We met when we were little. We had the whole "You guys are gonna get married when you older" thing going on. Every Christmas, we would match. And every birthday, we would buy gag presents. Of course we met because of our parents. A long lasting friendship through them that was carried down to us. Jason and I, me and Jason. 

We started dating when we were 16. Everyone thought we took too long- I didn't think it then, but I agree. He was a typical all-American boy with medals to please his dad and manners to make his momma smile. He was as gorgeous as a boy could be. Breathtaking smiles, warm laughs, golden hair that was brighter than the sun, and hands that felt just like God. I always thought he was too good for me. Most of the girls at school did too.

I was never good looking. Just average. Dark mangled hair, pimples always on my face, I never knew how to do makeup and my clothes were never fashionable. He loved me just like that though. 

We broke up on my birthday. Mindy Crawford was kissing him and I knew they would be a better couple than we were. He denied it but I could see the lust in his eyes. God, what a gag gift.

We never really got into another relationship after that. He dated Mindy until college came around, and then he dumped her ass just like he did to me. I dated a couple guys here and there but I never really felt like I loved them. 

Jason went off to college and I did too and we were half way across the world and I was living life full of people and energy drinks and he was living life full of parties and booze. We never lost touch and I'm really thankful we didn't.

It was winter when I decided I wanted to try to love him again. I couldn't get him out of mind and I don't think I'd be able to die with the curiosity on my mind. I was older and better at taking chances and I felt more confident in my skin. I thought it'd be easier for him to love me. 

It turns out I didn't like who he became. It's such a shame because I knew we could've changed the world. What a shame.


(side notes:)
He was smart. Way smarter than me. He would do my math homework while I painted his face onto a canvas. He would get me A's and I'd get him something to look at.