Aeste

Waking up everything was Different 

Home

School

Mom

Everything

There was no breakfast in the morning

There was 

Yelling

Throwing

Manipulating

I walked downstairs

As quiet as I could

I was told to stay in the room

That was where I belonged

From the wise words of mom

I looked at Curly 

And without a word

He came

Curly

She looked at me 

And without a word

She talked

She said

Come with me

Please

You know I need you

Need

She needed me 

I’m just a dog but

I was the only thing 

left

Aeste

I brought him downstairs

And outside

Even though 

It was raining

I stayed with him

What would happen if I didn’t

Would he leave

Would something happen

Would he miss me

Questions that I never want answers to

Curly

I went outside and there she was

Her wet curly brown hair

Dripping down onto her light caramelized colored skin

Because of the rain

Her forest green eyes looking at me

Waiting 

For me

Aeste

When we came inside

I went to the couch

As I sat down I looked around

And felt Empty

Nothing was there

Except for this curly haired 

golden retriever

With dark brown eyes almost black

The dog the saved my life

Curly

She looked around

She looked empty 

She looked like this isn’t the place for her

And it's not

She doesn’t belong here 

She is meant to do 

Big things

And she can’t 

Because she is stuck

Aeste

Being stuck is 

Scary

Not being able to move

Not being able to breathe

Not being able to talk

Not being able to do anything

Is being stuck

Curly

The thing bout being 

stuck 

is the people 

who feel like that 

Are the one you 

wouldn’t think are

The ones with the big 

Beautiful smile

The ones making the jokes and

Jumping around

Those are the ones that suffer the most

She used to be that 

Happy person but

Now she is just a suffers

Aeste

After sitting 

I realize

that I can't feel this way for long

one day I will feel better

One day I will get up 

and I will do better for myself

I will do better 

Only that day is not now

The day could be tomorrow

Or the day could be 5 years away

But that day will be a very good one.

Curly

One day she will feel better 

Only that day is not soon

For now, she will sleep

she will dream

Because

It is one

Of the many things

That she can do well

Because

After two years 

of watching her shut herself out, 

She may open the doors

She may go outside

She may read a book

Aeste

I woke up and felt things I hadn't in a while.

Happy

Energized

Motivated

I opened the doors

I went outside

I read

It's not a lot to others 

but

To me, this is everything

This is what life is

Curly

She is feeling good 

I'm feeling good

Something will happen

Because this always happens

She becomes happy but

 then it will be ruined by evil

Mom

She thinks she is so much better than me 

but she’s not,

She will do as I say

And

Do as I do

And that will be the best gift.

The gift of another me

Not her father

I don't want one of those

Aeste

She came home

All to soon

All to quick

All to mad

The doors were open

The windows were open

I was reading

I felt free

but she was home too soon

The freedom I once knew had gone

My freedom, gone

Mom

Do you remember the best day of my life,

The day I got a call saying

Your father is dead

“Your father died,

Heart attack.

I'm glad he's gone

Now I don't have to worry about him

I just have to 

Deal

With you”

Aeste

I hope you rot in hell 

I wish you were the one who died

What happened to you

You were happy

you were fun

You were loving 

you were kind

It was sh*t right

All a front

That loving happy mom went down the drain

with all the respect that you had