Clouds | Teen Ink

Clouds

October 12, 2013
By azelma BRONZE, Bartlett, Tennessee
azelma BRONZE, Bartlett, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It was Rebecca’s Seventh birthday. The year was 1915. Her small hand was tucked into her father’s considerably larger one, soft silk encased in warm leather. The two stared into the sky, and her father reached his free hand out towards the endless blue. Rebecca’s eyes followed it, and she knew at that moment that she would receive no physical gifts that day, for their family could not afford them. But the glowing in her father’s eyes made her not care. The man looked down at his girl and spoke.

“I don’t have much to give you, my dear, except everything. Look at the clouds, and whatever you see in them is my present to you.” Rebecca turned her head and her eyes met billowing white. The clouds, like soft down, floated and shifted from shape to shape. Rebecca let out a cry of happiness.

“I see a lady dancing!” She exclaimed. “With a dress more lovely than any I have ever seen. Who is she, papa?” The man smiled, wrinkles forming cracks in his leather skin. Rebecca’s small heart filled with joy as his soft voice told her of the dancing lady.

“It is a royal ball, my girl. Someday, you and I shall dance in it.”

******
It was Rebecca’s eighth birthday. Again, she had no gifts. Again, she didn’t mind. Unlike the year before, she stood alone. No man stood with her that day, no hand held hers. Her father was miles away, and his companion was a gun. He had been gone for months now, and little Rebecca was forced to spend her birthday alone.

She stood staring at the clouds, and told herself what her father had a year ago. Whatever she saw would be her present. She saw a desk, a large bird perched on top of it. She saw a dolphin leaping from a vast ocean. Behind it was a pirate ship, fierce and ready to take what it must. Rebecca stood, staring into the clouds, claiming each vision she saw as her own.

That same day her father went to battle. Each shape she saw in the clouds was a bullet in the poor man’s flesh.

******
It was Rebecca’s thirteenth birthday. A week ago her best friend told her that she was like a child. Rebecca did not have a best friend any more. She did not have a cake and she did not have a friend. Worse than that, she did not have a father.

In the clouds she found a new best friend, who held out towards her the largest cake she had ever seen. Behind her friend of white stood tall torches which burned with fire bright. Rebecca smiled and politely thanked the sky for her party. If only her father could have attended, it would have been perfect.

******
It was Rebecca’s sixteenth birthday. People whispered that she was strange, and it made her mother grieve. They said that she was still like a little girl, like she hadn’t aged since her father’s death. Rebecca thought that strange. She thought a lot of things strange, and sometimes she cried. She did not think the cloud strange.

Because she was sixteen, she saw a castle. She thought that perhaps she was Briar Rose, and was meant to go inside and prick her finger. Rebecca liked fairy tales, and princes and princesses. She liked queens best, however. She would rather be a queen than Briar Rose, and asked the clouds if that would be alright. They sent her a horse, and Rebecca thought that meant yes.

******
It was Rebecca’s twenty third birthday, and a man did stand next to her this time. He did not mind what people said about Rebecca, and he said it was because he loved her. He told her that he wanted to marry her, and Rebecca said that would be quite alright if only they could look at the clouds.

He held her hand like her father once had, and Rebecca liked that. He kissed her, too, and Rebecca thought she saw flowers in the clouds. He laughed when she said that, and suggested that perhaps they were a wedding bouquet. He thought it endearing that Rebecca was an adult but still a child. The problem was that he was a rich man. Sometimes, rich men were told that they had to marry rich girls, and Rebecca was not rich.

He told her that he had to leave her, but promised that he would think of her each time he saw the clouds. In the beginning she had been sad, and her heart hung heavy. But when he was gone, she thought on him no longer, for she found happiness in the clouds.

He wasn’t the most important man anyways, she realized after he had left. Rebecca stood staring at the sky, speaking to a father that was not there. She said to him that she would like a bit of bread with jam on it, if they had any.

******
It was Rebecca’s twenty seventh birthday. Her mother had recently passed away. For some reason, Rebecca felt no sadness at the passing of her mother. She wondered if that was wrong. She knew that her mother loved her, once, but then Rebecca grew older and people called her crazy- among other words that one does not feel comfortable repeating. They now said that with her mother’s death, Rebecca was alone. But she had been alone much longer than that.

In the clouds she saw a gate. Inside it, perhaps, was a garden. Or maybe a cemetery. Rebecca did not know. A little ways away she saw something a bit happier than that. It was a church with nice, high, steeples. Churches made Rebecca happy. There was a preacher at hers who always had a nice word to say. So it was the church that Rebecca chose to be her birthday gift.

In front of the church was a car. Cars were expensive. No one that Rebecca knew owned a car. She thought that perhaps if she had a car she would be more special than anyone else. With a smile, Rebecca took it. That year she had two birthday gifts.

******
It was Rebecca’s thirty third birthday. The year ws 1943. She had not seen a cloud for weeks, not fluffy white ones that gave her gifts. She saw big machines in the sky, and heard sirens and people dying. Around her, people would disappear.

Sirens rang the night of her birthday, and Rebecca ran outside to ask the sky for a birthday present. Not far from where Rebecca stood fires had started, and smoke spiraled towards the sky. The smoke caught Rebecca’s eyes, and she thought it to be clouds. In her mind, Rebecca thought that the universe altered itself a bit so that it could wish her well. Next to her stood a vision of her father, and Rebecca reached for his hand.

As sirens wailed, people ran for shelter in the deepest basements. No one much cared to drag Rebecca inside to safety. So she stood, holding hands with empty air, wishing on the clouds. Rebecca saw in the sky a woman dancing in a long, graceful gown. The girl realized with a blossoming joy that she had arrived in time for the royal ball. The guests each twirled in their regal costumes, all laughing and singing. The maiden in the gown then danced away from her partner, and Rebecca gasped.

Her father was not beside her after all. He was the partner to the cloud lady, and now he stood tall and proud in the sky, offering his hand to little Rebecca. As he had once promised, years ago, her father was inviting her to dance.

The bombs fell then, and the town became a mess of smoke and ash. But they were too late for Rebecca. For by the time they reached the ground, Rebecca had already left her body behind. She was traveling upwards to the ball, to live with her father and the clouds.


The author's comments:
A few things inspired me to write this piece. I was up at 4:30 in the morning, and staring at the tile I thought of clouds and the shapes one finds in them. I immediately knew that I wanted to write something about clouds. I also always have a soft spot for people who are "different", so the idea of Rebecca's mental health being affected by her father's death appealed to me.

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