Dear Diary,

I completely HUMILIATED myself again today. Ok, so apparently at lunch, my sneaker came untied even though I checked it like one hundred times today so that this very thing wouldn’t happen. Anyway, my shoe was untied, and when I got up to throw my leftover food away, WHAM! I fell face first into my bowl of mac and cheese. On top of that, my glasses just had to fall off too, so I was scrambling around like a blind mouse trying to find them! So now I have a new nickname: Little Blind Mouse. Why do I have to be so short and be pretty much blind without my glasses?




The Laughing Stock of the Whole School,





Samantha

My parents were hopeless. They couldn’t have possibly understood what I was going through! Mom was the most popular girl in school and was too busy to talk to me anyway. She was almost as bad as Brittany, Clair, Ashley, and Bella!
Almost; no one stooped as low as those girls. Brittany, the “Alpha Lion” of the pack, had beautiful, long brown hair, matching brown eyes that sparkled with pure deceit and hatred whenever she got the chance to ruin my day, and on top of that, her five-foot-six towered over my four-foot-eleven, especially when she wore those devil spikes of shoes to match her personality. Clair, Ashley, and Bella, her best friends and my worst nightmares, followed Brittany around like lost lion cubs, waiting for her to give the signal to attack.
Those girls were all “buddy-buddy” with Mom, and she LOVED them. The other day she said to me, “Sam, why don’t you hang out with that Brittany girl? She seems nice.” Think again Mom. “I don’t want you hanging out with Lily all the time,” Mom stated.
“But Mom! I tried to tell you that those girls HATE me! They ruin my life! And secondly, Lily is my best and only friend. I don’t know what I’d do without her!” I told Mom annoyed.
“Well, she’s just a little strange, and I’m not sure she’s good for your health,” Mom said as she wrote in black ink on some important-looking papers.
My health? What does Lily have to do with my health? Inside, I felt angry. Really angry. Like there was a monster hiding in a locked-up closet in my soul, just waiting to come out and attack Mom. But I didn’t give that monster the key. Instead, I stomped out of the office and tried to find Serena. She’ll help me, I thought. I wasn’t even sure if Mom noticed that I left. If she did, I didn’t think she cared. Mom was in her business zone. Whenever she started writing on those important-looking papers with the black ink, she was in her own little world. If a herd of elephants came trudging through our apartment, I don’t think she’d hear them!
As I turned the corner to find Serena, instead of bumping into her, I bumped into Dad. Great, he never understands me either. He’s probably going to say this goofy remark about how I’m his champ and how I’m so perfect and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
“Hey, Champ! How’s my little superstar today?” Dad said as if on cue.
What was I supposed to say? At least Dad cared about me. I didn’t want to upset him.
“Uhh, yeah, sure. Have you seen Serena around?” I asked, trying to think fast.
“Nope, haven’t seen her. She might be at volleyball practice,” Dad said, still wearing his oblivious smile.
“Thanks, Dad. Do you know when she’ll be back?” I said instead of screaming my frustration to the world.
“Any minute now, I think.”
As I sprinted around the corner to the big double-doors at the front of the house, my eyes started to hurt from holding back the tears all night. Before I could even sit down on the steps though, I heard keys jingle in the lock. Because I was so excited to see Serena, it felt like time froze while she was unlocking the door, like an inventor who somehow was able to defy the laws of science and stop time. Too bad I can’t freeze Brittany and slip away without her noticing me. What would it be like to freeze time? My thoughts were interrupted by the joyful, bubbly tone of Serena’s voice.
“I’m home!” Serena cried.
“Serena!” I screamed. “Serena! Serena!”
By now the tears were streaming down my face.
“Hey, Samsters! Bad day?” Serena asked.
“You have no idea,” I sobbed.
“Well, let’s go over to my room, and you can tell me all about it, Samsters.”
“Finally!” I sighed.
I loved Serena’s nicknames for me. They weren’t like the sinister ones at school. These ones were the affectionate, happy sort of nicknames. I sometimes made up names for Serena too, like Serena Gomez, which I thought was a classic.
Serena’s room was like a restoration place for me, maybe how Alice felt when she went to Wonderland, of course without the evil queens and everything. It was just a place where I could get away from all my troubles and float on Cloud Nine. In a way, Serena’s room actually looked like Cloud Nine. With her pastel pink walls, fluffy white carpet, and what looked like Mama Bear’s too-soft bed, I was surprised she still liked it, especially at seventeen.
“Let me guess, something with Brittany?” Serena asked knowingly.
