Dear God,
Hello there. How are you? Well, I really wouldn’t know where to begin. God at this moment I am coming to you as humble as I know how. I need you to hold me and to help me start this relationship between us two. I need you to hear me and listen very well. I’m trapped and have nowhere else to turn. I have cried to you, asking you to lead me and to teach me understanding. I am very tired and feel as though I should give up. When I get close to quitting everything and living a normal high school life, it’s like you graze my shoulder with reassurance.
Maybe I am just another lost teenager trying to figure things out. Maybe I am being challenged to pursue your will for me. I guess I admit it. I am lost and I want to be freed, I want us to have a friendship. I want us to have a close bond, but you have to help me. Show me that you’re here, show me that you will love me no matter what; you won’t judge me without helping me and picking me back up.
I want completion. I don’t know what I need but all I ask for is your guidance and a peaceful mind. No one has ever offered or taken the time to sit and let me express my raw emotions. I have held in so much and I don’t have the strength to grasp it any longer. Problem is I don’t know how to release it either.
Every “friend” I’ve ever had has betrayed me or only uses me. I take so much time caring for everyone else I have been neglecting myself. I listen to the unheard hearts around me. But who listens to me other than you? No one. I ask for a human companion, someone who will listen. Communicating with you will give me long term results, but having that shoulder to cry on would help so much for the moment.
Please don’t think I’m ungrateful. I’m thankful for all that you and all that you will do. I’m just going through life one day at a time, one footstep after another. I will continue to smile because I know that you’re here. I will continue to bring joy to everyone around me even though I feel like an outsider everywhere I go. I will not be unhappy!
Me and you together, we are about to take this journey.  Hand in hand, we can do anything. Please come with me, so when this is all over I know what to do next. Stay with me from start to finish.
There’s complete darkness in this room and Acacia has finally finished writing her letter. She folds it up and places it in her pillowcase. There was a beautiful sense of peace hovering over her. Just a hint of a smile graces her face.
“Acacia, come here now!” her mother calls out.
“Just a moment.”
“Do you not understand what NOW means?”
Acacia takes a deep breath and proceeds in going to the kitchen to see what her mother wanted. The kitchen was full of smoke and a bad smell of burnt biscuits. There was a gloomy silence when Acacia graced the kitchen. Her mother, Shawn had an awkward expression upon her face. She knew deep down in her heart, there was something fishy going on. The coffee pot made a noise due to the overwhelming amount of steam escaping out the pot, the silence was then broken.
“Mom, what’s going on with you?”
“I’ve met this guy Acacia. He seems so very nice and I’ve been on a couple of dates with him.”
“Do you think you like him?”
“I really don’t know, but I think I’m ready for you to meet him.”
All of Acacia’s life it was just her and her mother. Her father had died before she was born and her mother hadn’t begun to date until now. They had grown to a have a relationship beyond just mother and daughter, they were best friends. She didn’t quite understand why her mother felt the need to hide him from her. Maybe she just didn’t think it was the right time. Yet, when is the “right” time?
They ate breakfast and came to the conclusion that he would come over that night for dinner. They cleaned every corner of their tiny apartment. They cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed and polished everything in sight.  They cleaned until they could see the twinkle that you sometimes see on cartoons. Acacia was slightly exhausted and gradually fell into an intense power nap.
When Acacia woke up, she went and watched her mother dress her face in a way she had never seen. She always watched her mother do her makeup, but she had never seen her mother put forth so much effort in just her face alone. Her red lipstick and perfect balance of blush and highlight had become acquainted with her face flawlessly. She had on a beautiful black dress and glittery red bottom stilettos.  She was astonished by her own beauty, almost as much as it amazed Acacia.
“You beat your face mom and that dress is on point!”
“Am I slaying the game or what?”
They both busted into a joyous laughter, that seemed to last forever. It was true indeed, she was sure to stop in man in their tracks.
“I hope he notices. He has an odd way of expressing himself. Don’t be alarmed by some of the things he may say or do.”
