“Come ON, Ty-Ty, have a little,” Sydni Lee whined, digging the bottle into my right shoulder blade. I winced. She was acting like she was my girlfriend, but she’s not- Alyxandra Frederickson is. I could picture Alyx’s fiery mop of red curls that has absolutely no correlation to her personality. But I was standing next to Sydni, not Alyx, and I had to keep up the act.

“Okay, first of all, quit calling me Ty-Ty. It’s Tyson. To answer your question, absolutely not. Do you want my dad to kill me?” My dad’s a pastor, and he’d kill me for even being here in the first place. But I wasn’t about to mention that.

“Come on, why can’t you just loosen up a little?”

“I have an image to think about, even if you don’t!”

The stinging remarked caused her face to break into a pout. “Oh, I’m sorry… I’m sorry, oh, fine,” I muttered, doing the only thing I knew to make her quit- I snatched the bottle from her and took a swig. “Happy?”

She beamed now like she had achieved some special goal. I couldn’t help staring at her tiny body- she was a cheerleader, after all. Then again, that was why I liked Alyx- she was down-to-Earth and easy to please.

“How’s the taste?” she coyly inquired.

I pondered her question. “Not as bad as I thought.”

She smirked. “I thought so. Why don’t you drink more?”

Everyone else was doing it. If I didn’t, I’d be the outsider. Was that such a difficult question?

“Sure, sure,” I mumbled and downed that bottle… and another… and another… until I lost count…

“That was fun,” Sydni sighed as she reclined in the shotgun seat. She didn’t seem to notice how shaky my hands were on the wheel. My head hurt, and was starting to throb. But I didn’t mention this to her.

“Yeeahitwasss,” I slurred, and she giggled as if this was actually funny. I ignored her and tried to drive.

“You have such a great body…” she sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you remember?” She giggled.

“Obviously not,” I snapped.

“I cannot WAIT to rub this into Alyx’s face… hey, there she is. Alyx!” She rolled her window down. I turned to look in her direction. The next thing I knew, I lost control and my right foot, in my drunkenness, accidently depressed the accelerator. The car shot forward. All else was drowned out by screaming before a loud crash as the car hit a store and then utter silence.

I immediately got out of the car. “Alyx?” I fell to my knees, continuing to call out, “Alyx! Alyx, please answer me!” Her olive green eyes opened, and I breathed sharply. Her expression was accusing, even from the awkward position she was pinned in. “Alyx, I’m so sorry!”

She coughed, but there was nothing I could do. I only watched in fear.

“Tyson…”

“Yes, Alyx, I’m here, honey.”

She recoiled. “Don’t call me that. Why is Sydni Lee in your car?”

“I…”

“Don’t,” she coughed between word spasms, “deny *cough* it *cough*… you’ve *cough* been cheating *cough*-”

“I am NOT!”

“Were you *cough* DRINKING?!”

No words came to me. I only stared at her. How did she know me so well?

“I *cough* forgive y-” she trailed off before her mouth froze in the shape of her next word.

“No, Alyx, no!” I wailed, weeping openly now. My world was spinning- from the beer or the situation, one or the other, or both. All I knew was that I felt so very, very stupid and ashamed to be Tyson James Munroe.

I remembered a random line that I had never quite understood before that I couldn’t help but recall now-
“…The prospect’s black, too late, it’s gone, it won’t come back.”

I deserved this- although poor Alyx didn’t. I had thrown my life away. I’d gone against Alyx, my father, and God, and felt so incredibly dirty and alone. I couldn’t face anyone. How did people live with this guilt? Well, to get rid of it, there was only one thing to do…

I reached into my pocket and pulled out an object I’d never thought I’d use but had kept safe anyway. “Say goodbye,” I hissed, watching the feeble moonlight glint off the metal before stabbing it into the vague direction of my heart.

I fell backwards, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I plastered on a wasted smile.