I had known her four years, yet it felt like forever. I can’t imagine my life without her.  Now, as I stood there, looking between her and Jack, I thought my world was ending. She stood there in horror, tears springing to her eyes. Her gaze lingered a moment more, and then she was gone, running away from the betrayal she had just witnessed. I didn’t even glance at Jack, knowing he felt awful too, but not as much as I did. I kissed my best friend’s boyfriend was all I could think as I moved away from Jack, and towards the doorway. Seeing Morgan’s reaction killed me, but that was the least of what I deserved. 

Jack said my name as I left the room, but was powerless to stop me as I went to the place I knew she would be. Our spot, I thought, and then I remembered that it had been her spot to begin with. She and I met there, our broken 12-year-old selves longing for answers to the question we both shared: Why me? Her dad had died, and my parents had gotten a divorce. Hers always seemed like the more serious issue, but the one time I brought that up, she did that adorable, stupid little snort thing and told me it wasn’t a competition. Since that day we’d been inseparable. 

So you’re probably wondering why I did it. Why I kissed Jack, the first boy Morgan ever loved and betrayed my best friend in the world. And as much as I regret it, I can’t change what I did or take it back. As I approached the bridge, I saw her sitting there, heard her sniffling and crying, and felt every emotion she did, and so much more. And it hit me then, standing at the edge of the bridge, watching Morgan accept my betrayal. It’s because I’m jealous, not of her necessarily, but the fact that she’s pretty, popular, smart, funny, athletic, artistic, and just a great person to know. Being stuck in the shadows, feeling invisible, but all along loving the person who made you feel that way. 

She looks over at me, and before I realize I’m crying, she gets up and comes to me. And instead of yelling at me, telling me I’m a traitor, she stops and just looks at me. She studies my face, and as my eyes avert, she pulls me in for a hug. I sobbed, and so did she, realizing we were both still broken, just like we were four years ago. She whispers in my ear, telling me it’s alright, and that she wants to know what’s wrong, that she’s ready to listen. I hugged her tighter, knowing I didn’t deserve her, but not wanting to lose her. 

The only words I could form were, “I love you, Morgan.” And we just stayed there, hugging, crying, and trying to forget everything that had happened. When we finally ran out of tears to cry, we sat down, our legs dangling out over the bridge, like old times, and we talked about everything. 

Crazy enough, she forgave me, said she was sorry for anything she had ever done to be a bad friend, and though I tried to tell her that she could never let me down, she still insisted it was all her fault. But there we sat, laughing and joking, fixing our friendship, putting the pieces back together. Because everything in the world could change overnight, but we would still be there; Morgan and Ashley, best friends, inseparable, ready to face the world. And nothing and no one could ever change that.