“You never have anything really positive to say about this guy. What do you even like about him?”
There was an obnoxious knock on the door. Her mother jumped instantly. Acacia went to open the door. At the threshold stood a tall man in a business suit, the hair on his face was thicker than a forest, and he had these big eyes that seemed to pierce though my thoughts. He was such a creepy man.
They all sat   at the kitchen table in silence for quite some time. Acacia broke the silence and began asking him questions. By the end of the meal Acacia knew that his name was Bobby Lawson, he was the CEO of some company he couldn’t tell me the name of, and he was recently divorced. Many of the questions he answered he answered hesitantly, like he was remembering something.
Acacia had an odd feeling in her stomach and couldn’t wait for him to leave. The dinner went by and things didn’t seem to get any less awkward. Bobby finally proceeded to leave and Acacia caught a glance from him that made her feel so uncomfortable. It was a glance that she seemed to remember from somewhere and a glance she could never forget.

Dear God,
Have you ever just sat and analyzed your life? Have you ever looked so closely at every aspect of your being and depicted every detail of your encounters? Lately, that seems to be all I do. School is going to be starting and I want to just clear my mind. It’s such a hard task for me. 
From the stories my Nana tells me, my mom hasn’t been happy since my father went away. She’s always thinking. It’s like her mind never takes a break. When I look into her eyes, my heart can sense her incompleteness. I always wonder what my father would be like. I’ve seen so many pictures of him and he’s such a beautiful man. Just the other day I glanced in the mirror and saw that I have his nose and eyes. I wish I could know my mom’s reasoning for not letting me know him. I think she’s afraid of something. She’s hiding so much from me and it’s not fair at all. I sit and listen to her cry all the time.
God, Bobby isn’t a good man and you’ve given me the intuition to see it. What do I do now? I can tell my mom’s not happy and I want to make things right for her. She deserves to be loved by a wholesome man. She deserves someone who will make her feel alive again. God, right now I just ask you to guide my footsteps and order my path. Help me to perform your will Lord. In your holy name I pray, Amen.
Well it’s August 21st, and it Acacia’s first day of high school. She is officially fresh meat. Four years of new experiences is ahead of her. She feels he nerves in her stomach playing tag for about an hour while she rides to school. When she got to the school, the school seemed gray and depressed like an old time movie scene. She ran into her best friend in the hallway. She was so excited to see her and she was the only familiar face among the sea of strangers she was drowning in.
“How are you? I haven’t seen you since John’s pool party.” Acacia states to her best friend Angel. It was the most casual voice she has had in a long time.
“Girl, you know all I do is work. I work so much it is ridiculous. I’m always tired, but I won’t complain one bit. No I won’t.”
“Same here. I’m just trying to make it.”
“Aren’t we all?”
“Have you heard anything from Timothy over the summer?”
“No. He started acting so funny. I’m not sure what’s really going on with him honestly. I’ve actually been looking forward to seeing him.”
The bell had rang and everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off. There were the usual smells of Downfield High School circulating through the school.  There was the smell of marijuana, proactive, deodorant, and fish cakes. Acacia finally found her class after looking for the vocational center for about seven minutes.
When she walked into the classroom, there was a beautiful, full-figured, light-skinned lady sitting at the desk. She had a slight grin on her face like she was happy to be there. Their eyes finally met and Acacia finally spoke.
“How are you Mrs. Cain?”
“I’m wonderful miss…… What’s your name sweetie?”
“My name is Acacia. I’m sorry for being late; I was having a hard time finding this place.”
Acacia gracefully found a seat next to a small girl she hadn’t met before. She arrived to the right class, but wasn’t sure what subject the class was. She kneeled down and rambled the papers around in her book bag until she saw her schedule. As she looked up she saw a handsome, muscular, smooth, and brown skinned face. She saw these piercing hazel eyes that she knew so well.
