Life is not fair. Having to put on a fake smile everyday gets annoying and I am tired of doing it. Lately, kids have begun noticing that my fake smile that everyone likes is slowly going away. Adults do not see it because they think that I might be having a bad day or just arguing with my family. They think the next time they see me that “smile” they like will be back.
No one really sees how unhappy I actually am even though that fake smile cannot hide it. Everyone blows me off all the time. However, when they need something of me, I am now their best friend that they never had. They think I do not see it but I do. In life you just get used and replaced by everyone. When they do want you anymore or get tired of you they will find someone else. It hurts more than anything. You might have worked so hard and they promised you things that you really wanted but, then they treat you like trash at the end because they got what they wanted out of you. The worst part is when they replace you with someone who does not work as hard as you and they talk trash about everyone else. You never know when you are going to fall one hundred feet to the floor and not get up. The pain in life is getting too much that I just go crying to my mother. However, I will not be able to do that in the real world.
Nothing is ever going to change for me. Nothing has been going how I want it to. The saying when life gives you lemons make lemonade, is good for someone but that someone is not me. I might be overreacting, however, that is your judgement to make; my life has always been people judging me without really knowing me. The people that judge me I thank you with all my heart, you are the ones that make me stronger; everyone else still sees me as a baby and that is never going to prepare me for the real world.
People try and hide from the world because they are scared of getting judged. It honestly hurts, more than getting judge because they do not know what you have gone through. They do not know how much in pain you are in or the situations you have come across, they only care about that smile you have.
People do not know the meaning of life anymore or the meaning of love. It is scary because you would not know if you are in love or not. I can tell you many examples but I want you to stop and think how you would feel if you had no family, no friend, you hate your job and you live alone. Well, people in the world live like that right now. Life is not far. However, I would say the worst part of life is when people feel sorry for you and they treat you different, or they remind you the worst memories that you are trying to forget and you do not want to feel that pain anymore because it took you a long time to accept it. The things you do not want to happen end up happening. I am just getting tired of it. When is everything going to stop so I have a moment to think about what is really important?
Nothing in life is going to end up how we want it; it would be amazing if it did though. But life is not like that. There will be one day that I will just stop and scream hoping that all my problems will go away. Hoping that adults will stop seeing me like a baby, earn respect from people, not getting replaced, not having people feel sorry for me, not reminding me of my worst memories and more. I can do a million thing hoping all of these things can change, however it does not mean people will react to what I am trying to say. I give it all I have and all I am to people is a car that takes them to places and they find what they are looking for after they come back to me to take them to some other place. I am still young, but I have been used so much that I feel old. I feel like I am going to break down any moment. On the other hand, I do not want another person to experience what I have gone through, so I will try and run like a new car because I know how horrible it is to be a car I do not want someone I care about to be a car.
Life is not fair, but I will try to make the most of it, even if that means having to deal with the same people every day, and putting on that fake smile that everyone likes because all I am to people is a car until I go out in the real world. I might be eaten alive, but I rather be eaten alive than being someone’s car. Until then I will wait patiently.