer look. There appeared to be an ugly blonde toupee hanging above each suit. I exited the closet, finding my way into a gold and marble bathroom where I immediately noticed a bottle of spray tan resting on the countertop.
Could it be? No, it was impossible. I took a step and looked into the lavish mirror. A hideous creature with a poorly applied spray tan and unsightly toupee stared back at me. I had become Donald Trump.
    My first instinct was to run and hide. I did not want to be seen as such a grotesque human being. However, the implications of my situation soon came to me. I was Donald Trump: a man hated by many and loved by others, the Republican front-runner and potential future president of the United States of America. A smile came to my face as I formulated a devious plan.
    “Mister Trump,” I heard a voice through my intercom, “you have a rally to attend in three hours, please begin preparation.”
I did not have a speech prepared, but I knew I would not need one. I had seen enough of Trump’s speeches that I knew that just saying “make America great again” would trigger an eruption of applause. Weave in insults towards the other candidates, and no one would be able to differentiate between me and the real Donald Trump. When it was time for the rally, I was ready.
    Standing on my elevated podium, I gazed into the crowd of at least one thousand supporters. The crowd cheered as I made my opening remarks. I do not know how Trump did it, but he had managed to gain an almost cult-like following of people who ate into his every word. After a short speech, the crowd went crazy, in support of me. Over the next few weeks, I made similar speeches at numerous rallies. Occasionally I would think of new controversial ideas to maintain my stance in the headlines. At first I was apprehensive about repeating Donald Trump’s opinions. However after just a few rallies I convinced myself that everything Trump had said was true, and that he was capable of making America great again. Donald Trump had done the hard work of gaining the support of the masses and all I had to do was carry on his legacy.
    First, however, I had to secure the nomination. The political establishment was determined to do anything they could to prevent me from being the Republican nominee, but I knew what I needed to do to win. I needed to do something to take my fellow Republican and primary opponent, Ted Cruz, out of the race. The perfect opportunity manifested itself before me: conspiracy theories across the internet claiming that Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer had gone viral. I took advantage of this opportunity, hiring a team to fabricate irrefutable evidence to prove these conspiracies correct. As this evidence came to the attention of mainstream media, Ted Cruz allocated more resources than he could afford to dispute these claims. Although it was eventually discovered that all the evidence was falsified, my plan was successful and Ted Cruz’s occupation on this issue allowed me to win the Republican nomination by a landslide.
My next obstacle was Hillary Clinton. Although she was not as vulnerable as Ted Cruz, I was able to defeat her with minimal foul play. Through a series of political ads, cartoons, and speeches, I was able to portray Clinton as a weak leader unfit to lead our country. I ultimately drew her into a mudslinging war that she was destined to lose, and most certainly did. Once I had been nominated, I set out to have the shortest inaugural address in history: “Together we will make America great again.”
Within a year of my oath of office I had been able to completely eradicate radical extremist forces, as I promised, although much of the Middle East was left uninhabitable due to my so-called “excessive measures” of keeping America safe. In addition, I declared that any country to provoke the United States of America would have to agree to a list of my demands lest they be dealt with using force.
Of course, I built the wall, and not only did I get Mexico to pay for it, but I used the persuasive power of the U.S. Armed Forces to convince them them to build it themselves under the threat of war. In just my first year of presidency I made America greater than it had been in decades.
Knowing that even allied countries would begin to fear the power of the United States, I formed new, secret alliances with equally feared countries, Russia and China. At this point it had been two years since my inauguration and American patriotism was at an all-time high. I was able to secure trade deals that made America tremendously wealthy and dropped the unemployment rate to under a tenth of a percent. Even the people that had initially despised me became my biggest fans. What's not to love? By the start of my second term I had eradicated the national debt through a series of compromises and repayments. All was well, but I was not yet satisfied.
America was made great again, but there was one last thing I needed to accomplish my final objective. With the help of Russia and China, I began provoking former allies into war. In under a year we had dragged every major power, even Switzerland, into a global war. This was the worst fear of all my critics. I had started World War III.
Using the war as an excuse, I dissolved the other branches of government and declared myself emperor of the United States of America. After just a year of fighting, it seemed that we were about to lose the war, and have to face the interminable consequences of starting and losing a World War. Russia and China had been occupied by European powers and America was surrounded on all sides. But I knew we would not lose. For we had a Trump card.
Under the cornfields of Kansas, we held onto a significant nuclear arsenal, supplemented by China and Russia. As troops closed in on Washington DC, I ordered the launch of six nukes targeted for capital cities of attacking countries, and the preparation of fifty more. Under the threat of nuclear war, all attacking countries surrendered unconditionally. Over the course of only one year, there were over 500,000,000 deaths and one hundred cities obliterated. I asked only two things of the countries we had defeated; to join the United States of America and accept me as their all-powerful leader. I had finally succeeded; America was made great again and much, much more.

But at what cost?