I was walking home from school when Jessica, captain of the cheerleading team, approaches me. I try to seem invisible, but it doesn’t work.

She comes up to me and says, “ Hey, I gotta talk to you.” I’m about to say no when she comments, “ I hear you’re dating a girl from another school. What a shame you must be. You are a loser and now a lesbian. Wow, you suck. Have fun with your girlfriend.” I say nothing and turn to leave, my face red with embarrassment.

Yes, I am a lesbian. I have a girlfriend named Sharon. She is about two inches taller than me. She has long,wavy brownish blonde hair. She has olive skin with blue,bright eyes, and is gorgeous. My name is Aishah. I am pretty tall. I have light skin and green eyes with long,brown curly hair. I am stunned she knows. I have kept this a secret for so long, and now Jessica, my enemy, knows! I just go home. My happiness just shattered. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole world knows by tomorrow. Ugh, why am I so different? I don’t belong... I don’t even deserve respect, not even self respect. I feel lonely, and very sad....... can’t I be someone else besides me?

As I get home, I notice mom is here. I enter to mom’s delicious cooking.

“Hey, sweetie, how was your day?” she asks. I sigh.

“Not so good mom,” I reply.

“Oh Aishah, what happened?” she questions.



I reply in a harsh tone “Nothing of your concern Mom. Geez, I am turning sixteen in a couple of days. I am old enough to handle my problems.” My mom’s face drops and no longer has the same happiness it did when I got home.

“I’m sorry mom. It’s just I am not having such a good day, I’ll be in my room if you need me,”I answer. God, why can’t she just leave me alone? I don’t want to talk about it, and I’m sick of being treated like a child! Mom’s can be so, ugh.

I go to my room and get my laptop. I check my e-mail. One message from Sharon saying: “Hey Aishah, I have practice tomorrow and I can’t come. Sorry<3.” Great, just great. My day is turning out to be such a disaster. I decide to reply back: “It ‘s ok, see you soon then<3.” So yeah, I have been dating Sharon for the past seven months now. I met her at a party my mom was invited to. She is the daughter of my mom’s boss.She is great and no one knows about her because well, we go to different schools and I would be made fun of. I go to Northside while she goes to Whitney Young. We don’t see each other much, but that’s okay. I still love her.

By the time I finish homework, dad is here.

Just as I am about to call Sharon , my mom yells, “Dinner’s ready! Come down now!” I rush downstairs.

“Hey dad,” I answer.

“Hey pumpkin, good to see you,” he replies. I am also an only child. Mom wanted to have more kids, but dad said that one was enough so they never had another child. Just me. I wish I had siblings though. We start eating. My parents are almost done when my plate is practically full. I just touch my food and move it around the plate.

“What’s wrong?” asks dad.

“Nothing dad, I’m doing fine,” I reply and sigh.

“Ok, well hurry up and eat your food before it gets cold,” mom and dad say.

I decide to go to sleep afterwards. Next morning, I wake up. I eat my breakfast and head to school after. I hope Jessica, or as I call her, “The Evil Queen” didn’t tell anyone, or try to embarrass me. Things have to be good at school, right?!
On my way there, I see Sierra and Laurie, my best friends in the whole world. We’ve been friends since the kindergarten.

“Hey you guys,” I whisper. They say nothing and just glare at me. Silence fills the air.

“What’s wrong?” I finally break the silence.

Laurie asks, “ When were you planning on telling us?”

“Tell you what?” I ask them.

“That you’re lesbian and you have a girlfriend!” shouts out Sierra.

“Ummm, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. I was planning on doing so, but I was just too scared to do so. I’m really sorry,” I plead.God, I never told them. I feel so bad. But wouldn’t they make fun? I mean, I’m a freaking lesbian! Who wouldn’t make fun of me? Damn it, I am such an idiot for not telling them. Such a coward. I sigh.

Obviously they’re mad because what they say next surprises me, “ Well, too late for that, don’t you think? We thought we told each other everything!” And they just turn and leave just like that. Can this day get any worse?

As I am walking into school, I see everyone just turns and stares at me. I just look down at the floor. I am walking down the halls, when I bump into JD, a friend of mine.

