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Missing you

October 13, 2009
By Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
More by this author
Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
25 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
change your life<br /> <br /> Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.<br /> John Ada

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I ran so hard to catch up to the memory of you. I ran imagining you were at the bottom of the hill and I was an actress. I pretended to have a long, rippled dress with a ribbon around my waist. I imagined my snow white hair mixing with my white dress. If I could see myself, I imagined my dress would be like wings and my running steps would soon make me fly. I ran down the field filled with wheat until I reached the bottom where you were, but as I jumped into your arms you disappeared as the wind taking away sand. I fell to the ground because you weren’t there to pick me up. I laid there thinking of you and what hurt the most was that you never gave me an honest opinion on what you thought of me but the everything else you said was the truth. You were my greatest influence and my raiser, my morals. When you were by me, my self-esteem was high, my thoughts were deep, and I was unique. You taught me my religion and showed me things I would never get to see. I wondered why do bad things happen to the good people? The misery you caused me made me cry. The tears kept coming because I was in reality now. The pain shot me in my heart like being hit by a bullet. You were my world but when you were sent away I couldn’t find a trace of me. Who am I? Why am I here? Here I was surrounded by evil and hatred. I didn’t know how to handle it so I got up and began to run until I could catch the memory of you. The joy of you stays here inside of me until I meet you. I might change and you might change but forever our hearts together connecting us over an ocean. I miss you.

© Elizabeth E., Elmhurst , NY

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comment on, please. tell me if it is intersting or bland. tips? advice?
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This article has 12 comments.

Melonn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 18 2009 at 8:27 pm
Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
25 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
change your life<br /> <br /> Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.<br /> John Ada

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wow thank you i do hope i get published too.. this writing meant a lot.. i know how it is when you miss someone and you are kind of hopeless, but i mean if you have someone who went away and they were like your other half i guess it could be a good thing because then you can focus on yourself and be whole but i mean it still sucks to miss someone.... but thank you!
Melonn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 18 2009 at 8:25 pm
Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
25 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
change your life<br /> <br /> Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.<br /> John Ada

View profile
yes its true my friend got sent to finland after she went out of her religion and her parents didnt want that so they sent her to a school there to try and make her come back to the religion... the religion i am in is nothing like you will ever see.. and as a teenager your not aloud to be normal almost like a cult but thank you! writing is the thing that lets some thoughts go..
Jaquie BRONZE said...
on Nov. 18 2009 at 3:59 pm
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: &quot;I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.&quot; -2 Samuel 6:22

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Very, very well written. Is is true? You have such a unique style. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading this.

God bless,

...,
MalPal said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 6:32 pm
Wow this captured my heart it reminds me of someone I miss deeply. I always think of that person and I hope to always have them be there. Yet they can't so I try to go on but it hurts knowing u meet someone so great an now there gone. I think this is amazing and I hope you get published. I love your discritions of everything.
Melonn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 16 2009 at 10:40 pm
Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
25 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
change your life<br /> <br /> Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.<br /> John Ada

View profile
thank you so much
Vendela BRONZE said...
on Nov. 15 2009 at 8:45 pm
Vendela BRONZE, San Diego, California
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I&#039;m afraid of widths.

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I loved it, beatiful writing. (:
Melonn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 15 2009 at 6:27 pm
Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
25 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
change your life<br /> <br /> Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.<br /> John Ada

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thank you so much! this is like my first writing that is good in my opinion :) thank you!
Melonn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 15 2009 at 6:25 pm
Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
25 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
change your life<br /> <br /> Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.<br /> John Ada

View profile
ya i had this friend who moved away and when i send her email she doesn't reply i feel so vulnerable without her.. but thank you!
Ali.B GOLD said...
on Nov. 15 2009 at 4:30 pm
Ali.B GOLD, Lexington, North Carolina
10 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
I write whatever flows from my fingers- AJY

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I am in love with this writing. I am going through something hard right now and this captures my heart. You are a good writer. I would love your opinion on some of the things i wrote.
Inkspired PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 15 2009 at 3:13 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?&quot; - Mario Pei<br /> &quot;I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn&#039;t, I would die.&quot; Isaac Asimov

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This is really beautiful. If you'd like some tips to improve, I'd suggest varying the length of your sentences so the writing flows better. Most of your sentences are the same length, and of the same type right now. A few grammar errors, but otherwise, I love the idea and the descriptions. Great job!
Melonn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 14 2009 at 6:32 pm
Melonn PLATINUM, Phoniex, Arizona
25 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
change your life<br /> <br /> Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either aristocracy or monarchy. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide.<br /> John Ada

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thank you! i really appreciate it!
.peace.love.happiness. BRONZE said...
on Nov. 11 2009 at 1:37 pm
.peace.love.happiness. BRONZE, Dell Rapids, South Dakota
4 articles 1 photo 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Live, Laugh, Love!&quot; and &quot;Peace, Love, and Happiness!&quot;

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Good article. Good descriptions in it too.