Voices were roaring, screaming, and running around my head. It was like being next to fireworks as they were going off. The sound was excruciating. I knew it was not going to leave. I opened my mouth to yell, but silence was all that came out. All I could see was darkness. There were vibrant red eyes glowing, and glaring at me. My breaths were rapid, and harsh. The eyes came closer; I turned my head away and closed my eyes. I realized Nate was still out there in the swampy, cold darkness. I tried to warn him about what was coming, but no warning was coming out of my mouth. I looked over at him, and saw him look at me pleadingly. Then, he was gone. I could not see anything. I tried to breathe...
I opened my eyes, and realized I was covered in sweat. I tried to control my breathing, and I sat up. Having dreams like that all the time makes it a little easier to calm down. I looked over at my alarm clock, and saw it was two o’clock in the morning. I had finally calmed down enough that I got up, went to the kitchen, and got a of glass water.
“Rachel, why are you down here so early in the morning?” my mom asked, as she was sitting on the bar stool reading some paper.
“I...um...needed a drink of water. Why are you down here?” I asked trying to change the subject.
“I am just trying to get this paper ready for work. There was a problem.” She stated in a blunt tone. She took off her glasses, rubbed her temple with her hand, and looked over at me. She raised her eyebrows and said, “You did not just have a need of water did you?”
I just hung my head and said, “No, I had the dream again. I do not know how to not have it. This is the third time this week I have dreamt of it.”
She gasped and said, “Were you planning on telling me? I need to know these things. Talking about it might make it better.”
“No, Mom it will not. It will make it worse.”
“Honey, we need to go see so see someone. It has been over a month, and you are still dreaming about that nightmarish day,” she said sympathetically.
My heart thudded at the thought of that day. I just glared at my mom for mentioning it. “Why must you mention that? I do not want to live with that guilt for the rest of my life!” I yelled with tears streaming down my face. “You have no idea what I go through! You were not there!” I collapsed to the floor and hugged my knees. I let the tears of guilt, anger, and sorrow fall. I was feeling so many emotions.
“I do not know what you are going through. I get that. But I cannot see you hurt yourself. This guilt from losing Nate, your best friend, is killing you! He would not want that!”
“Mom, he would want to be here now. If I could have yelled I might have been able to save him.” I said with tears flowing down my face and my eyes redder than a lobster. “I do not think I will be able to get over this…”
“That is why I scheduled therapy for you…”
“What?” I screamed, “I am not crazy!”
To Be Continued…