He didn’t come the past 7 years, what makes you think he will come this time? I think to myself as I sit alone in my bedroom, looking out the frost covered window at the snow the darkness has brought me last night. The house is silent, so can hear the owls hoot outside, and the cool wind whistle through the woods surrounding the house. I glance over to my neon purple alarm clock. It reads 7:13am. Mom is going to wake up soon. The last thing I want is to hear “Happy Birthday.” It’s just another day filled with disappointment. Waiting on edge all day for dad to possibly show up, waiting until 11:59pm with high hopes that maybe he is just late. But no. It never really happens. I wait a second more and then walk across my cold hardwood floor back over to my purple quilt covered bed. I stare at my green ceiling. I think about the good old times when I was little and mom and dad made me breakfast in bed on my birthday, and then took me out to do anything I wanted that day. The good old days when there was mom and dad not just a mom and a dad. The good old days where we could actually be in a room together. As all the old memories flood my mind I slowly close my eyes once again.
I quickly wake up to my mom and my little sister, Annie walking through my door.
“Happy Birthday Nicole!” They say in harmony. Here we go again I say under my breath. Anne comes over and jumps onto the foot of my bed squishing my feet.
“How does it feel to be 13, Nikki?” Anne asks. With a huge smile pasted on her face.
I push her off my bed, “Like I did yesterday. Now stay off my bed brat.”
Mom comes over to us. “Nicole, you can be nicer. Just because your 13 doesn’t mean you can mouth off to your sister.” She yells at me… again!
“Everyone will be coming at 9 so can you please clean your room. I am going to take Anne to pick up your cake.” She says as she walks out of the room.
“I didn’t realize that the party would be hosted in my room!” I say quietly when I see she is too far away to hear me. I look over at Annie standing at the other side of my bed, staring at her feet.
“Do you think dad will come this year?” She asks looking up at me. I can tell she is holding in her tears.
“I don’t know. Probably not.” I say trying to keep a normal face even though I am trying desperately not to cry. Anne slowly walked out of my room staring at her feet. I hate talking about dad to Anne. She was too little to realize all the pain I went through. It was as if my parents were being taken away from me. She couldn’t possibly understand. I thought.
I walked into my closet to find what “special” outfit im going to wear for my birthday. I browse through the millions of girly, pink shirts my mom bought me against my will and then come to the few shirts that I bought for myself. I choose my favorite green Abercrombie shirt and slipped into a pair of black skinny jeans. I step out of my closet into my disheveled room with dirty clothes, candy wrappers, and old school papers scattered all over my floor. I’ll do this later. I need food! And with that I walk down the carpeted stairs into the kitchen. My mouth starts watering when I see I see a white plate with 3 pancakes and 2 pieces of bacon on the table. I walk over to the plate and selfishly shove the piece of bacon in my mouth. I savor the warm, greasy taste. Mom hasn’t made bacon since she started freaking out about being healthy and all that. The doorbell rings as I take the first delicious bite of my pancakes. I walk over and see my aunt Cathy. My frown immediately turns into a vibrant smile. My aunt Cathy is my dad’s sister and my only best friend. She has been there for me through the whole entire divorce since it seemed like my parents were too busy to even look at Anne and me, and all my other friends said my issues were too much for them to handle. She is like my second mom. She is the only one I feel like I can really truly trust.
“Happy birthday sweetie. I swear you grew a foot since I was here last.” She says stepping into the foyer. I look down at me feet and then look back up. Im about 3 inches taller than her.
“Thanks Aunt Cathy.” I giggle. She looks just like my dad. She brushes her perfect blonde hair out of her face and sits down on the maroon couch in the living room.
She looks at the clock in her phone. “Where is Annie and your mom so early in the morning?” she asks looking around. I sit down on the other end of the couch with her.
“They went to get the cake.” I say rolling my eyes. She looks down at her phone.
“Sweetie I know you feel like your mom is being a pain, but she is trying.” She comforts me. I always wonder how a 21 year old can know so much and is so good at making other people feel better.
“I know, but it’s just hard to forgive her after what happened.” I say feeling the tears welling up in my eyes again. Aunt Cathy is the only person I feel comfortable crying in front of. I guess since she is so young we just… I don’t know… click.
“I know sweetie. Can you do me a favor this year and not get your hopes up that you dad is coming. I know it is going to be hard to hear but I don’t think he is.” She said staring at me with loving eyes. I couldn’t hold the tears in anymore. I could feel my eyes getting puffy, and my cheeks had a damp feeling to them. Aunt Cathy scooted over to me and held me. No one has actually held me since the divorce other than Aunt Cathy.
She rubbed my arm. “I know, I know. It will all be ok.” I tried to dry my tears but I quickly realized that all my makeup was smeared across my face.
I stood up and wiped the remaining tears away. “I’m going to go fix my makeup quick. There are 2 pancakes on the table. You can help yourself.” I ran upstairs almost falling on my face, and looked at my room. You only live once. What’s mom going to do about it? I think as I toss yesterday’s shirt across my room. I fix my eyeliner and reapply my mascara. When I walk downstairs I giggle at the sight of my mom holding a chair still under Aunt Cathy who is standing on it putting up streamers, and complaining about how it is hard to get onto a chair in skinny jeans.