“Watch where you’re going loser!” he shouts loud enough so everyone can hear. I turn and see that everyone is smirking and start laughing so loud that I can barely hear my inner thoughts.Tears roll down my cheeks and I run as fast as my legs can to the girl’s bathroom. I just look at my reflection. Why did JD humiliate me like that in front of everyone? I thought we were friends, weren’t we? I start the water running and wash my face, which is red and blotchy from crying. The bell rings and I realize I am going to be late for English.

I walk fast to English and see that Mr. Arsenal has begun the lesson.

I slowly walk in and he comments “Late for class, Ms. Summers.”

“Sorry Mr. Arsenal, it won’t happen again,” I reply. I take my seat and notice 40 eyes are staring at me. I stare at the floor, shiny like gold. Finally, class ends! I see Jessica approaching me. Not her again!

Jessica comments, “ Hey you lezbo........” I run out of there, unable to hear the rest.The whole day, I get called names and people “accidently” bump into me causing to drop my books. When the bell rings to go home, I am so glad that I practically jump out of my chair!

I walk home, slowly, thinking about how my life has gone terribly wrong in the past days. Just because I’m a lesbian. Why am I even still here, suffering, and in pain? I just hate myself. Maybe I do deserve this treatment and bullying, for being an ugly, stupid lesbian..............

Tears start rolling down my cheeks, I can feel the saltiness in my lips. I open the door, and put my head down; trying to hide my face full of tears.

Mom asked, “ If you need to talk, I’m here, Sweetie.” Ugh, I want some privacy, but nooo, mom wants to know everything. Jesus, can’t she see I want to be alone? I cry for what seems like an hour. I check my Facebook. And I figured out how they found out about Sharon. Someone posted a picture of me with Sharon. Her arms around my waist and my arms around her neck, kissing each other. No wonder, I think to myself. It’s dinnertime and mom tells me to come down. I stay in my room.

She comes up with my plate and asks, “ Honey, what’s wrong?” And I just cry. Not even saying a word.

I finally murmur, “Just leave me alone. I’ll be fine.” So she leaves. Why can’t she just leave me alone? Geez, I don’t want to talk about it! Argh......Thirty minutes later, I decide to eat my food, very slowly. At around 7:45pm, I start doing my homework. I finish it, about half of it wet with the tears I let out. I decide to go to sleep.

When I’m in bed, my dad comes to my room and comments, “I heard you aren’t in such a good mood. Mind telling me why?” And I pretend I am sleeping. He doesn’t buy it, but just goes back downstairs.

The next few days are all the same. I get called names and sit alone during lunch. I get glares and smirks from everyone. I don’t think I can handle it anymore. I had JD,Laurie, and Sierra who were supposed to be helping me and supporting me, but instead are hurting me and commenting about me being a lesbian. When Thursday finally comes,I am dying to get out of school. Things are even worse on Thursday. I walked into Biology Class, to see that even Mrs. Kiefer glared at me!

She just told me, “Late for class again. Detention after school, Ms. Summers.” I tried to argue with her because the late bell hadn’t even rung, but she wouldn’t listen! What is going on here? Why am I being treated like this, by everyone? I just can’t believe even the teachers are treating me like this! Why,why,why?!?

After class was when things had turned ugly. It was lunch period and just as I was going to sit on the floor, when JD “bumps” into me making me spill all my food in my shirt. Laughter roars all around the cafeteria.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” hollers JD sarcastically. I just turn and leave to the bathroom. I try and clean my shirt, but it is still messy. So I turn it over. I wash my face and take off all the tears in my face. I return to the lunchroom area to find everyone looking at me and smirking. A few tears roll down my cheeks again. I wipe them off with my hand. I decide just to leave.

I hear Vicky, JD’s girlfriend shout out, “ Why you crying? Big girls don’t cry!” I pause, and continue walking.I could hear the roars of laughter as I walk away. At the end of the day, instead of going home like I wanted to, I had to go to the Detention Room for a whole hour. It’s only me and James, a boy who used to be my friend.

I ask him, “Hey, James. Why are you in here?”

He just glares at me and harshly responds, “Why do you care? I bet you’re in here for being a fu**ing lezbo.” I look down and reply nothing back, my mouth too dry to open. I just wait until I can finally go home. Ugh, I hate myself so much....

At 4:15pm, Mrs. Alvarez let me go home. I was walking when I heard Vicky and JD.

