The rain battered down on my raw skin, stinging everywhere it hit. I was soaked to the bone, the cold seeping through my layered garments and into my soul. This was such I bad idea. The wind was whipping my drenched hair across my face, and droplets rolled down my eyelashes, making my vision blurry.


My feet slapped against the hard asphalt as I raced through the foggy deserted streets. Water rushed into the gutters, roaring in my ears, blocking any real thoughts from forming. I was numb, inside and out. My legs were burning, a livid fire searing its way through my limbs, but I didn’t care.

I had already made up my mind. There was this internal force propelling me forward, toward my downfall, but I kept going. I felt like I was missing one small piece of me, and I wouldn’t be whole, wouldn’t be able to let it go once and for all, if I didn’t do this.

I turned the corner, and through the sheets of precipitation, I could vaguely make out three houses on the right side of the street. The two on the corners were tenebrous and deserted, but the dwelling in the center called to me like a beacon. It shone through the miserable night, and my eyes were sharp as they took in the structure. It was a simple two-story house, the top windows lit and shadows flitting behind curtains.

I slowly padded to the front of the walkway, my motions hesitant and unsteady. I stood shivering, the cold finally registering, the rain leaving me pathetically grounded in the middle of the street. This was it. I stood poised on the precipice, ready to take the leap. I wanted to run screaming into the house, to breakdown in tears, to say, “Was this real?” Do you ever remember me? On the inside lay my missing piece, but at the same time I thought, What if I was wrong? What if I was nobody? What if I opened myself up just to be put down?

I could feel my heart crumbling in on its self, the dark skies pushing in, suffocating me. I stumbled backward, my head spinning. A slow tear was ripping its way through my chest, leaving me mangled in the inside. I couldn’t do this. Not after all this time. Not after I should have moved on.
Choking back a sob, I tremulously began to tread backwards. A curtain moved. I saw a figure peering out of the glass. Panicked, I spun on my heel and tore off down the rain slicked road. At the corner I halted, catching my breath, clearing my head, and as I glanced back toward lone open window, I caught a flash of sparkling blue eyes.

Turning back toward my normal, tedious life, I pushed back the emotions rushing to my head. I trapped them under lock and key, shoved them to the darkest, dullest part of my mind. Never again, I thought. Never again.