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I Still Don't Know
Thud.
The dull sound wakes me from my dreaming slumber.
And it was such a wonderful dream, too. A particular type of dream that I'm sure will come to me once I shake off my post-waking groggy-ness. Damn. The details of the dream are already slipping away. All I can remember is I was fighting creatures as I was in the middle of rescuing the fair maiden, Lynn.
Before I continue with the dream, I wash the overnight musk from my skin, chase the morning breath out of my mouth, and dress myself half-way decently for the day. Wishing I could return to the warmth and comfort of my transforming sleeping-place, I hurry over to my alarm clock before it can begin its shrieking. Alas, I am too late. I manage to shut the damn thing up, grab my towel, and head into the shower. I will spare you the details, only that I emerge smelling of typical teenage boy with a hint of Crest. I suppose while I dress myself, I shall enlighten you of the Lynn I mentioned earlier. Ahh, Lynn. I see her face echoing in my mind.
Her name is Lynn Cassidy, and she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. Her eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue. On a hot summers day, I could swim for hours in them. Without gushing too much, her smile, her brunette hair, the sway of her body, and her laugh are perfect to me. Above all her other horrible qualities, she is one of my best friends.
I finish getting ready. Pack my backpack, grab a bagel, hop into my hot rod of a Civic, and head off to school. So other than Lynn, music is a huge passion in my life. While most people enjoy music, I live it. Even when my surroundings are silent, there is a constant soundtrack running in my ever-whirring brain.
Yes! My favorite song has been randomly selected to play. I turn up the volume loud and sing along, as I always do.
As I walk to my first class of the day, Biology, I pass Lynn on the opposite side of the hall. She is looking extraordinary today. We exchange smiles and waves as we normally do in the hallway. Never more, never less. Biology flies by abnormally quickly, and I leave with my own DNA in a small vial around my neck. On to Psychology.
This is one of the two classes I have with Lynn. And we sit right next to each other. However, the teacher lectures the entire class, and is very intolerant of students talking amongst themselves. So we do nothing more, nothing less, than sit beside each other in silence.
Finally. Lunch time. With only a bagel for breakfast, I am starving. Because the principal is fond of us, we are allowed to leave for lunch. I head out to a local Chinese restaurant, where I can gorge myself while not damaging my wallet too much. The wonton soup is particular delectable.
Back at school, I run into Lynn again. Literally, run into her. I turn a corner, and she apparently was on the opposite side of said corner, and we collide, the innards of her purse scattering all over the floor. I help, apologizing all the while, making to stay away from anything that looks like a tampon. One last apology, then a question as to her attendance at tonight's track practice. She says she will not due to shin splints. I tell her I hope she heals up soon. Then a farewell, and we part yet again.
The rest of the day crawls on, with the prospect of not being able to hang out with Lynn at practice looming over my head.
Finally, practice time. The time where I can just run, and not have any other care in the world. Making sure to grab my iPod, I make my way to the track. After changing and warming up, our coach sets us lose, with the only rule to be back at a certain time. I'm not really friends with anyone else in this group of people, except for Lynn. She is my running partner. We often test each other, setting a goal location, and having a race to see who can get there first, no shortcuts allowed. I do not wish to say who currently has the most wins (hint: it's not me). Running without her beside me, us testing each other, and pushing each other to our limits, feels...different. And not the good kind of different. The void next to me makes me feel uncomfortable, but I still manage to forget my problems and just run.
Dinner time. At the table, with the family. My lovely family. My father is always curious as to my schoolwork, even when I have none. My mother is always curious of my social life, even when I have none. My older brother is off at college, failing half his classes. My younger sister is an annoying fat little chatterbox who doesn't know when to leave someone alone. I love dinner with my family.
After dinner, I sit down to play some World of Warcraft. Most people who know about me playing this game poke fun at me. But it's only because they don't understand that in this world, there are no Earthly worries. No heartache, no permanent death, and problems can be solved in the span of a sitcom. Also, in this world, I am the best. Nobody disrespects me, lest I either slay them with my words or my magic.
I play until 10, because then my dad kicks me off so he can delve in to this digital world. I log on to AIM, searching to see if there is anyone worth talking to. Oh, look, Lynn is online. I start off the conversation with a simple Hey, how's it going? We talk for hours, discussing life in general, and repeatedly going of on tangents about trivial things. The next time I look at the clock, it is past midnight. This is probably why I have such a hard time waking up in the morning. I tell Lynn it is late, and I should be getting to futon. The farewell of good night's are exchanged, I turn off my laptop, close it, lay my head down and drift off, still not having told Lynn how I feel about her. The thing is, I don't know if I ever will.
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