Mother Teresa once said that “Joy is a net of love in which you can catch souls”, but every time try to love, I always seem to find the holes and the priceless pieces of lives slip through my fingers. And I thought that if I used love, I’d receive love back in exchange for what I’d given, but all I pulled up was a catch of sorrow and despair to make my meal from. But if there’s anything I’ve learned from the streets, the slums, the suburbs, and the city, it’s that God provides.

And it’s as though the world wants to warn me of all the troubles I’m going to face before they’re thrown at me. Tread lightly, they say, because you never know who’s going to stab you in the back. Be careful, they say, but go ahead and wear your heart on your sleeve, cause we all know it’ll be utterly shattered by the time you’re dead anyway. It’s as though the world is just ready to tell you how bad it is, and to watch out, cause it’s coming and it’s not slowing down. Everything from shampoo to cigarettes is telling you to live your own life. But the life I live isn’t my own, and it had to have been given before I could receive it. Without us, they say, you’re better off being alone, because you’re not attractive enough to get anyone without us. But the things is, it’s not my life to mess with, cause I didn’t create it in the beginning, and I sure as heck ought not to be molding it all by myself now.

Cause no matter how many answers the world gives to your problems, none of them seem to be quite right, because you know that every time you open your arms to catch the raining gifts all around you, all you come up with is, at most, a handful of disappointment, and sometimes not even that. Cause the world loves to shower you in disappointments and is just waiting for you to grab one so that wood, nails, and footholds can be attached and you can be climbed up and run over. And they don’t care about how much damage they do; believe me, I know. But I also know that through black eyes and rain showers, there’s always a silver lining and a whole lot of comfort and chocolate waiting at the end, cause through it all, God provides.

The devil’s dream is to be a puppeteer, and in a world of strings, it’s not that hard. He wants to use us until we’re old and worn and even our wrinkles don’t want us anymore. And then, in all his courteousness, he kills us to make us feel better about having turned away from the one person who could have helped you. Call it fate, call it destiny even, but when I say God provides, I mean it. So with his shears he comes and cuts then cords that bind us, saving you from the pits of screams that you can still hear in your dreams. Cause the enemy’s obstacle course may be for all runners, but the people with the doves showing them the way will always make it through. Not always the others. But when you believe, God provides.

So while a path is set out for me, the world’s waiting for me to make a misstep and to rip my feet on the shattered glass of sins all around me. But no matter how many times you slice your toes, God always lets you back on his path, and your cuts and bruises are always healed. And you continue walking, and God provides.

So no matter how hurt I may become, I’m always provided a needle and thread to sew my net back up and cast it out again, so I can catch as much as I need to sustain me. Because my needle of Faith is always strong enough to stitch back together the holes Doubt leaves in my Love. Because no matter how bad it gets, no matter how many holes I’m stuck sewing, I’ve always got someone to refill my thread. Because God provides.