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The Debate of Trust
I glance at the corner, where the big street light shines dimly on the sidewalk beneath it. I look at Valerie. Her face covered with the sleeves of her sweatshirt. Secretly mopping up her tears. The tears I have forced upon her, the one’s I should be crying. My secrets came by dozens, rushing in on her, telling her who I was. Telling her everything, I knew she would never believe them, until this morning when they all backfired on her.
I glance away for just a moment, every cell in my body praying she hasn’t noticed my stare. I look down at my shoes wrinkled in shame. I look back at Valerie asking myself why I have done this to her. I cannot blame Shelley for this. These were my actions. Influenced by Shelley done by me, the fault is mine. My trust would never be regained by Valerie. I knew this now. I lied to her, about everything, about who I was, where I came from; everything but my name. I do believe she is eligible to even question that now. I shove my face into my arms, my ponytail too tight and high, pulling back on me. The stress that compelled me caused me to tear it out and throw it to the ground. I pulled too hard, too quick, it snapped. In the dead silence of the night, It sounded loud enough to be the equivalent to a trio of people banging pots and pans. Valerie turned and saw me, her jaw dropped in shock, her eyes said everything. I stood there and looked at her, wanting to force my self over there to talk to her. With every intention to turn away and sprint down the street. The only speck of good inside of me, told my brain to move. My legs ached as I forcefully pushed them forward. Standing directly in front of Valerie, all she did was stare. As if I was some sickening monster, ready to take her life away. Or already had. Her eyes locked on mine, screaming at me, demanding to know why I was so cruel to her, and why I am so mean to everyone. My eyes calmly, ready to cry, explain to her I had no intention for anything to back fire on her. I was under pressure, extreme pressure. Her eye’s debate trusting me, although I am telling the truth this time. I do understand her concern that I am lying.
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