The taste of liquor burns as it trickles down my throat. The constant ache in my chest slowly dissolving with every gulp I take as his face slowly fades into a blur, but the words still will not go away. The look on his face made my heart swell but his words shattered my heart and my hope at every being more than worthless. Someone wronged by society and left in the dark of the world with no one to hold me and wipe away the never ceasing flow of tears.

In perspective I should have stayed out of a delicate situation such as the one at hand, but my urge to control the fall down of someone's else's life was to overpowering. Sadness always needs a companion and destroying the joy of others was my friend. Until, it was no longer a game, more of a suicide mission. Someone was bound to be hurt but I never entertained the possibility that it could be me. I should have seen the warnings, realised that when the fire was scorching my feet, reminding me if I go any further I could never take it back that I should have stopped, but I took that step, then another and another. 

The first time our eyes locked I knew that the naive boy beyond those strong eyes was going to be hurt by me, I was bound to ruin him. Sticking true to my beliefs I have done just that. Assisting on the desolation of his parents marriage wasn't enough, I can not blame his mum for paying me to be his rock, although she should have known better after my last pillage left her broken.

At the beginning it was fun, receiving money to flatter her young son with comments to feed his overgrown ego, but soon the extent to which his confidence was funded by became abundantly  clear.

In the dull mist upon the sloping field, the deal was struck. Completely unaware of his parents secrets he stood proud with an arm locked around his short mothers shoulders who's secrets weigh her down. I watched the scene from afar finding amusement over the boy who is technically older, who knows nothing of reality as a result of his families constant bubble wrapping. After stalking my prey it was time to pounce and leave behind a trail of broken hearts and shattered memories.

Casually I speak so not to alarm the deer standing tall, but on the inside cowering away from my tough exterior. After the inquisitive questions my secret weapon arrives in the form of a scarcely dressed thirty year old who's main aim in life is to challenge others marriages after her own relationships were tarnished by adultery. But no soon had she arrived she left swinging her hips in time to her phone constantly ringing with death threats from present lovers wife's.

He thought his family was perfect and that he parents were perfect who were always beautifully dressed and wearing a smile. When his father suddenly left he thought it was because he went away for work, but behind this facade was a story which would rock his world. His mother, Anne, could no longer face standing within this short distance of myself and her pleading eyes flickering back and forth was more of an annoyance then a prevention of what I was preparing to make her tell her son.

"So, Anne, what are you running from?" I taunted, as she ran with tears straining down her face at the sight of her son, even looking with lust in my direction. It didn't bother me, I had enjoyed the stares he was giving me, for a sweet moment in my life I had felt wanted by somebody. Leaving the glances I stalked off back to my car, feeling accomplished yet deflated as my presence didn't bring as most grief and destruction as I had anticipated. As at my car she leaned, lost. With a small payment and a promise of a continual allowance I prepared myself for what was ahead.

The stingy air of the bar is becoming intoxicating and the light music mocking my lonely soul. I left to wander the dark, abandoned streets, concentrating in the sky to mask my tears with the heavy down pour of rain.

After days of torturous hours spent filling his head with compliments to stir away from the looming confessions of his fathers death preventing the inevitable car crash. The betrayal from his wife was too much to cope with and after drowning his sorrows in a glass of whiskey he knew it was time to turn out the light. The son knew know just what his 'perfect' family really was but his belief of soul mates helped him cling to the surface of the overpowering waves. Soon my feelings towards the boy engrave into my heart, locking it and giving him the knife and control.

The night at the docks was indescribable, the way we fitted like a puzzle, eloping each other in pure ecstasy. That's when I physically took his innocence, his touch still lingers on my skin. I shouldn't have taken that step and maybe it wouldn't be so painful to remember him. Unfortunately, the liquor has made it impossible to piece together his face, the innocence it held and the slight beard growing along his jaw bones.

After, realising that all hope for my redemption was in his love, I took my car and started driving to into no where to turn out my light.