As I walk through the doors the smell of sweat and perfume fills my lungs immediately. Yup I’m in a high school. Walking through the hallways and being jumped is almost better than being beaten at home.

I have an older brother, Danny. He’s a senior and I’m a sophomore. He wouldn’t stand up for me. “Freak!” “Stupid fag!” I hear across the halls. The name calling’s getting old, “Find another way to be a prick!” I yell. No surprise I go home with a black eye, again.

At home mom slurs her words and has a beer in her hands. She slaps me across the face because I failed a test again. My brothers eyes are glazed over and red. I can smell the weed as I glance over at him. He passes me a blunt. It’s my first but definitely not my last.

It’s been a year and mom’s drinking even more. She’s talking her anger out on me, instead of me and Danny. I keep skipping class to avoid bullying but they follow me and the teachers do nothing. “Kill yourself” I hear every day by everyone. Taking their advice is my only option. “Whether I’m in heaven or hell at least I won’t be alone” I whisper.

There’s no one home. Now’s the perfect time. My brother hides a gun in his drawer but it’s in my hands now and pressed against my head. Tears streaming down my face. “I can’t do it!” I’m screaming at the top of my lungs. I run outside of the house and begin running to town to relax.

I see a beautiful girl staring at me. She’s tan, full figured, has blue eyes, and is coming my way. “Excuse me, I’m Elaina. I’m moving in with my aunt for a while but I’m lost. Do you know where 493 Westward drive is?” She says. “Umm... Yeah that’s next to my house” I respond. “Perhaps you could tell me your story on the way? Sorry but I can tell you’re upset with something.” Elaina says. “Fine I’ll start with my name. I’m Steven.” 5’7, blue eyes. Black hair, and dying.

As I lay in my bed I can’t believe I told someone everything about me. It doesn’t matter. She probably thinks I’m a freak anyways. I’m going with the pills this time, it’s faster. I take all the Advil in the container. “It’ll all be over soon” I repeat. Everything’s spinning and then it all goes black.

I wake up in the hospital and Elaina’s at my bedside. She’s holding my hand, crying. “I’ll always be here” she sobs. From that moment on I realize I love her. One more year and I will propose. It’s my senior year and bullying has finally stopped. Elaina is now my everything and graduation is soon, it’ll happen then.

A week after graduation and I’ve already bought a ring. We’re at the park and the sun is shining off of her face. I get down on one knee and confess my love. She begins to cry before answering. “Tomorrow I move back to Maryland and Steven; you’re honestly just a friend to me. I’m sorry Steven” she says. I’ve never seen her since. I’m writing her a note to tell my story to the world. I’m sending it tonight and then, I’m gone.

***********************************

As I arrive in Maryland I found out my mother has died. I’ve decided to live in a hotel for now. Two months later I receive a letter, it’s from Steven!

“The air I breathe is clean now. No more shall I mourn, I’m free from this hell they call Earth. I thought you loved me. No one ever loved me so why would you. I do not grieve, though you will. Tell my story for it was you who also hurt me. Tell my mother, brother, everyone about my life to truly free me.

Sincerely, Steven.”

“At that moment I realized there may be some sincere people in this world. But this world is not for me either. The urge for sincerity kills me.

Sincerely, Elaina.”