There's no easy way to start this. So I'll just jump right in. My mom died in a car wreck. I was there that night and I remember it clearly.

The bright lights blinded me; the squealing tires were like a cruel melody and the eternally cold rain made me shiver. Mom had just picked me up from a violin lesson that I insisted on going to despite the forecasted rainstorm. It was dark, very dark for five pm on a summer night. The other car had bright headlights and I guess we did too. Mom couldn’t see, the other driver couldn’t either and both cars swerved. Mom died on impact and I had almost no injuries. I don’t know about the other driver.

That was almost a year ago.

         My name is Harmony Matthews and this is my story. I wish I could deny that the wreck ever happened but I can’t. News of the accident spread like crazy; hitting the front page of every major paper within a fifteen mile radius. That’s why I hate school so much; everyone either hates me, or pities me. I hate sympathy and well who likes being hated? Not me, that’s for sure. Truly, I can’t say everyone hates or pities me. I have two best friends who do not. Mark who I have a major crush on; and Heather who is my rock. That’s not to say that they agree with my behavior. They don’t, of course. In fact, they hate how I am always so melancholy. But I couldn’t help but stare bleakly at the white walls. Teachers don’t bother me when I do; they just give me the notes I missed during that time. I sometimes wonder what went wrong. I’d had the perfect life before; a passion for which I had equal skill, confidence friends would die for, and a family that was a unit. In short, I was happy. Now I have none of that. I’ve tried other hobbies; sports of which I have not passion or skill, art which I have no skill in, and writing where I have no passion. I have no confidence at all; I can’t even tell my best friend that I like him on a deeper level. And my family has no unit; it’s just Dad and I now. And he works all the time. In short, I don’t feel happy anymore, I feel depressed.

         I step out of my Chevy Silverado and frown at the gothic-looking school. I didn’t understand the point in going at all, but my dad insisted that it was necessary. It didn’t do anything for me, and the stupid school required that every student take a certain number of electives or sports. Mine used to be music, but I quit that three years ago. That’s when my mom died in the car wreck. I watch as Heather and Mark pull in on either side of me. Heather is gorgeous compared to me. She is tall with dark hair and blue eyes. Her hair isn’t a frizzy mess like mine; it is perfectly straight. Dark and stunning compared to my red, curly hair, green eyes and average height. She draws everyone’s eyes just getting out of her Ford Escape. ”Good morning Harm!” she nearly screams when she spots me. “Nothing good about it, Ther” I tell her as Mark gets out of his jeep. Heather told him I liked him, and he’s been trying to get me to admit it. I won’t; I mean who would like a total pessimist like me? Not a soul, that’s who. Not that it mattered; I’m not interested in the date life. I’m not interested in anything. The school day goes quickly and soon enough I’m headed to lunch. However, in order to get there I have to pass the band room.

      I try to walk fast but can’t. Stupid hallways are too narrow and stupid peers always in the way. Why can’t they just move so I can run already? I don’t want to walk past the band room, I don’t want the reminder of what I lost. But it’s too late; I am directly in front of the room and everyone seemed to have frozen.

   “Harmony, listen to this.” And beautiful music flows out of the flute mom is playing. “So beautiful, Mom. How do you do it?” I respond. “It’s easy darling, and you can do it too!” she replied enthusiastically.

“Harmony. How was the lesson?” Mom asks. “It was amazing! I really love the feel of the violin in my hands. I’m glad I went tonight.” I reply. “Me too, sweetheart.” she says smiling at me. Then there are bright lights.

      I jerk out of the flashbacks and notice that the hall is empty. Of both students and teachers. And even though I know I’ll be in a world of trouble, I head to student parking. Hopping in my car I start the engine and head home.

      Once I get there, I see a big package on the front step. It’s not huge, but it’s big enough that it won’t fit in the mailbox. And it has my name on it. Wondering what it is, and hoping it’s from a college I quickly slip inside and to my room. There, I open the package and drop it as I read the sender’s address. Barnard College, it says. Barnard is primarily a music college. It’s where my mother went and where I wanted to go when I still loved music. The package includes a letter and several other things. The letter starts out…

Dear Ms. Harmony Matthews

I have heard that you are as great a musician as your mother before you. And given the tapes sent, I see that it is true. However, since the board insists on auditions, we—I—ask that you come on May the seventeenth for an official audition….

      May 17th? Barnard? Audition? I don’t understand what is going on. I never sent a tape to them. But then, that would mean that someone else did. But who? It wouldn’t have been Dad, so maybe Mark? I have to know, so I open a private message on my phone and ask him. He admits it of course, and apologizes too. He doesn’t mean that though. I know he doesn’t.

          I don’t know what to do, to not go is wasting someone’s time. But to go, I’d be forced to play music again. Wait when is the seventeenth? I don’t know… ah the calendar! No, the seventeenth is tomorrow! Shoot! I kind of have to. But what to play? Mom’s song would work, and I don’t even have to practice that. So I guess I’ll just play that. Now to get my flute ready.

        It’s in the attic so I have to trudge all the way up there, but I make it in one piece and start looking. There are too many boxes labeled music to know which would hold my flute, so I just look in them all.  The first six held sheet music, but the seventh held instruments. Not mine, but there was a flute in there. My mom's obviously and for a second I debated on using hers instead of mine. Then decided against it and quickly found my own.

