I’ve began to fall in love with her. More than I could ever imagine. I was in love with her voice, humble smile, and deep thoughts. I would always wonder what went on in that beautiful mind of hers. As days went by, I started to realize how much I value her. I would do anything to get her to say those three magic words; I love you.
It was nearly impossible to just hear the bare truth behind her silence, it was as if she was afraid. I knew, I was not the best guy in the past, and I’ve lost many peoples trusts, but she has changed me so much just in three months, it’s impractical. A girl having such a huge impact on me. I’m in the constant struggle of trying to get her to believe I truly am in love with her, and I’m only hers. Everything she said had a deeper meaning behind it.  If only she would open up her heart to me. I want to know her inside out, I want to learn her, I wish I could just read her like a book.
Talking to her consumes most of my day. When I’m not talking to her, she constantly on my mind. The same conversations repeat in my head over and over again. I’m always caught smiling just on my own, in thought of her. There’s something different about her, for once I was in a relationship with a girl when I’ve wanted nothing but love and care, I actually felt something real with her. She cared so much for me, I didn’t want to ever let her go.
There was a voice in the back of my mind diverting my opinion on her. It wasn’t just my conscience, but it was Caleb. Caleb and I had been friends for a few years, we’ve had our ups and downs but he always seemed to come around. Caleb has always tried to talk me out of being in love with her, pointing out her flaws, how she used to be before I got to know her, but there’s nothing he can say about her, and she has no flaws. I often think its just jealousy taking over Caleb, he can’t stand seeing me finally become better. But sometimes I stop to think and listen closely to what he says. He causes me to have a thousand doubts in my mind. He always says how the only reason she is with me is because she can’t get anyone else. I know for a fact that isn’t true. With a personality like that she can get anyone she wants.
I am not even close to what she deserves. She deserves someone who can show his love to her, prove it to her and show her exactly what she is worth. Sometimes I have no control of my anger and I start to yell at her, never has she left my side.
When she stands by me, it doesn’t seem like we make an ideal couple, not at all. When she doesn’t open up to me, I feel as if she doesn’t love me. When I get upset and almost let go she has no reaction, why? What has made her so numb to this? She has a heart, a beautiful one as a matter of fact, that holds her together so perfectly. But why does she shut me out, its like im with her but I’m not. I can’t afford to hurt such a beautiful girl like herself, I know myself better than anyone. I will cause her to cry many tears in the future, it’s just what ive always done. I can never prevent that from happening. I’m always stuck between being selfish and selfless. Just the thought of what Caleb is saying comes true drives me insane. She was just a fragile flower just blooming and if I were to be a little rough I could stop her from growing in whole. But I am addicted to her love now, I love her so much that I can’t see her not with me, but I can’t see her in tears one day either.
…

I’m hurt. I’m sick. And I’m tired. I’ve been treated like a door mat my whole life. I’ve been misused and abused. I deserve to be happy too now. I hate being left alone and that’s exactly what always happens. Everyone I truly love walks out of my life, but I won’t let that happen anymore. I seem to be living in my past most of the time, I haven’t figured out a way to move on.
Everything reminds me of him, I remember every single word he’s ever said to me. Romeo says everything to me that I wished Caleb had said. But never did, and just left me with nothing but regret and a broken soul to live with. Every time Romeo says I love you I hesitate to say it back. Because the truth is, I don’t love him, and I never will.
He loves me so much I don’t want him to go, but it’s a known fact I don’t look at him like I would look at Caleb. The way I felt for Caleb is like no other, he was my first love and maybe my last. My heart isn’t so broken anymore and its in the process of healing, thanks to Romeo, I’ve realized what it feels like to be loved insanely. How do I let someone go who loves me this much? I feel really lucky and blessed but I just don’t feel it back. I lie every time he asks if I love him.
Romeo has had a tough life, and I’m sure no ones cared for him like I have. Leaving his will feel like betrayal. I’ve felt betrayed before and I cant let anyone else go through the same thing. Caleb looks down upon me, like im nothing. I remember the words he said four months ago like it was yesterday, he said no one will ever want to be with me, because I have nothing that can attract anyone, I’m worthless. Its ironic how his best friend is madly in love with me now. Out of all people. Caleb will go far to jeopardize our relationship because he thinks its so real from both ends. But truly I still love Caleb, and I can never tell him that. my heart beats for him every second.
My mind tells me I’m playing with fire and I’m about to get burned badly, but I think I’ve been through enough I can handle it. Then my heart, it’s broken. I need someone to lean on. Someone to be there for me, just so Caleb thinks i’m stable and I’m okay. To make me look like I’m fine and happy with my life. Putting up this act is much harder than I thought and I don’t know if I can keep this up for much longer. But in all this, I’ve learned we can never know what is truly in someone’s heart and what battle they fight every day with themselves and the harsh world around them.