By Firelight | Teen Ink

By Firelight

October 17, 2012
By Lady_Teribithea GOLD, LaPorte, Colorado
Lady_Teribithea GOLD, LaPorte, Colorado
14 articles 3 photos 27 comments

The bright, warm, orange fire sent sparks shooting into the night, where they hovered for a moment before they disappeared. The sounds of the horses and cattle, the fire, and the soft noises the cowboys themselves made mixed and mingled into the strange music of the night.
“Any songs for tonight, Jeff?” one of the featureless figures asked.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’ve got a new one, even.” He began a slow, haunting tune that rang through the camp, bouncing off the canyon walls to be repeated in full force.
The figures fell silent, and the tune continued for what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes. As the song finished, they sighed and began to settle in for the night. Above them, the stars glinted faintly, shining their protective light down on those below.


The author's comments:
This was for an English quiz.

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This article has 2 comments.


Nobuo GOLD said...
on Nov. 26 2014 at 3:00 pm
Nobuo GOLD, Dio, Missouri
16 articles 1 photo 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hello

I'd either shorten it to showcase one specific meaning or make it a little longer to give more meaning and emotion, it's a little hard for me to understand right now as it is.

CammyS SILVER said...
on Nov. 4 2012 at 5:29 am
CammyS SILVER, Papillion, Nebraska
5 articles 0 photos 188 comments

Favorite Quote:
No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else&#039;s draft. <br /> H. G. Wells <br /> Don&#039;t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. <br /> Mark Twain

I liked it! I would think about adding more of a plot, like the cowboys were just resting before going off to hunt down some outlaw the next morning. Even if you don't actually show that, the presence of a conflict will (in my opinion) make the story better. But other than that your descrpiction was really clear and not overwhelming and I could really see the whole picture you were painting. Nice work!