I remember the way the night sky looked, the way the stars glowed in the night. I remember the calm sways of the trees in the midnight breeze, and the oceans waves crushing against the shore. I remember your smile, the smile that takes my breath away, brightening up the sky above us. That moment, right there, I knew would last forever.

There are no words to describe how I felt, what I felt. I could try, but I could never fully express to the extent of which, how I truly felt. We thought we would be together forever, that nothing could ever tear us apart. Sadly, we were mistaken.

It was a dreamy night, we had just spent the most wonderful evening together, an evening I will never forget, an evening I wanted to last forever. We spent the entire night under the stars along the beach, all intertwined with each other, soaking up each others presence. We held each other as tight as we could, as tight as possible. I had never felt so close to someone. It was magical. Soon after, he walked me home, still holding hands, still never letting go. I had never been happier. When we got to my doorstep, we shared the most passionate kiss I had ever experienced, a kiss I will always remember. He then went on his way home, and I watched him while he watched me, both with smiles on our faces, smiles that we will always share.

It was March 26th. That was the day that it all fell apart, that we were torn apart. That was the day that two selfish, inconsiderate men took the life of the boy that I loved. The first boy I loved, the first boy that I will forever love. I still remember the look on my parents faces, my father, with glazed up, tear filled eyes, this, the man who was always able to hold himself together, this, this is what had become of my father. That look alone told me something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what to think, all I knew was that something terrible had just happened. At first I didn’t believe it, I didn’t believe that people could be so cruel, could be so cruel to just pummel the life out of somebody for a mere few bucks. I couldn’t believe that this is what had become of the boy I loved. All I could do was cry, was weep, I tried controlling myself, but what was the point. What was the point in pretending I was okay when really I wasn’t. The person I loved with all my heart had been taken away from me, never to return, never to hold my hand again, never again to hold me tight in his arms, never again to kiss my lips, never again will I be able to stare into those big green eyes of his, never again can I see that beautiful smile of his, never again.

I cried for days, for weeks, for months. It was all I could do, I tried going out and being with the people I loved, but everything reminded me of him, there was nothing I could do to get him off my mind. But at the same time I didn’t want to think of anything else other than him, I never wanted to forget him. It was only until one day when I couldn’t take it any longer. I was at school, during third period, I don’t know what hit me, but whatever it was hit me hard. I completely broke down. I was crying so hard I could barely feel my legs, all I knew was that I had to get out of there. I ran out of class and straight to the senior office, I didn’t even sign out, I just ran. I didn’t know where I was going, I just kept running, kept running until I couldn’t run any longer. My legs were sore, my chest was pounding, my eyes were burning but worst of all my heart was aching. Aching and yearning for the one, the only, that could make my whole world one again. It had been aching for so long I was sure there was going to be a permanent hole in it, a hole that I would never be able to repair. But then I looked up to see the one place that didn’t make my heart ache so much, the one place that made my heart weigh a little less, the one place that made my world feel liveable once again. The one place that me and the boy I love spent our last night together. It was as if all of a sudden the dark, stormy cloud, the cloud that has been hovering above my head for so long had been lifted. It was as if everything was almost okay. I finally felt close to him again. I finally felt like we weren’t light-years apart.

I sat on that beach for hours, it had been so long since I had felt that at peace. I sat there, thinking, remembering, all of the memories I had of him, all of the moments that we shared together. Even all of the little things, like the feeling I got when he held my hand, the flutter of butterflies in my stomach when he would stare deep into my eyes, the touch of his lips against mine. I could remember it all. And at that moment, I knew that he never really left me, that he had always been right there beside me, right there to help me in my darkest of moments. Right there in the glowing stars of the night, in the calm sways of the trees, in the oceans waves crushing against the shores, right there inside of me, inside of my heart. And in knowing that, I know that my heart will, until the end of time, be whole. And that one day he will return to me, and we will truly be reunited, we will truly be together forever.