As she looked into Timothy’s eyes she thought back to the last time she had seen him. It was about two months ago and there were blistering heat dancing around Chicago. Acacia had gone to Tastee Hut to get an ice cream cone, there she first laid eyes on the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen. He was the person who would affect her world greatly. He noticed her just as quickly as she had noticed him. He was captivated by her beautiful smile, joyful laugh, curly hair, and how short she was. He had hurried behind her in line to try to catch her attention. Acacia clumsy as ever, had run into his chest as she turned around. She was smacked by his splendid scent and couldn’t help but laugh at herself.
“Excuse me. I’m so stupidly clumsy. Did I get anything on your shirt?”
“No, it’s fine. Are you new around here?”
“No, I just don’t get out much. What school do you go to or should I say will go to?”
“Downfield. What about you?”
“The same school as you.” She said with a trunk load of excitement. They exchanged names and Timothy finally built up the nerves to ask her out on a date.
“Miss Acacia, can I take you out one day?”
“Of course, Mr. Timothy.”
“Okay, I will get my older brother to come pick you up next Saturday and we can go skating.” Timothy walked her home and they talked to whole way. She felt as if she had known him forever. They both were anticipating their date so much; it seemed as though it took forever to come. Friday night they both lay up all night thinking of what the next day would bring. She woke up early and straightened her hair. She looked throughout her closet and couldn’t find a single thing to wear. Her mom stormed through the door with a handful of bags. Her mom bought her a pretty red romper, makeup, and some cute little flats. After she got dressed, she sat and waited with butterflies climbing in her tummy.
There was a knock on the door and there he was looking just as nervous as she did. Her mom kissed her forehead, told her be careful, and sent her on her way. There was something about Timothy she really liked.  The ride to the rink was awkward for them and extremely silent. When they got to the rink, he opened all the doors for her and followed the “Guide to being a Perfect Gentleman” directly to her heart. They enjoyed each other so much and everything went flawless. She felt so complete for once in her life.
He had her home by curfew, kissed her on her cheek, and left for home. She daydreamed of him for weeks. She tried calling him and texting him, but she got no answer at all. She didn’t understand what went wrong. Acacia finally snapped back to reality and got up the consciousness to speak. Before she opened her mouth to speak she looked around and noticed that the period was almost over. She listened to the teacher mumble for about half an hour and then the bell sounded for them to go to lunch. She saw Timothy jet to the hallway and she went after him.
“Hey. How have you been?”
“Fine I guess.” He seemed off; he was thinking about something and Acacia could sense some tension.
“Why did you just ignore me after our date? What went wrong?”
“Acacia, sometimes things must go unsaid to protect us. Everything isn’t what it seems and everything isn’t what it seems not to be.”
Those words replayed in her head over and over. She would never forget the look in his eyes and how jittery he seemed. She questioned the sincerity of his words. She escaped her thoughts and went into the lunchroom. Have you ever went into a room full of people, yet still felt so alone? She finally found Angel and sat down. The awkward loneliness had been broken. They both analyzed their trays for a while, trying to figure out what creation was exactly resting upon their trays. There were globs of green, orange, and some color that humans haven’t named yet looking back at them. They both came to a mutual agreement that those substances couldn’t be edible.
Lunch was over and school was dismissed for the day. A herd of wild students bombarded the door simultaneously. Angel and Acacia both walked together to Tastee Hut to go get some decent food. On their way there they passed Timothy and a group of boys. Acacia decided to leave him alone and acted as though he wasn’t there. It was the hardest thing she had to do all day.
Timothy was on his way to the house that cursed him but he had no choice but to go. It would cost him his life if he didn’t. They arrived at an old, grey, and abandoned house. The windows were boarded up and the grass was completely dead. It looked like a haunted house. They all hesitated to approach the door. The same loneliness that had consumed Acacia for that moment was now occupying him.
He finally grew the courage to open the door and there stood his boss, Bobby Lawson. Bobby was dressed in a torn white tank top and greenish colored work pants. He had on steel toed boots and seemed sweaty.
