“I’m sinking into depression with no one to take my hand and pull me out of the depths of this madness.” I whisper these words as I stare at my reflection in the school bathroom.
Ugly. Why can’t I just be normal?
I bite my lip and blink back the tears threatening to fall.
Get it together.
Sighing, I grab my Aeropostale bag and walk out the door, just as the bell rings. Silently thankful that I hadn’t had to face anyone at lunch again, I head to my locker.
“Where were you at lunch?” Alisha leaned against my locker, her usual annoyingly nasally voice even higher pitched than normal.
Heart pounding, I slowly answer.
“I had to redo a quiz in Calculus.” The lie fell smoothly from my lips, like so many others I had been telling.
Her face folded into a frown, her tone scolding, “Seriously Piper. This is the third week in a row that you have skipped all the lunches. People are starting to talk. They’re saying…”
“What. They’re saying what?” I try to sound irritated, but my voice is strained, even to my own ears.
I could tell that Alisha noticed, and she narrowed her eyes. “That maybe you don’t even eat. You’re making me look bad. Can you just get over yourself? If you’re hurting yourself, you’re hurting me too.” Her words were like a slap in the face. I’d always known that she didn’t really care about me, but I never realized that it went to this extent.
I had no response, and she realized that. With a look of triumph she flipped her bleached blond hair and walked away.
In looks, we really were quite similar. Both of us have long blond hair and emerald eyes, and with our thin figures and striking faces, we are popular in our skin-deep culture. But that’s as far as our similarities go, is skin-deep. With her self-absorbed nature, it would be a shock to everyone’s system if she thought about anyone other than herself once a week. I suppose that’s how people think I am as well. The difference is, with her, what you see is what you get. With me, when you see outer beauty, there is inner pain. When I receive a compliment, I pity the person stupid enough to bestow a word of kindness on someone as undeserving as me.
I grabbed my Chemistry textbook and tried to push all thoughts away as I headed to class, sliding into my seat just as the bell rang. I was able to focus on the teaching today, because focusing on that let me forget myself for a little while. By the end of the day, I had a horrible headache, I had been getting them a lot lately. Smiling when you want to scream, wanting to run away when you know you have to laugh, is grueling. I guess, at the end of the day, the main difference between Alisha and I is this, her goal is to cause as big of a scene as possible every day. She can’t live without people fawning over her. Then what’s my goal? My goal is just to survive one more day.