“Twenty-one year olds should be wearing more appropriate clothes than skinny jeans.” Mom lectured. If I were Aunt Cathy I would think of something smart to say back, but Aunt Cathy just keeps on working with her friendly smile. I take my IPhone out to check if dad called me. Nope! Its 9:45 already and no one is here except for Aunt Cathy. Just what I suspected, no one on my mom’s side of the family ever shows up for my special events and of course mom didn’t invite any of my dad’s side of the family even aunt Cathy wasn’t invited. She just showed up!
After an hour, my doorbell finally rings! They didn’t actually completely forget about me!
“Nicole, answer the door!” I heard my mother scream from upstairs. I slowly walk over to the door and open it to all of my relatives from my mom’s side of the family. It’s a good thing aunt Cathy left 10 minutes ago or it would be World War 2 again!
They all walked into the foyer. “Happy birthday.” They all say as they walk by me holding the door open. Most kids say yes everyone is here let the party begin when they see their family walk through the door. I see 20 people don’t really care about me and know nothing about me. They assume I just adore Justin Beiber but I love Skrillex. They never cared enough to ask or learn about who or what I like. My mom doesn’t even know I’ve had a boyfriend for the past 11 months!
Mom calls us all into the kitchen after about 2 hours of everyone watching TV, talking, and of course… ignoring me. Anne gets all the attention even when it is my birthday.
Mom takes the cake out of the white box that says Shady Maple Bakery. IT’S CHOCOLATE! Everyone knows I hate chocolate, and what kind of cake do I get! CHOCOLATE! Can this day get any worse? If dad were here we would be out roller-skating, then he would take me out to eat at Friendly’s. He would take me home and put Nemo on for me while he goes to get the white cake with pretty purple flowers on it, and when he comes back, we would eat the whole thing. Just him and I! And this whole time mom would be on Facebook talking about how she needs to have a relaxing day at the spa because all this birthday stress is getting to her. All the sudden I feel warm tears running down my cheeks. I run upstairs and lock my room. Mom comes running up after me!
“Honey, come downstairs. Everyone came just to see you for your birthday, and im sorry about the cake. They didn’t have any white cake left and I forgot to order one so I just got chocolate. Im sorry!” She tries to sound loving but I can sense the aggravation in his voice.
“That’s the thing; they didn’t come for me. I don’t know what they came for but it isn’t to see me. Most of them haven’t even talked to me since they walked in the door. If dad were here he would have remembered to order the cake that I wanted. If dad were here it wouldn’t be like this.” I cried the last speck of sympathy I had for my mom just denigrate. I finally can realize what it is to be flat out. I have nothing else to say to her. She doesn’t deserve to hear me say anything else.
“Nicole, your family loves you very much, and it isn’t my fault what happened between me and your father.” She started yelling again. I ran over to my bed and screamed into my pillow, nothing help me get my anger out. Why did they have to get a divorce? Everything is ruined now, I lost almost all of my friends, and I hate my family I have to see and miss my family that I can’t see.
That whole night I stayed up in my room crying and looking at old photo albums from when I was little... And happy. I looked at them over and over and over. Why can’t I go back to that time? All I want is to have my family back again. I hear everyone leave at around 7. No one came up to check on me or say goodbye. I want my dad! That’s all I want right now. I couldn’t stop crying they were forever going to flow unless I saw my dad again. That night I cried myself to sleep at 8:30 waiting until the day that I could finally move out of this prison and finally be myself.
That morning I woke up to the doorbell ringing. Who would be here at… I look at my alarm clock… 6:45 in the morning? I think. I wake up and decide it would be best to change out of my pajamas before going to see who is here. I go into my closet and choose my blue and purple stripes shirt, and the skinny jeans I wore yesterday, put them on, and start walking downstairs. Everything is so uncomfortably quiet like in the horror movies when the blonde girl walks down the dark quiet hallway and then the scream jumps out and brutally kills her. I giggle at the thought of that happening to me. I walk into my kitchen to my staring, mouth wide open at my dad standing right in front of me. Tear instantaneously flood my eyes and cheeks and won’t stop. He picks me up into his arms and just hugs me.
All I can choke out through the tears is “You came.” He finally came. Everything I have ever wanted for my birthday is finally here. The birthday that really counts, is right here hugging me after 7 years of wanting and pleading and crying.
“I sorry I haven’t come before. I was scared you hated me because of the divorce, but then Cathy called me and I came as quick as I could. Im sorry.” He said as he started to tear up.
I couldn’t believe it. After even Aunt Cathy said he probably isn’t coming… Here he is. “It’s ok, you’re here now and that’s all that matters. I could never hate you. Your my dad ill love you forever. I missed you so much.” I cried.
“So I think we are due for a major party at Skate away, and Friendly’s. You feel up to it.” He asks with a huge, loving grin on his face. I missed that so much. Someone who is always smiling not yelling at me all the time. All my dreams have come true.
“Of course im up to it. When do you want to go?” I ask secretly hoping we can right now.
“Are you ready right now?” He asks looking at my clothes.
“Yeah dad. Im ready!” I say walking towards the door. “I’ve been ready for the past 7 years.” I wipe the tears out of my eyes and off my cheeks. He puts his arm around me and we walk out of the house together feeling like we’ve been together forever.