Hey! Long time no talk. I’ve missed you!

Oh… wait things still aren’t the same. And I don’t think they ever will be. I mean were cool not and all but still there’s a part of me that will always miss you. But that’s old news.

Ah, sorry about that… I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately. I don’t even like you like that anymore! Then again… it’s been a year since we cuddled… Since you held me tight and I felt safe with your arms around me.

Wait! Hold it! This isn’t even about you. It’s about your friend. We shall call him T.

Yes, it’s true I only met him because of you. I haven’t even known him a year and yet him and I are probably closer than you and I will ever be. He makes time for me, to see movies, go out to eat, and even just to hang out and talk. That might be the key difference with you guys.

So, as you may have guessed by now, I like him. I’ve liked him close to since I met him. He’s been there for me and that means the world to me, not that you haven’t been, but yeah… Oh! And for awhile that feeling was a mutual one, one that he never seemed to be ready to tell me about. And then when he finally was ready, well that’s when another guy came into the picture. From there T went on to my best friend, but even though they were together I still saw him all the time. We were still together in the weird way we have always been. From there he went on to his next girlfriend, an old friend. That was a killer! But I bounced back; there was nothing else to do.

Funny thing is even with this girlfriend he loves, he has never gone away. I fight with my parents and he asks if he needs to come pick me up. We go to the mall. We joke around like we’ve known each other forever. We argue like we are five. We know how to annoy the hell out of each other. My parents like him. He’s my best friend. And part of me says “you love him.” And I think just maybe I do. Maybe he’s my soul mate.

Every time I think that, I get scared. I remind myself, T is so much like you are. He could hurt me so greatly so quickly. I get all insecure. Then I walk into class and sit down. T comes in and looks at me. He says nothing for a moment, but I can see thoughts turning in his eyes. He gets a slight grin and turns away, or says “so… How are you?” Right there. That’s the moment that I’m caught again. How could I ever doubt someone who knows me so well, and has let me in, in a way he doesn’t let many people in?

Basically I want to say thank you. It’s all your fault I met T. And it’s all your fault I fell in love. Who knows? I could be totally wrong. I could end up with you or even some guy who I’ve never seen before. But for now I’m in love. Thank you. I’m happy to be caught up in this whirlwind again. And I really hope we do get a chance to catch up, even though I would never tell you what I’ve written here. See you around ?

-E