I let her read my diary entry that I wrote that day and explained that Brittany was the one who shouted the nicknames and insults at my face.
“We have got to do something about this!” Serena cried, outrage showing on her face.
“But what?!” I moaned. “I’ve already tried to think of things.”
I watched as Serena paced the floor. I loved when she did that. It meant she was deep in thought, and she only paced when she was thinking about something really important to her.
“That’s it! I’ve got it! Oh, it’s so brilliant! This is wonderful!” Serena rambled on and jumped up and down like a five-year-old.
“What is it?!” I screamed, about ready to burst with excitement.
“You know how you’ve wanted to play on the volleyball team since you were like, five?” Serena asked.
“Uh-huh,” I said, a little worried about where this was going.
“Well, tryouts for the seventh grade team are in three weeks, and I could be your personal trainer, and we can train and train and train and get you all ready for the tryout so you’ll knock their socks off, if they’re even wearing socks, and you can be the setter, just like me, and of course, you’d be a little too short for middle hitter and….”
“Serena, stop! You’re giving me a headache! Let’s just take things one step at a time,” I yelled. Well, my yelling almost sounded like whispering compared to other people’s, so technically, I didn’t yell.
“Oh sorry! Good idea, one step at a time. Well first, we’ve got to get you some knee pads.”
“Can we go now?” I asked excitedly but nervously.
“Of course! Let’s go! We can take my car! I’m so excited, Sammy!” Serena exclaimed.
“Hey, um, Serena?” I asked with a new concern taking its place in my heart. “Do you think we should tell Mom and Dad about this? It’s just that, you know you’re Mom’s favorite, and she might not want me to ‘take the spotlight’ away from you. And Dad might go a little crazy at the games if I even make the team, and I don’t want Brittany to start making fun of Dad too.”
“First of all Sam, you’re going to make the team! I just know it! Secondly, Mom loves you too, just in a different way than she loves me, and you know that! And if it makes you feel better, I can tell Dad to sizzle down a little and not yell at the referee like always does even though he has no idea how to play volleyball. Trust me, I’ve tried to practice with him before and it ain’t pretty!”
I chuckled at that, and all of my fears and worries about Mom and Dad vanished as I started to relax a little.
“Thanks for that, Serena. You’re a huge help. I’m still terrified about Brittany making fun of me, though.”
“Sammy, you don’t have to worry about that! God will have His will done in that situation just like He has in every other. Just don’t worry about it, okay?” Serena said as she grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye.
“Ok, Serena, I’ll try,” I said with a sigh.
“Race you to my car!” Serena shrieked as she dashed out of the room.
“Hey, no fair!” I yelled and tripped over Serena’s dirty laundry.
By the time I reached Serena’s car, she was already sitting in the driver’s seat, buckled and with the radio up loud, like she normally did. I was surprised she hadn’t made herself deaf!
“What took you so long?” Serena yelled over the music.
“I tripped over your mountain of dirty clothes,” I “yelled” back, disgusted because I was definitely in the “neat-freak” category.
“Well, if it’s a mountain, why would you run into it? Mountains are supposed to be HUGE and hard to miss,” Serena laughed jokingly.
“Oh whatever!” I laughed and wished I could force those words out of my mouth to Brittany.
About fifteen minutes later, we arrived at the local sport store, and I walked inside with a new sense of purpose and dignity. Of course, Serena knew right where the volleyball section was and led us to her favorite brand of kneepads.
“I think that this size will be perfect for you, Sam,” Serena said, holding up a pair of black kneepads. “We should get you some cute bows and knee socks and stuff too while we’re here.”
“Oh, all right. I guess it’s better than going home and doing nothing. Are you sure you want to pay for all of this, Serena?” I asked. I didn’t have any of my own money because Mom and Dad didn’t give me an allowance, and I was a little too young to get a job of my own.
“Well, yeah! We want you to look cute as a button at practices and games, don’t we?” Serena exclaimed.
“Umm, sure, I guess so. You know I’m not all into the fashion stuff, though, right?”
“Yeah, I know! It’ll be fun, trust me!” Serena said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the exact spot with the bows and stuff. It was definitely NOT fun! I felt like I was going to die of boredom! Of course, I didn’t tell Serena because she was so excited, but I would’ve even sacrificed failing a test to get out of there!
Finally, we were able to get home, and immediately I flew to my room, pulled out my book, my diary, and my favorite pen and collapsed onto my bed. As I began to write, all of my troubles fled from my mind, and for few minutes, I felt completely tranquil and peaceful.

