I never thought something like this would ever happen to me. It’s called Chordoma. It was some kind of tumor growing on my spinal cord that was slowly, but surely killing me. I was only 13 years old when I was diagnosed with this awful disease. I had no clue how to deal with it. I always pictured myself graduating high school, going to college, getting married and having kids. You’re probably just as confused was, so let me take you back to where it all started.
“Mom, my back has been bothering me all day, do you have any Advil?” I said.
“No, Gianna, you’ll have to wait five minutes until we get home. But I’m starting to get a little worried about this back problem. Has the school tested for scoliosis yet?” asked my mom.
“No but they probably will this week. You don’t think it could be that serious though, right?”
“I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see. Don’t worry about it right now, but let me know if it gets worse.”
“Okay.”
The next day at school, they had scoliosis testing, and I was completely normal. That was a huge relief, until my toes started tingling during the day. I told my mom about it, and she looked really concerned. That’s when I knew something was wrong. My mom never gets nervous or anxious. She’s always the one who’s calm in stressful situations. But this time, she seemed really nervous.
“Gianna, how long has the tingling been going on?” asked my mom with a concerned look on her face.
“It just started today.”
“I’m making a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow morning.”
“Mom, I really don’t think it’s that serious that I have to miss school.”
“I’m not taking any chances. Be ready to go tomorrow morning at seven”    
  The next morning, I went to the doctor’s office. My pediatrician checked out my back and saw that nothing was wrong externally. But she seemed concerned that my toes were tingling, so she sent me to the emergency room for an MRI.
“I can’t tell if anything is wrong by just looking at your back. I double checked for scoliosis, and there were no abnormalities whatsoever. However, I’m still concerned about the tingling sensation in your toes. To be safe, I want you to go to the ER right now. Get the MRI, and we’ll go from there.”
We did what she said. My mom and I drove to the ER and signed in. We only waited for an hour, but it felt like five. I had never in my life gone to the ER for an MRI, so I was pretty nervous. But being my mother’s daughter, I kept calm. I was finally called back.
“Gianna Dias, you can come back now.” called a nurse.
“I got up, and walked through the doorway. I was led through a winding and confusing maze of hallways until we finally got to a small room. The doctors asked me so many questions that I can only remember one.
“Has anyone in your family suffered from cancer?” questioned the doctor.
This questioned shouldn’t have bothered me, but it did. These awful thoughts of cancer raced through my head uncontrollably. I began thinking that I really could have cancer. I thought of losing my long, blonde, beautiful, thick hair. I thought of having to go through chemo and endless surgeries. I know, this seems really unreasonable to think after just one simple question, but I couldn’t help but think “What if?” The doctor’s voice finally brought me out of my mind and back to the room where I was sitting.
“Okay, those are all the questions I have for now. Let’s go back to the MRI room and see what’s actually going on.” added the doctor.
That’s exactly what I did. I got up, walked back to the dark, cold MRI room, changed into a hospital gown and lied on the stone cold metal table. I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my entire life.
“The only thing you have to do is lie completely still while the machine is scanning you.” advised the nurse.
She said this like it was the easiest thing on the planet. “All you have to do is lie completely still while your thoughts are racing and your heart is pounding faster than it ever has before.” All I could do right then was imagine the worst case scenario. I realized that wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I tried my best to relax.
I got up after the scan and went to go sit with my mom in the room. She just smiled at me and didn’t say anything. She always knew when to talk and when to keep quiet. Just seeing her smile was comforting to me. I was so thankful to have her with me.
After about a half an hour, the doctor came back in. His face spoke volumes. He didn’t make eye contact with us when he walked in the room. He didn’t say a word. He finally looked up at me. 
“Gianna, you have a tumor on your spinal cord. We can’t confirm anything else until you have more tests.”
I felt the blood fall out of my face. I was so shocked that I almost passed out. My mom grabbing my hand was the only thing that kept me from running out of that room. Then I realized he said “tests.” I’ve hated needles ever since I went to my first doctor’s appointment.
“What kind of test are you talking about?” asked my mom.
“We’ll have to draw blood, do a CAT scan and extract spinal fluid.” he informed.
I won’t tell you every little detail about the rest of the day, but the doctors and nurses took my blood, put me through another MRI and a CAT scan. I was told to come back the next day to get fluid from my spine taken out. That would determine what I had. From the blood test, MRI and CAT scan, they determined it was a form of Sarcoma, a tumor on tissue.
That night, I tried to put everything out of my head, but I couldn’t. I didn’t sleep at all and I didn’t eat anything because I was so nervous. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get that pit like feeling out of my stomach.
The next day, I had the spinal fluid extracted. When I tell you that that was the most painful and terrifying day of my life, believe me. The test felt like I was dying right there, but I pushed through because that’s who I am. I’m not a quitter, so I just had to deal with the pain.
So as you know, I was diagnosed with Chordoma. Chordoma is a tumor on the spinal cord with no known cure. When I found out there was no cure, I grew very angry. I didn’t know how to handle this absolutely crushing news. All I could do was put my trust in God’s hands and fight as hard as I possibly could.
My mom, dad and brother were absolutely devastated when they found out. I think the worst part about being sick was seeing how it upset my family. All I wanted to do was take all their sadness and put it on my shoulders, but I couldn’t. That’s what made me the most upset.
I began treatment right away. I started radiation, which was supposed to shrink the tumor and slow it’s growing. We also tried multiple surgeries, but, predictably, the tumor continued to grow back each time. The radiation and surgeries were hurting me more than they were helping me, so we decided to stop treatments and let me just live my life for as long as I could.
I changed a lot in the next two years. I learned so many things and became wiser than anyone at my age was. I learned to fight and love. I learned that anger will get you absolutely nowhere. A positive attitude is the only attitude you should have. I met so many people struggling with the same thing I was struggling with. I developed amazing friendships with people I wouldn’t have even met if I wasn’t sick.
I don’t regret stopping treatment one bit. The next years of my life were absolutely amazing. I got to spend my time with my family and my friends doing the things I loved instead of spending every second at a hospital. I was able to travel to places and experience things I probably would have never done if I wasn’t sick.
On July 23rd of 2012, I left my body to go to heaven. I didn’t want to leave my family behind, but believing that I would see them again made it okay. I knew I fought as hard as I could and my family knew that too. I was so thankful for every day and grateful for every tomorrow while I was alive. I really don’t want you to be sad that I died. I want you to know that it’s okay to die and that it’s the most peaceful thing you’ll ever experience. From my life story, I want you to not take anything for granted. Appreciate everything you have and everything you’ve gone though. Although I’m not on the earth anymore, I’m with my family in everything they do, watching over them from heaven.