It was a Saturday morning in April, an unusually frigid, dark, rainy day, Jessica could remember it perfectly. She had finished drinking her morning tea, trying to warm her cold body, when she got the phone call with a message that caused her to drop her red mug to the floor in shock. It shattered into a million pieces like a jumbled jigsaw puzzle. She set the phone down and sunk into her chair silently sobbing into her hands. She took a quick glance over to her right and saw her old ragdoll on one of the wooden shelves. Oh how she had loved playing with it as a young girl. She always used to take it with her to Times Square on many of her family’s annual February vacations to New York. She always thought that the doll would enjoy experiencing the Big Apple’s howling winds and bustling crowds. Jessica had many great experiences and fond memories from her trips. On one surprise visit in July, on her birthday, she ended up meeting her husband, Thomas in front of Radio City Music Hall while she was waiting for the rest of her family.
After remembering better times, Jessica could not help but dwell on the news she just received. She decided not to go to work because it would be too much to bear for one day. Thinking that if she slept, the pain would go away, she ran upstairs to her bedroom, and could not help but stop to look in the mirror. As she stared at her reflection, it seemed as though the color had faded from her face along with the deep redness of her hair. Everything around her turned to gray and no longer had meaning. She had just lain down in her bed when the doorbell rang. Jessica slowly got up and went downstairs to see who it could be. It was the mailman with a single letter in his hand with her name on it. She took the letter and closed the door. She had always been such a bubbly person, but today she did not want to talk to anyone. Opening the letter, she saw that it was from her husband. It was his weekly letter to her from the military base. It read, “To my dearest wife, I miss you more than you can imagine and I cannot wait to hold you close again. I have just received word that I shall be going to the front. This is the moment I have been dreading because I should be coming home, but my commander has assured me that this will be my last mission. Please tell Jacob that I will be home four days after I return from this operation. Keep me in your prayers. With love, Thomas.” She closed her eyes and placed the letter, now stained with her tears, on the table.
Soon after she had read the letter a car pulled up in front of the house, and her son ran to the door and came inside yelling, “Where’s papa? Where’s papa? Did he come home yet mama?”
“No Jacob, papa hasn’t come home yet” as she spoke tears fell down her cheeks.
“Where is he mama? Is he saving the world? Is he fighting bad guys?”
“NO JACOB! PAPA ISN’T COMING HOME!” as soon as the words came out she knew that it was wrong to say.
“What do you mean mama?” he quickly replied.
“It’s nothing Jacob, take your little toy army plane that papa gave you and go play in your room tonight okay?”
“Okay mama,” he whispered.
As Jacob headed to his room, Jessica walked over to the sink and began to wash the dishes, hoping that it would take her mind off of the phone call. When she picked up the white mug with the lipstick smudge that she had remembered using just three days ago when Thomas gave her a surprise phone call, she began to cry once again. She immediately began to wash away the lipstick, washing away the memories. Next, she picked up two wine glasses that also reminded her of last time Thomas was home. She couldn’t handle it anymore. She stepped back away from the sink, holding the wine glasses. With tears welling up in her eyes again, she dropped the glasses to the floor and they smashed. She collapsed to her knees, with head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. After the loud crash, Jacob came running in to see what was wrong. He saw his mom crying and went over to hug her, but she shooed him away so he would not get hurt on the shards of glass. He then ran back into is room and continued playing with his toys before dinner.
Jessica slowly stood back up and cleaned the broken glass off the floor. She then looked over to the small broken flower vase in the corner, went over, and touched the dying roses from her husband. Jessica decided to make dinner so that little Jacob could eat even though she would not be eating. She made him his favorite meal and only enough for him. She then began to feel depressed and she wanted it all to go away. She went over to the fridge and poured herself a small glass of Sprite hoping that would take her mind off of the phone call. When Jacob smelled the delicious aroma of the chicken coming into his room, he sprinted out of his bedroom and ran right into his mother who was holding the glass in her hand. The Sprite spilled all over the floor and on the two of them. Furious, Jessica stormed up to her room leaving Jacob alone to eat his food.
In her room Jessica stared into the mirror at her once joyful self. She could not help but glance down at the dusty picture of the military soldier that was her husband. After doing so she began to cry once again. She wiped her eyes and collapsed on her bed. She then thought that maybe, just maybe, if she fell asleep this would all go away and simply be a bad dream when she awoke. So she fell asleep and began to dream. She dreamed about the time Thomas came home in his old muddy yellow rain boots carrying his backpack with the broken zipper. She had just put on her new dress; it was a pink cap-sleeve dress with a white fabric belt, she remembered it perfectly. Thomas had told her that she had looked beautiful and gently kissed her rosy cheek. With this she woke up and ran to her closet, but the dress was not there. She shook the thought out of her head and ran downstairs, but all she saw was the old ripped curtain from the fight that her and Thomas had before he was to return back to the base, along with the scrap of camouflage fabric that was stuck to it.
Later that week, the military commander for Thomas’ unit showed up at the house with Thomas’ old bitten pencil he used to use to write her letters, his pictures, and packed suitcase. Even though she was sad, she ripped his picture out of the newspaper and left the scraps on the wooden countertop. She hoped and prayed that someday, somehow, and in some way the empty chair at the wooden table would once again be filled. Whether it was in this life or the next, she knew deep in her heart that she would see her beloved husband, Thomas once again. It broke her heart to tell Jacob that his father would not be coming home, but she knew it was something she needed to do no matter how hard or painful it was. She knew she would cherish their times together forever. Being the wonderful mother she was, Jessica realized that she desperately needed to be strong for both her and her son. Soon, Jessica would have to explain everything to yet another member of the family, Evelyn Rose, Thomas’ child that she was expecting in two months.