Dear Diary,
I’m really glad I was able to spend time with Serena today, especially after my awful day at school. I don’t know what I’d do without her! I think I might go crazy and who knows what else! Even if she bores me to death with all her fashionista stuff and whatever, I would do anything for her. Oh by the way, she REALLY wants me to try out for the school volleyball team, and I really want to also. There’s just one glitch: Brittany and her “posse” are the stars of the team, and knowing me, I’ll probably make a fool of myself. I’m just praying that it’ll work out all right.

Your Worried


Friend,



Samantha

“Tomorrow’s the big day, Sam. Are you ready?” Lily asked three weeks later in that quiet, gentle voice she possessed.
“I sure hope so, Lils,” I sighed and absentmindedly stared at Brittany and the “cool” table. Lily noticed and sighed too.
“Sam, I know I say this pretty much every day, but why does Brittany get all the friends and privileges and stuff by being such a jerk? I mean, look at us! It’s just you and me sitting way off by ourselves in the corner! At least we try to show Christ’s love to people! I want SO badly to switch places with her for a day. That way, I’d get to be the ‘Queen Bee’ and she’d get to be in my shoes, which she daily makes fun of!”
“Lily, you have no idea how much I want that too. But we know it’s not right. We shouldn’t try to be seeking revenge. Instead, we should try to love them, as hard as that’s going to be for you and me.”
“Yeah, I know,” Lily stated flatly.
The only thing that followed Lily’s statement was more sighs, occasional snickers from Brittany, and silence.
“So anyway,” Lily said as she tried to spark up another conversation. “I’m really excited that you decided to try out for the team. I’ll come to every single one of your games.”
“Thanks, Lils. I’m so glad that Serena wanted to be my ‘personal trainer.’ I just don’t think I could’ve gotten this far without her or you.”
As the bell rang, I hastily checked my shoes to see if they were tied, then gingerly lifted my tray and stepped towards the trash can.
“Oh no, it’s Brittany,” Lily whispered.
I turned around to see Brittany and in an instant found myself on the floor with ketchup and mustard tangled in my hair after she had pushed me.
“So, Little Blind Mouse, where are your other mousy friends? Oh wait, that’s right, you don’t have any!” Brittany giggled.
“Hey, we heard you were trying out for the volleyball team. Big mistake, loser. Brittany’s been team captain since fifth grade and won’t tolerate losers messing things up,” Bella snickered.
I didn’t even want to say anything. Instead, I left my tray on the floor, grabbed Lily’s arm, and dragged her to the bathroom. The tears let out there for both of us.
“Lily! I’m so sorry I didn’t stand up to say that I have an awesome friend. The words just wouldn’t come out of my mouth!” I sobbed.

“Oh, no Sam! It’s totally ok! I would’ve done the same exact thing! I was so stupid not to stand up for you! You’re not a loser! You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and I’m so glad we aren’t mad at each other!”
“Me too, Lily,” I cried. “The world might be a little too much to bear if I didn’t have you.”
We just stood there hugging each other through the sobs and sadness until finally we realized we should part ways to go to our next dreary classes.

Dear Diary,

Another awful day today thanks to Brittany and “the gang.” Why does that girl hate me so much? But despite all the jeering snickers, insulting names, and those haunting giggles, Lily’s always there. Even if we’re not strong enough to stand up for each other, I know that she’ll be there through the pain and the tears. Too bad she’s not trying out for the volleyball team. Speaking of which, tryouts are tomorrow and I’m FREAKING! I just have to remind myself to breathe, to remember what Serena told me, and to know that God has a purpose and a plan for everything in my life. Wish me luck!