“Come on in you fools” Bobby had a raspy voice that sounded like someone gargling metal screws. Timothy was always the only one to speak up to him or responded to the things he said.
“It stinks in there. It smells like something is rotting in there.”
“You would think you would be used to that odor by now.”
“No one could ever get used to something like that. I’m here because I have some questions that you seem to never want to answer.” Timothy was scared of what would come next but he knew it had to be done.
“What connection do you have with Acacia? Why can’t I see her?”
“Let us just say me and her Pops have some business that needs to be cleared up before ANYONE can get to close to your little crush or her mother.”
“Acacia said her father was dead. This isn’t making any since.”
“I would be best for you to keep your distance from her. You will mess up my plan and get in the way of my money. You could possibly have in sitting behind bars for life if I tell you anything else.”
“I want to know. I love that girl, promise you won’t hurt her Bobby! I’ll do any job you need me to if you promise to stay away from her.” Bobby instantly pulled out his shot gun and Timothy was face to face with the barrel of his gun. Timothy could feel his boiling blood rushing through him. He was angry and scared all wrapped up in confusion.
“Be quiet boy, you work for me. Just do what I say and that is all. You’re so ungrateful. I give you a job and in return I get lousy work and you snooping into everything. “Timothy remained silent staring into the metal on his face with deep breaths of fear running out of his body.  Finally Bobby removed the gun out of his space and asked him to leave his “home”. Timothy left with the little pride he had left inside of him. He was determined to figure out what exactly was going on around him. He had to help Acacia even if it meant risking his life. He knew deep in his heart that she was worth it.
The day had passed and Timothy had finally allowed himself to calm down enough to get in bed. He stared at the ceiling recollecting everything in his mind. “Acacia thinks her father is dead and her mother hasn’t told her anything about her father other than that. Bobby must have something to do with his death or maybe he isn’t dead. What if Bobby has him hidden away somewhere being tortured?” He remained blank minded after those thoughts and eventually fell into an uneasy sleep.
Meanwhile, Acacia was at home crying franticly. She felt incomplete and didn’t understand why Timothy was behaving that way. She depended on him to be that listening ear. Even though they only communicated for a short period of time he knew everything about her. She finally could trust someone.
Dear God,
It’s me again. I wonder if you get tired of my crying and frantic outbursts of terror. You’re all I have left to turn to so here I go. My mom always told me that you make no mistake that every person and every moment happens for a reason. She says that my plan may not be your plan and that you’re the Almighty. You brought Timothy in my life and I thought that for once I had a companion. Angel is always busy and now Timothy won’t even look my direction.
What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me? Is my purpose to be alone and lost? My mom is always depressed I can’t even talk to her anymore. This just isn’t the life for a teenager. I want to go out and party. I just want to be free. Every night I keep having these strange dreams. My father’s face is floating behind some gray cloud and he is reaching for my hand. He screams my name and his tear drop graces my hand. All throughout the dream I feel like I’m falling. What are you trying to tell me?
Lord I love you and only want to live right. Please guide my actions and my thoughts. I ask you to lead me to the truth because so many things in my life feel so unclear.
                                      Amen.
The alarm clock rang bright and early it was the start of a new day. The sun creped through her blinds and she was determined to have a good day. She did her hair and makeup. She put on her favorite pair of jeans and her brand new Cotton Off t-shirt. She looked in the mirror and actually liked what was looking back at her for change. She smiled at her mother, told her she loved her, and went out the door.
When she got to school the first person she noticed was Timothy. She was always captivated by those cat eyes. She walked right by him once again. Her next destination was to her locker; hopefully she would run into Angel. That would make ignoring him a little easier. She got to her locker and found a note that read:
Acacia I’m sorry for how I acted. There is so much I have been hiding from you and I really want to come clean. Something isn’t right and I am determined to fix it. Everything really isn’t what it seems and everything isn’t what it seems not to be. I wasn’t ignoring you because I wanted to it’s because I have to. I will come see you tonight and tell you everything. Acacia, I love you!