A tear traces it's way down my eyes and over my cheeks. It drips down and mingles with the soft, yellow liquid in the packet as I think over my life. Disappointment, happiness, grief... moments which made me who I am came back to me, wafting through me as softly as the fumes that I was inhaling. The familiar pungent odor calmed my nerves and gave me the sense of peace I had been longing for the whole day. I heard the crinkle of the plastic packet as I breathed in...and out.. pulling myself deeper and deeper into a temporary escape.
My breathing quickens, the oxygen depletes. My anxiety almost kills the rush of the chemicals that replace it... I see the white walls that confine my head closing in on me, trapping me, raping my brain. I'm choking, I don't stop...my lungs scream in protest...I push myself... my eyes close...my head swims... And at last I break free. Come up for air and pant like I've run a thousand miles. And I reach out for the yellow tube yet again, to explore the darker recesses of a temporary reality...