It hurts to walk around everyday, to hear them whispering behind my back. I hear my name and wince as the knives carve my flesh. Being mocked and berated, persecuted for who I am because of You, I know it's supposed to happen, that I'm doing something right. But it doesn't take the sting out of the wound.

Tears stain my pillow at night and when morning comes I fight the urge to scream until there's nothing left. I have so much to be happy for, to be joyful about, and I am. But it still hurts when they judge me for it.

According to them I'm stupid. According to them I'm brainless and ditzy. I shouldn't be so happy all the time because it means I'm weak. I shouldn't be so joyful because it means I'm dumb. They don't see how every word they say cuts right into me. Could You stop the pain? Do You hear me?

I know You're there, You always are. I just want someone to hold me when it hurts too much. I just want a hand to hang on to when it becomes too much. It feels like with each passing day I break a little more, and soon they'll have completed their task. I know You'll never give me more than I can handle, and that my reward is greater there than it could ever be here, but can You hear me?

It feels like no one cares anymore; I know they don't like me. I know I'm not accepted. But do they have to tell me every single day? Do they have to constantly make remarks about how I care about everyone, the way You do? I know You're there, and You see my tears, but can You tell me that You hear me? Can You show me that You're near?