I had to change. I had to make a change. I lost my family, I lost my house, and I lost my state of mind. I am fifty years old living in a cardboard box next to a dumpster in New York City. The only thing I had left was my best friend…a bottle of whiskey.

My name is Jack; my life has been a series of unfortunate events. My family was and still is very wealthy; and I was raised by the maids in my house, I saw my mother more than I saw my father. I lived in Burbank, California for most of my life, but when I turned 18, I took my $20,000 from my dad and didn’t look back.

I moved to New York, I knew deep inside I always belonged there. I attended New York University as a psychology major, and met the love of my life Nicole Rosen. I knew right when I saw her I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.

The first time I saw Nicole was the third week of my sophomore year of college. She was walking along the sidewalk, she was holding a Starbucks coffee, and she had a book bag strapped around her right shoulder. I was too busy focusing on my phone; I walked right into her and spilt her coffee.

I gained the confidence to ask her out on a date, we were together ever since. A year later I asked her to marry me. She agreed, but we both decided to wait until we graduated to actually get married. In the year of 2004, we got married.

That year we had our first baby boy, named Luke. He was truly the love of my life. We fortunately got to spend the next four years together, but then my whole life changed, and not for the better. November 14, 2008 would be the last time I ever see Nicole and Luke.

It was a Friday afternoon, just like any other Friday afternoon, wake up, eat my world famous waffles at the dining room table, Nicole takes Luke to daycare, and then from there we both go to work. Nicole and Luke always left before me, when I got into work there were two police officers standing in my office.

“Are you Jack Mint?” the officer said sternly.

“Yes, is everything alright?”

“I’m sorry but your wife Nicole and your son Luke were killed by a drunk driver this morning. I am so sorry for your loss.”

I couldn’t respond. My clients stood there and watched me demolish, I couldn't breathe I collapsed to the ground and let out a roaring cry, I have never felt such pain in my life. I was on the floor screaming and crying. After realizing what just happened I sprinted out of the office, and ran to my car. I don’t know where I was going to go all I knew was that I wanted to get far away from here. The two cops chased after me and held me down, and told me it was unsafe for me to be driving.

The officer took me home, but I didn’t want to go home.I was never good when it came to facing my fears, I always ran. I ran from my mother and father, and now I’m running away from my life. I told the cops to drop me off at my favorite bar “the clumsy man”. They thought it was a bad idea, but I just needed one drink, that’s all I needed. But after that night I didn’t stop…

It’s been a year since the passing of Nicole and Luke. If I didn’t show up to work drunk every day, which would have led to me keeping my job, and having a stable lifestyle, I just couldn’t recover. That brings me back to the beginning, being homeless and an alcoholic is definitely a struggle. But let me set one thing straight, I am not poor, I chose to be homeless and a drunk. To be honest I want to die, so rather than committing suicide I figured let the cold New York winters kill me, or wait for another homeless guy to kill me and take my booze. I know that sounds awful but I have nothing else to live for. My family was ripped away from me. I wish I could get better, and I wish I had motivation to get better, but I don’t. Therapy has never been an option, I mean I'm a psychologist, well I use to be.

My daily routine consists of waking up, taking my walk to 7 eleven I use their bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Im not like most homeless drunks, I have money, so I always walk across the street to starbucks and order a small hot coffee, with a bacon egg and cheese on a croissant. Then I make my way around, say hello to the New York commuters and then headed back to 22nd street right next to my dumpster.

There was a women walking past me, she was tall, her hair just touched her shoulders, she was wearing a long black pea coat, and looking at her phone, she looked at me and threw me a business card, and kept walking.

The business card was gray her name was in the middle of the card Lucy Mills. I have no idea why she would throw me a business card with just her name and phone number. The next day I decided to call the number. She told me to come to the next AA meeting, she will be holding.

I decided to go, I knew I needed help, even though I didn't want the help, I couldn't deny the offer. When I got to the meeting there were a couple other people, the one person who stood out the most was a young girl, maybe 18 wearing a rollingstones shirt and skinny jeans, she was so young, I couldn't believe she was at an AA meeting…

I felt very uncomfortable in the beginning but then when people started opening up about their lives and the troubles they have been having it made me feel more comfortable. Then it was my turn, I really did not want to share my life story, but then again I haven't actually talked to someone for the past year. Telling strangers what happened to my family was probably the hardest thing i have ever had to do. I couldn't hold back the tears, but talking about my family made me realize that I needed to change not just for me but for my wife and son.

5 months later…

It has been 5 months since my first AA meeting, I have recently moved back to California, and have been living with my parents. I have missed them they didn't hear from me for a year, so when I showed up on their doorstep two months ago, they never looked so happy. My mother grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug I have ever recieved in my life. The last two years of my life have been hell, but I think the recent events happened for a reason. I have started my own firm in Burbank, and plan on helping others who are struggling. I made the change. I thank god, and Lucy everyday for throwing the business card at me.