The whole morning I had been listening to my two younger siblings bickering in the back seat and my mother’s ongoing phone calls. I went on the Gps app in my phone; it said I was only two more hours from home. I assured myself I could get through it; I mean I can get through anything. I attempted  to rest my head on my window but my long blonde hair kept falling in my face so I tucked it behind my ears.I was about to drift off to sleep until my younger brother started to kick the back of my seat. I know he is only ten and I'm fifteen but enough is enough. “Parker if you don't stop kicking my seat I'm gonna take your glasses of your face and chuck them out the window.” He replied “Well at least I won't have to look at you “Iadded “I wish I would never have to look at you either.” This was the only thing my mother got off the phone for. “Amanda your fifteen stop talking to your little brother like that.” Of course I got blamed for the whole thing. We hadbeen in the car for hours driving home from Massachusetts and all I wanted was to be home in New York.  All I could do was stare out the window and watch the droplets of rain fall to the green plush earth. I turned my music up and tried to relax. It started to get dark. I reclined my seat down and unbuckled so I could be more comfortable.

      I woke up ten minutes later to the sound of thunder. The rain pelted down harshly onto the windshield like a bird pecking at a seed.  We were driving through much heavier rain from when I was awake before. My mom had gotten off the phone which was very rare. I looked at her; I could tell she was tense. Her hand tightly gripped the steering wheel and she had a panicked look on her face. I knew she hated to drive in the rain. As we pulled up to an intersection my mom’s wheels lost traction. I screamed as she lost control and slammed into a car on the other side of the rode. The windshield shattered into million little pieces. The particles of glass found themselves in my eyes and my head hit the dashboard. That's when everything went black.

       The next morning heard the voices of multiple people. I thought I was awake but I couldn't open my eyes because of a foreign heaviness on them. I didn't know what was going on. All I could remember was being in the car and the last flash of headlights from the car we had hit. I heard my mothers voice call a doctor into the room, I then heard a male voice say “Amanda I know you are unable to see me but I’m Dr.Falzone. Unfortunately you're mother, siblings, and you were in a car crash last night. None of them suffer from any injuries except you. I have some unfortunate news about the injures you suffer from due to you not being in a seatbelt.  The glass from the windshield shattered into your eyes and has effected your eyesight gravely. We are still running some tests but there is a chance your vision is permanently impaired. We won't be able to tell for a few days.” He left the room. I felt my mother’s arms hold me in a tight lock. I couldn't process what he had just told me.

      I wanted to cry but the bandages covering my eyes made me unable to. As I lay in that hospital bed I had a million things running through my mind. I wondered how everyone would view me if I lost my vision. I went back to sleep knowing there was nothing more I could do.

      A few days past and they took the bandages completely off. The heaviness was gone off my eyes but the pain was still present. After hours of trying to open my soar bloodshot eyes I gained very faint vision in my left eye. The doctor said there was hope for more improvement but I couldn't imagine it that at the time. I knew my mother had been talking to my doctor about me leaving but she didn't think I was ready to face reality.

                After about a week and a half after my accident I was out of the hospital. Dr.Falzone sent me home with eye exercises to do to strengthen my left eye so I could continue to live a somewhat normal life. My mom tried to talk me into going back to school right away but I convinced heaviness anywhere close to ready.

  Eventually I got bored of squinting at the television and eating ice cream and decided to pick up a book. I opened the first page. I squinted my left eye and tried to focus as hard as a could. I could make out some of the words but most letters looked blurry. I threw the book across the room and bawled my weary eyes out. I told myself I had been in the worst situation imaginable in the whole entire world and there was no coming back from it. My mother entered my room and looked down at me. The tears made my already impaired vision worse as a looked up at the undefined silhouette in front of me. “Amanda you can't give up that easily. This thing that happened to you is awful but you are strong enough to push through it. When this first happened you didn't know if you going to be able to see at all. It’s a blessing you are even alive. Don't let this hold you back from anything.” I screamed “This is your entire fault! You should have been more careful driving because you caused this mess! I don’t ever want to see you within ten feet of me and I hope you know who I feel towards you!” I couldn't see tears but I could tell she was crying.

     I laid down on my mattress thinking about what I had just done. I still needed time to cope with this but it was no excuse to be mean to her.I found the strength to get up and find my mom. She was standing in the kitchen when I apologized to her “I’m so sorry for the way I talked to you. I know you only want to help but this situation is so difficult for me and I can't help but take it out on you. This wasn't your fault and I'm so sorry for being dramatic.” She hugged me tightly and replied “I know it's hard but we're going to get through this together.”

    After dinner we discussed when a good time for me to go back to school would be. My mom told me if I kept doing my eye exercises I could go back at the end of the week. When I first found out I was going to see all my friends in less than a week I was ecstatic. I wanted nothing more than to be with my friends again and try to be a normal teenager. Then the more I thought about it the more I became apposed to the idea. I worried about what what everyone would think of me after my injury. I wondered if they would see my right lazy green eye in a forever trance instead of seeing me. I wondered if school would be a lot harder with my vision being weak. I became anxious when the days became closer.

     On October 4, 2004 I walked into my high school like I never had before. I felt my body shaking as I stood before the door. Chills ran down my spine as I took my first step into the school. I used my almost completely healed left eye to guild me around. Although I couldn't see well I felt everyone's eyes glued in me. I heard the whispers when I walked by about what had happened to me. My friends were happy to see me but also seemed to still be in shock about the whole situation. People’s sympathies seamed about as real as Bigfoot. I don't think five minutes went by without hearing someone say “Let me give you a hug.” or “I'm so glad to see you, omg you're so strong.” I couldn't be mad because people were just trying to be nice.

            I got home and got myself I bowl of mac and cheese and grabbed the same book I had tried to read a week ago.this time I was determined to actually read. I opened the first page and slowly looked over the words. My left eye was vexed onto the phrases of each line. I canceled out everything else in my house and focused on reading one page. After about ten minutes I got through the first page. I slowly skimmed through the pages of the book. I got through the first chapter that day. It was the first time I was truly happy after the accident.

         I realized that dealing with my eyesight was going to be hard but I couldn't give up. I went to school the next day and faced my classmates. I tried to keep a more positive attitude this time. I felt more relaxed opening the door to my high school. I still got the same sympathies throughout the day but I tried to appreciate them more. I knew I was lucky to be alive and I was happy to know people were glad I was too. I went home and cleaned up the house for my mom. I knew she was affected by this situation just as much as I was. She was my punching bag throughout this whole battle and I needed to thank her. I turned on the stove and made some pasta. My mother came through the door with my younger brother and sister. I greeted all of them with a kiss and “I love you.” After dinner I sat down with my mo and talked to her I told her I was so sorry for what I had out her through these past few weeks and I loved her more than anything. I told her I was getting more patience with my eye and it was strengthening.

     She told me she was so grateful to have me in her life and there was nothing that could stop her from loving me. After my accident I realized how caught up I was in my social life and want focused on what I loved. I hadn't realized how much I love my family and I hadn't realized that sometimes losing something can lead to finding something greater