Your Friend That’s Trusting in God,



Samantha

“Samantha Pettiweather, you’re up,” the seventh grade volleyball coach yelled over at me.
Ok Sam, just breath. God has it all under control. “I’m here,” I yelled back with a new sense of confidence.
“Alright, I’m going to throw some balls in the air, and you bump as many at me as you can. Ready?” Coach explained.
“Ready,” I assured her, forcing myself not to look at Brittany.
I didn’t think I breathed at all during the drill, but after I heard my score, I let out a huge sigh of relief. Seventeen out of twenty! Not too bad for a “loser!”

During the rest of my tryout, Coach told me to do similar drills, and I felt extremely relieved.
I practically skipped home in the October rain, soaking in every cool drop that hit my hot, sticky skin. I felt like doing one of those dances from the musical Singing in the Rain, and before I knew it, I was quoting some of the lines to myself and dramatically acting out the parts in my head.

Soon, I was home, and before I even stepped foot in the driveway, Serena ran out to me and breathlessly asked how I did.
“I thought I did really well, like God was the one who moved my arms and legs for me! Serena, it was so much fun!” I screamed.
“Really? I’m so proud of you! Ok, so they should tell you if you made the team by tomorrow. Now all we have to do is wait. And wait. And wait. UGH! The waiting is going to kill me!” Serena sighed.
“Kill you? What about me?” I asked.
“Oh yeah, you too. Sam, I’m just proud of you no matter what. I hope you know that.”
“Yeah, I know.”
We just stood there, embracing each other in the rain and buried in each other’s arms for what seemed like an eternity.
“Um, Serena, can we go inside now? I’m kind of getting wet here,” I joked.
“What? Oh, yeah, sure,” Serena replied cluelessly.

Dear Diary,
Tryouts were today! I feel really, really good about them, but I’m kind of nervous about going to school tomorrow and dealing with Brittany. Why can’t that girl just leave me alone? I mean, I’ve never done anything to her! At the same time, though, I’m excited to go to school because then I’ll see if I made the team, and I can tell Lily all about today.

Your Pumped and Anxious Buddy,



Samantha

P.S. I wore the bows and knee socks and stuff to the tryouts, and I looked like an idiot! Don’t tell Serena, though. I don’t want her to hate me too!



“Attention please! Attention!” Principal Williams yelled across the lunch room, oblivious to the fact that she could use a microphone. “I would now like to announce the names of the girls who made the volleyball team, but in case you don’t hear, I will also post a list by the door."
I couldn’t breathe.
Fingers crossed, Lily and I looked over at each other and managed to do an awkward sort of hug. Here it goes…
“Brittany Everheart: Team Captain and setter, Ashley Corona: middle hitter, Clair Olsen: back row bumper, Penny Nolewell: back row bumper, Molly Cook: digger, Maya Velver: digger, and Samantha Pettiweather: digger.
“WHAT?!” Bella shrieked. “I’m not on the team? UGH! I can’t believe this!”
As Bella stomped out of the room, Lily and I laughed and shrieked as well, but in a good way.
“I knew you could do it! I’m so proud of you!” Lily cheered.
“Thanks, Lils! Glad I made the team, but the only trouble is Brittany and the gang. At least Bella went crying to her mommy,” I laughed.
“Sam, just to warn you, you’re probably not going to hear the last of this from Brittany and especially Bella.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured. Oh well, at least I made the team!”
“Oh great, Brittany alert.”
I sighed and turned so that I didn’t have to face Brittany. I could feel her hot fumes on my back: she was furious.
“Hey, loser, oh wait, bet you think you’re so great taking Bella’s spot on my team,” Brittany jeered as she pushed me. When I didn’t answer or turn around, Brittany said, “I’m talking to you, brat!”
You’re the brat, I wanted to scream at her. Instead I mumbled, “Um, Brittany, um, well, like, um…”
“What? I haven’t got all day!” she screamed.

Well, like…” Take a deep breath, Sam. Just stand up for yourself. I said a short prayer and spun around to face Brittany this time. “Brittany, I um, deserve um, that spot on um, the team just um, as much as um, like everybody else.”
“What did you just say to me? I don’t think any one of those annoying losers deserve the spot on my team, especially you! I’m in charge here, and I’m the only one who’s good enough to even stand on that court!” Brittany spat out at me.
“Um, well, you see, no you’re not,” Lily whispered, trying to stand up for me.
Even with Brittany taunting us like she did on a regular basis, I don’t think I could’ve been happier. Lily and I both finally had a little courage to stand up to Brittany!
“That does it,” Brittany yelled. “No one talks to me that way!”
Before I could do anything else, Brittany grabbed the ketchup and syrup bottles that were on the table from French toast day, opened the bottles, and dumped them all over Lily’s and my heads.