      I wake early the next morning and look at the clock. Six am, and the audition was at nine; so now I have just three hours to not only find my concert cloths, but convince my dad to take me to the coffee shop near Barnard so I don’t have to tell him where I am actually going. Oh and I have to shower and figure out how to hide my flute as well. So I hop in the shower and think. How to get passed Dad's questions? How to hide the flute? And how to explain the dressy clothes? Well the explanation of dressy clothes could be easy,; I could just text Mark and tell my dad that I was going out with Mark. It'd be nice to have the support too. And I could hide the flute in my coach bag; it'd be a little hard, but I'd manage.

       With those thoughts in mind I dress in a black dress and heels before heading to the kitchen. There, I whip up eggs and text Mark.

H- Hey you got me into this. Come with me today.

M- Kay, meet ya there.

H- Actually, meet me at the coffee shop just down the road from Barnard. Dress nice.

M- No problem. See ya there. Xo.

      Okay, that is odd. Since when does he text, "xo?" Does that mean something? Of course not, it wouldn't make sense. Whatever, I don't have time to mull on if Mark likes me. I have an audition and even if I hate the idea; I won't blow if off. Mark made a commitment for me and I will honor it.

        Speaking of which, Dad inhales deeply as he steps into the kitchen. Then stops dead and frowns. "Why are you wearing that, Mony?" I smile as I turn around. "Mark and I are going out together. It's not actually a date, so I told him I'd have you drive me. We’re meeting at that coffee shop near Barnard's." He just nods, smiling. "Then let's eat and go."

       Once in the car, we drive quickly and arrive safely within fifteen minutes. Mark is already waiting and so I kiss Dad on the cheek and get out of the car.  "I can't believe you did this to me" I hiss at him. "Sorry, Harm. It's just, you've been so down and I hate to see the one I love like that."  Wait what? "What are you saying?" I whisper. "I'm saying that I love you, Harmony. And that I can't stand to see you like that. Ha, you have such a great talent, and I'll tell you now; your mom wouldn't want you to quit that because you feel guilty" He says with growing passion. I smile a true smile and hug him, "I love you too, Mark. But if I'm doing this, we gotta go!"

      So we do, and arrive five minutes early. We meet the board members and the admissions officer; then go at once to the audition. “You’ve got this, Harmony." I smile, and put my flute together to play. "What are you playing Ms. Matthews?"

      "My mother's melody. She calls it, The Love of Harmony” And so I play. while doing so, I remember every time Mom and I played together. When I finish, I have tears streaming down my face, but everyone is cheering. "Ms. Matthews, we at Barnard College are happy to have you aboard. We start much earlier than other colleges, but you already know that. I'll contact you with all the information you'll need."

       And that's why, now, I am walking into my co-Ed dorm. " You must be Harmony Matthews. I am Jeremy Carter. Your roommate." I turn and smile happily, "Hello, pleasure to meet you." He is absolutely gorgeous, with spiky blond hair and emerald eyes. He almost beat Mark in that department; almost, but not quite. "So, what's your first class?" I smile, "Music history." His eyes light up and I know he does too." From there, we learn that we have all the same classes.

      The rest of the week goes on gleefully and almost too soon, I am home for the weekend. I have fallen hard for Jeremy in the days since classes started and I am dreading having to tell Mark. I knew I had to, but I didn't relish doing so. Unfortunately, he is waiting when I pull up. "How was week one, Harm?" He asks softly. I know he missed me; I can see it in his eyes and I missed him too. "It was amazing! You wouldn't believe, Mark, I don't even know why I quit playing in the first place. But I have something to tell you, and I'm not sure you'll like it. Mark, I met someone and I fell for him. I'm really sorry and I-" he interrupts me, "Harmony, honey, it's fine. I knew it would happen. I wanted it to happen, Ther and I didn't know how to help you and I thought that if you met someone else it would help." He smiles and kisses my cheek. "So go for it, honey. I'll be fine. And I'll always love you." Now I smile, happy that he understands. But I had to be sure he knows that he helped. "You did help, Mark. You helped a lot. I wouldn't be where I am today without you."

Then we stood on the curb talking.

“Here Harm, take this,” he says. It’s the locket his grandmother gave him a week before she died.

“Mark, I can’t. That’s your grandmother’s and it means the world to you.”

“And that is why you can. You mean the world to me too, and it’s the only thing I can imagine giving you.” he’s serious.

“But, why?” I know why, I just don’t want to admit it.

“To remember the love we almost had, Harm. So you always know where you were.”

“Thank you, Mark. I could never forget you.” I hug him, crying.

“No, Harm, thank you,” he whispers.

After about fifteen minutes, Mark lets go. “Come on, Harm. I’ll walk you home,” He says. Still quiet.

The walk was silent and as we reached my front steps Mark stopped and turned toward me. “I’ll always love you Harmony,”  he whispered and kissed my forehead. “ And I’ll always be here for you.”

Then as I watched my first love walk away I clutch the pendant and tears roll down my eyes. I failed him in every way possible and still he fixed me, and still he cares for me. Now that’s love.