Headlights flashed in my eyes, as did my 15 years of life. It was like slow motion as the car glided into the side of my mums SUV with sickening grace. A few things crossed my mind when the ambulance arrived and I was strapped on to a stretcher:
Am I going to live?
Is my mum okay?
Is the other driver okay?
I stumbled around in a dense darkness, trying to find light, trying to make sense of the voices around me as steady, urgent fingers worked over my body that was slowly becoming a corpse with every stuttering heartbeat. I didn’t feel any pain, I felt peaceful.
My mind was at ease, slowly drifting through past memories, deeper and deeper into the dark peace. To a place where there is no evil, no crime, no hatred or sin.
The voices of the EMTS faded and I became more and more tired, more peaceful.
NO! NO! NO! NO! I said to myself, I’m not going to die here!! Not now! I have my whole life ahead of me!
I stopped reliving my favorite memories and forced my eyes open with much difficulty. Everything was a nauseating blur. Like I was watching a T.V with bad reception. I could barely make out the shapes of people and objects around me. I couldn’t hear anything, just a quiet ringing in my ears. However, most of all, I couldn’t shake the feeling of remorse for all my bad-doings. I never got to say sorry. I couldn’t get rid of the fear and agony that possessed my mind. I could barely breathe with the force of the dark peace pushing on my chest and my conscience.
My eyes automatically closed once again, and I automatically fought back. I was determined to make it through this, to fight for my life.
After what seemed like forever, I regained feeling in my legs, and the pain was excruciating. The blurred shapes and people became more defined as the pain stimulated my mind and my vision cleared.
My whole body was aching and my heart pounded harder than it ever had before.
I instantly regretted forcing myself to not succumb. Life would be so much easier the other way, better than on earth. But still I battled with the dark peace. I battled long and hard, but I just wasnt strong enough.. I couldn't win against death. I felt myself slowly slipping away, all my physical and mental pain vanished and I let the dark peace consume me and take me away to a better place.