By now, the crowd that had gathered was roaring with laughter. The lunch monitors tried to break up the crowd, but it was no use. Through my tear-filled eyes, I saw one girl who had glasses like me and who didn’t look much taller than I was push her way through the crowd. She had a rag in her hand, and as she bent down to wipe Lily and me off, I looked into her bright green eyes that sparkled with compassion.
“Hi, I’m Molly, Molly Cook. You’re Samantha Pettiweather, right?” she smiled.
“Yup, that’s me. I think that I’ll be playing volleyball with you,” I replied, returning a smile.
“Ah yes! A fellow digger!” Molly giggled and winked.
“Um, Molly, about what you’re doing, I mean, helping us clean up and stuff, I just wanted to say thanks.”
“Don’t mention it! You know, I understand what it’s like to be bullied by Brittany. I was actually her friend when I first came to this school. But then I realized how nasty she really was, so I asked her why she was so mean to the other girls. Believe me, it wasn’t pretty. She went all whack-o on me and started calling me names and stuff too. Before I knew it, this turned into a regular routine.”
“How’d you get her to stop?” I asked, hungry to know the secret of success.
“I just started to stand up for myself. Brittany just can’t stand it when you don’t surrender to her. You know what? I really admire you for tying out for the team, Samantha. I would’ve never had the guts to do that if I were in your shoes.”
“Really? Thanks Molly, for everything,” I beamed. Molly admired me?
I looked over at Lily who was about to cry again from the kindness Molly showed. The crowd had left for class a while ago, so Lily and I felt safe to cry now.
“Thank you so much, Molly,” Lily cried out her gratitude. “No one’s ever been this nice to us before.”
“You are so welcome…Lily, right? I think we have homeroom together.”
“Yeah,” Lily whispered shyly.
“Well, we should probably get going,” I said and glanced nervously at the clock, not wanting to be late because of Brittany again.
“Good idea. I’ll see you guys around,” Molly replied. After thanking Molly again, Lily and I scurried off to our next classes while I daydreamed about being completely free from Brittany, like a bird soaring across the sky after being held prisoner in a cage.
“Ugh! I was hoping that you wouldn’t show up! Why do you always have to make things worse?” Brittany asked later that evening at our first volleyball practice.
“Brittany, she doesn’t make things worse, you do,” Molly said heroically.
“I wasn’t talking to you I was talking to her,” Brittany replied.

Molly encouraged me by nudging my arm and nodding her head. I took a deep breath.

“Why, um, wouldn’t I show up? Um, like I told you um, earlier today, um, I deserve this spot on um, the team as much as um, you do,” I fired back. Well, I guess I didn’t really “fire” it back, but I felt way more confident than I had earlier that day.
“That’s the way!” Molly whispered.
With even more confidence I said, “I’m not leaving so um, you’re just going to have to um, deal with it.”
“Where’d you get all of this confidence, Little Blind Mouse?” Brittany breathed.
“Let’s just say from um, a friend of mine.” I winked at Molly. I was pretty proud of myself because I was rapidly reducing the amount of um’s in my comebacks.
“Duh, I ‘m not stupid like you!” Brittany said before blowing the biggest bubble gum bubble I had ever seen.
“Tell her about your grades,” Molly encouraged me.
“Well, actually Brittany, I have an A+ in um, every subject that I take. Plus, on top of um, that, I’m in um, tenth grade math even though I’m in seventh grade,” I pointed out, a little ashamed of myself for bragging.
“What?! That’s impossible! How’d you…? Oh never mind!” Brittany huffed and stormed away.
“You did it, Sam! You did it! Now just do that every day, and Brittany should be off your back in no time!” Molly cheered.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” I applauded Molly.
From that point on, I knew that every insult Brittany threw at me, every time I fell flat on my face, and every time I tried to wash ketchup and mustard from my hair in the bathroom sink at school, someday I’d be able to conquer her with the help of my friends.