JD yelled, “You going to meet with your girlfriend? Summers, are you?” I kept walking, trying to ignore them both.

Then he calls out again, “Hey, don’t ignore me! Who do you think you are, Aishah? You are NOTHING, but a fu**ing ugly lesbian! Poor Aishah!”

I just ignored him and ran home, tears in my eyes ready to build a river of pain. My heart is aching. What did I ever do to deserve this!? I want to die, I just hate myself. Maybe I should die..... Why am so different? I try to stomp down these horrible thoughts, but fail to do so. I start crying and my breathing gets harder and faster. I run home. I go upstairs to my room immediately without saying a word to my mom. I slam shut the door that it makes a loud ruckus. She goes up my room,without knocking, and opens the door.

“Aishah,sweetie, we need to talk. What’s wrong?” asks mom. So I start explaining my problem.

“Someone posted a picture of me with Sharon, now everyone knows I’m a lesbian, everyone makes fun of me, and now I have no friends! Even my teachers hate me!” I reply through wails and sobs, choking on my tears.

“Ohhh honey, I am so sorry. That is not right. It’s okay. Don’t let anyone bring you down,” replied my mom. This just made me even more sad. I sob harder and louder. How am I not going to let them down? I just hate myself. Do I really deserve this? Why am I still doing this? I should just end this pain. That way I’ll be in peace, and not suffering anymore..............

“Aishah, honey it’s alright. So what you’re lesbian? I still love you. Your dad and Sharon love you,too. Now, don’t cry. Sharon will be here in an hour,” she says to soothe me. I just continue to wail. Mom sighs. She leaves my room. I go in my drawer and find the pocket knife. I open it. The long,sharp blade touches my thumb. Cutting, it has to be the answer. I’ve heard of teens that do that, so I might as well cut myself. Why do I deserve respect? I deserve to be hurt. I put it deeper in my palm. A long line of blood falls on my shirt. S***. I put the blade on my arm. I put the blade on one of my veins. I dig a bit. That feels good... I want more, the blade is calling out to me. I dig a bit deeper, let the blade feed on my flesh and blood. Mmmm... I’m about to dig more deeper when Sharon walks right in.

“Aishah, what are you doing?” she asks me. I look up, and start crying. She comes to me, takes the pocket knife, and hugs me.

She asks me “What’s wrong? So, I tell her what has happened the last week.

“I am so sorry, Aishah. It’s alright. Please don’t hurt yourself. I love you and I don’t want to see you hurt, or hurting yourself,” she whispers.

“I’m so sorry, but I don’t want to suffer anymore! I want to die. I don’t deserve to live. I’m just a stupid lesbian,” I whisper through my sobs.

Sharon starts crying, and notices that I’m still losing blood. A lot of it. She screams. My mom rushes in.

“ Aishah, no! Not my baby,” she cries out, and starts crying. She calls 911. I black out. I don’t remember anything after that, except that I saw all their faces; full with tears and worry in their eyes.

I wake up and I’m lying on a bed.

“Where am I at?” I ask. I look around and notice Sharon, mom, and dad.

“ Sweetie, are you okay?” asks mom and dad.

My mouth feels dry. I open it and a whisper comes out of it, “ I think so.. I’m so sorry.” And I start crying.

“It’s going to be okay, Aishah. You’ll be going to therapy now, but everything’s fine. You just lost some blood,” explains Sharon in a soft voice. A week later, they let me go. Things at school haven’t changed, but I’ve learned to live with it now that I go to therapy. I go to therapy three times a week. I talk about my problems and my psychologist explains things which makes things much more clearer. I never ever tried to cut myself again

When I get home, I am greeted with a birthday/welcome home get together.

“Happy Birthday,” they all shout. I hug them all. We celebrate that I’m getting better.

“Aishah, we hope you get better,” whispers my mom and dad. I give a weak smile.
Afterwards, I go outside with Sharon. The sun is setting and we decide to go to the park.

“I hope you get better. I love you,” Sharon whispers in my ear.

“I love you,too. Thank you,” I whisper back.

We hold hands. Finally, we stop. She pulls me closer to her.She put her arms around my waist and I put my arms around her neck. We just look at each other for a while. I love Sharon so much. I guess it’s alright to be me. So what I’m a lesbian? We get closer and kiss. Her lips so intense and focused on mine. It is a very long and good kiss.............