September 2nd – 5:04am

I want you to know that this is the last letter I will ever write to you – the last time I will ever contact you or think of you or even admit that you were once a part of my life.

I must admit that I will miss you. You comforted me when I felt alone and broken and I know you would never leave my side. I feel a little guilty abandoning you, but having you in my life is too much to bear.

Out in the real world, you only bring me misery. You’re the one that makes people look at me strangely. You’re the one who makes them laugh at me. You’re the one who makes me feel out of place; you make me feel different.

And I hate it.

I’ve been waiting forever to say goodbye to you, but now that I finally have the chance, I’m honestly kind of afraid.

I mean, I don’t like you, but it’s not like I don’t love you. It’s not like you never brought me happiness.

You made me happy! You really did.

But I have to let you go now. You’re only going to drag me down. And in a harsh world like ours, where everyone is constantly struggling to swim in a pool of sinking people, I refuse to let you drown me.

I’m sorry.

Farewell, old friend.

No offense, but I hope I never see you again.

Love, The New and Improved You
xxx

After writing down my final words, I close the journal and walk into the bathroom, taking the bag of items I just bought from the mall with me. I pull out foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, blush, and every other type of makeup that could transform me into something better.

Sighing, I stare at myself in the mirror. From my stringy brown hair and beak-like nose to my acne infested face and pale thin lips – I am absolutely hideous. I tentatively touch the rim of my glasses, which take up half of my face. They call me the ugly duckling at school, and I know exactly why. I look like an underfed crow with overly large eyes.

I pull off my glasses and carefully set them on the counter of the sink. The world around me becomes slightly blurred, but I don’t care. If it meant fixing myself, then I can easily continue living in a blurry world – it’s not like there’s much to see.

I begin applying the cosmetics to my skin, slowly watching as my old hideous face becomes beautiful. It’s like magic! Suddenly, my acne disappears, my face isn’t blotchy, my lips become full and my eyes pop.

I’m not myself anymore – I am someone much better.

And as my new face is being formed, so is my personality. I start filling myself up with false confidence, forcing myself into the mindset of a totally different girl. A girl with charm, wit, flirt and a hidden dark, venomous side just incase anyone wanted to mess with me because this time I’m going to stand up for myself.

Today is the first day of highschool, and I am going to do everything I can to make sure they love me.

No matter who I have to be.